Against the Grain
by springfanatic515
Summary: Pretty new to this whole fanfiction thing but I thought I would write a story mostly from Brenna's POV but probably also incorporating other characters over time! Ratings may change over time. I intend to develop this somewhat slowly to hold out until January. Let me know what you think! Open to tips/suggestions. Enjoy!
1. The First First Day

**Chapter 1 – The First First Day**

September 8th.

Last night was the last of summer vacation. Every year on the last night of summer, Mom and Dad would take April and me out to dinner at Farley's – one of our favorite restaurants in Boston. Every year, that would be the best night of summer. And every year, I'd spend the whole day before looking forward to it. A night of great food, laughs with the family, and talking for hours about how our summers were. We'd always end the night eating ice cream and walking along the waterfront. The crisp breeze of summer nights and the sound of the waves. It was perfect.

This year was different. Dad passed away last December and things have not since been the same. The house was colder. Darker. It was as if the sunlight would never cross through the kitchen window the same way again. The Boston air was no longer cozy and inviting but like a blanket heavy with sadness. Breakfast had become an obligation instead of the cheery start to the day it had been. Dinner now lasts all of 15 minutes before I resign myself to my room. Most nights I just throw on some music and lie on my bed hoping to distract myself from my own thoughts. Since Dad died, Grams came to live with us. I guess it's helped to have her around, but things still aren't easy.

I spent most of the summer doing work for school. As you can imagine, my grades kind of took a nose-dive when Dad died and I had to make up a good amount of work over the past few months. I think I've done okay all things considering but really…getting good grades in school is probably the farthest thing from my mind right now. Summer wasn't all that enjoyable.

Three months ago, April was diagnosed with cancer and our lives were turned upside-down yet again. I'm glad April has Grams, Mom, and Beth to help her get through this. I guess I haven't been the best support system for her…but I'm trying. It's just hard.

Today's the first day of school, though. The first first day of school I'll have without Dad. The first first day of school I'll have with April being sick.

I stand at the bottom of the steps at the entrance to Charton Academy when I hear a familiar voice behind me. I turn around to see my best friend, Ford, stepping off the schoolbus.

"I didn't know if you were gonna show up this morning, Bren," she said. "I guess this means you passed summer school, huh?"

"Yeah. Just glad it's over with. Definitely _not_ looking forward to this year, though," I said.

"Aw, come on. The Populars have so many new fashion fads we can make fun of! I mean…have you **seen** their skirts?"

I chuckled softly. "I missed you, Ford."

"I missed you too, Bren. How about we try to make this year not-so-horrible?"

"Sounds like a plan," I said – forcing a smile as the bell for homeroom rang.


	2. Club Director

**Chapter 2 – "Club" Director**

I walked into homeroom two or three minutes late and found a seat at the back of the class as the teacher was making her way down the roster, taking attendance.

"You must be Brenna Carver," the teacher said smiling. "I have a copy of your schedule here for you and the headmistress wanted to see you once homeroom is over."

"It's the first day! What could I have even done?" I half-shouted throwing my hands up in frustration. Realizing the entire class was staring at me, I mumbled an apology just as the bell for first period rang. Grabbing my backpack, I ran off to the headmistress's office to see what egregiousness I had committed this time. Since Dad died, I was a familiar presence in the headmistress's office. Acting out in class, though, was the least of my concerns.

"Hi, Ms. Gregorian," I said as I made my way to the seat in front of her desk. "Ms. Wilkins said you wanted to see me about something?"

Ms. Gregorian let out a small sigh, lips pressed into a thin straight line with an expression on her face that looked something like sympathy. "Your mom called in this morning a little after you had left your house."

"Okay…" I said, fearing the worst.

I should probably get better at hiding my emotions because Ms. Gregorian broke my train of thoughts: "She told me about your sister being sick. That must be hard for you."

"Oh…yeah. It's been a few months now," I offered. "But…I'm confused, though. Why exactly am I _here_?"

"I know you successfully completed summer school these past few months but it seems like you're a few credits short."

"Wait, what?! How do you expect me to make up the credits? I am **not** giving up another summer just for schoolwork," I said.

"Well, I think maybe there's another option. I talked to the Director of the Community Outreach Club and it seems like they could use a lot of help with some upcoming projects. You could help them out once per week over the next 3 months and I'll consider your credits made-up. How does that sound?"

"Yeah, fine. Whatever," I said rolling my eyes because this was just another thing on my plate. Just another obligation. At least it's just once per week, though. I can only hope this goes faster than I'm expecting it to.

"Okay…I'm gonna take that as sort of…an…agreement," Ms. Gregorian started. "After school today, you're going to meet with the Director and she'll tell you more about what you're doing for the club."

"Great…" I said as I grabbed my things and headed toward the door – assuming we were finished. I adjusted my bag on my shoulder, and reached for the doorknob, when the headmistress started to speak again:

"And Brenna…"

"…Do me a favor and try to enjoy this year, okay?" she asked with a tone that resembled pleading. Or maybe it was that sympathy thing again. I couldn't really tell…but she sounded somewhat genuine.

"Sure thing, Ms. Gregorian," I said as I headed out of her office, closing the door behind me.

I sat fidgeting in my seat – checking the clock impatiently every two minutes. 2:28PM. Almost time to go home. Wait…no. Crap! I forgot I have to go meet with someone for that stupid Community Outreach thing. Lost in my own thoughts, I completely missed the last bell of the day and the mad rush of students to the door who obviously cannot wait to get home. I would have to wait, though.

Probably audibly sighing, I left the classroom – stopping at my locker to put some stuff away and making my way to the courtyard.

I got there around 2:40PM and looked around for any signs of this supposed club but saw no one. Tired of standing after fifteen minutes or so, I sat down at a bench.

I think I'll give this person another ten minutes and if they don't show…I'm leaving.

Five minutes pass. Getting antsy, I take out Pride & Prejudice. We have to read it for English anyway – so might as well make use of this colossal waste of time so it's not…such a colossal waste of time…

Finally, a tap on the shoulder breaks me from my reading. Yeah, imagine that. I'm actually kind of into this book. Then again, I've only made it to page 8…

I look up to see a blonde standing before me. She looks oddly familiar. I mean, I'm sure I've seen her around school. That must be it.

"Greer," she says extending a hand out in front of her to shake my own, smiling a noticeably dimpled smile.

Oh. She's one of the Populars. **That's** how I know her. The Populars are a pretty big group of spoiled rich kids that go to Charton Academy. Granted, anyone who goes to Charton is probably pretty well-off but these are the most spoiled of them all. Their parents usually vacation in the Hamptons on a regular basis and hopping on a plane for a weekend in Venice is no big deal for most of them. I'm sure Greer was the same. I mean, she had the whole look. Blonde hair perfectly curled at the ends. Chanel bag on her right arm. Movado watch on the left. Gucci sunglasses resting atop her head.

I must have been lost in thought again because I was snapped back to reality when Greer very loudly cleared her throat.

Looking in front of me, her hand was still extended in front of her…waiting for that handshake I meant to give her like five minutes ago.

"Oh, sorry," I said as I shook her hand. "Brenna."

"I know who you are. Ms. Gregorian let me know you'd be helping out with the club for the next few months. Exciting!" she said cheerily.

This girl seems like she's way too bubbly for her own good. Ford would **so** be making fun of her right now.

"Uh, yeahh…" I said, trying my best to sound excited but I'm sure my face said otherwise. "Speaking of club…where is everyone else?"

"Oh…uh, funny story," she started to say. "I've been trying to drum up interest for it, but the club hasn't really been as successful as we hoped. And by that I mean…there are two people in the club. One of which is myself. And the other…is now you…"

"Don't I feel special?" I said rolling my eyes. "What am I gonna be doing anyway?"

"Well…nothing for today. I have tennis practice tonight so that won't work. But tomorrow night we can go to the soup kitchen on Boylston Street. There's a small space there the soup kitchen owners rent out every Tuesday night to serve the homeless hot meals. It's great since it's getting a little bit cooler now."

"Uh…okay. What time, though?" I asked.

"We start serving around 6PM so I think after school we should just head over there so we can set up and stuff."

"So…basically…I'm committing my whole night to this?"

"What…you got better things to do?"

Ordinarily I would've said yes but when I think about it – maybe I could stand to spend a little less time at home. It's been a little depressing as of late so maybe spending some time away from all that could be good for me. "I guess not," I replied.

"Great! Then after school tomorrow. It's a date!" she said. "Well, you know…not a date-date. But like...in an appointment…sense of the word."

"Uh…that hadn't really crossed my mind…"

"Well…awkward." she stammered. "I'm just gonna go then."

"See you tomorrow!" she yelled behind her as she hastily walked to the parking lot.

Well…that was interesting. I grabbed my coat and started to head home when I saw a car curving around the driveway. As it passed by, I noticed it was Greer's as she frantically waved from the driver's seat with a smile that was probably two miles too wide. I gave her a small wave back and looked after her car as she sped off.

A BMW. Figures.


	3. Should've Known

**Chapter 3 – Should've Known**

By the time I made it home it was around 4:30PM and I was starving. It was pretty dark in the house when I got in so I assumed that meant April was either still at work or out with Beth and Mom and Grams must be up to something of their own. Heading into the kitchen, I threw my bag down on a chair and started rummaging through the fridge for something to eat. You know, despite having Grams in the house to help out, our refrigerator was in serious need of a makeover. Or really…it just needed to be stocked with actual food. Maybe that's where Mom and her went – to the grocery store.

The matter at hand, though, was that my stomach was still rumbling – loud enough that you would think a small, very controlled, thunderstorm had swept over the kitchen. Leftover cold cuts, a stray tomato, and like three leaves of lettuce were probably the only things in our fridge that had yet to expire. A small and totally-unsatisfying sandwich it is, then.

As I started to make my sandwich I heard the front door close and the light chatter of two distinct voices. Turning around to see who it was, I wasn't surprised to see my mom and Grandma walking into the kitchen. Placing her purse down on the counter, Mom slumped into a chair. She looked worried and so did Grams.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked. She looked worriedly over at Grams and then back to me. It was as if she was debating whether to tell me the truth or let me live in my own blissful ignorance. Too late for that, though. I already knew something was up and frankly, I wanted to know. "Mom, come on. Just tell me."

"Uh, it's about April…" she started.

"Oh no…What happened?"

"She's back in the hospital, Bren."

"What? I thought she was in remission?" I begged. I looked back and forth between Mom and Grams hoping that somehow if I looked at them long enough one of them would tell me this wasn't really happening.

"Well, George said she is," Mom explained. "But, it seems like maybe she's not tolerating the chemotherapy as well as we thought and she hasn't been feeling well since this morning. A little bit after you left for school, she started feeling pretty sick so Grams and I took her to the hospital."

"Well, is she gonna be okay?" I asked with that familiar feeling of my face flushing as I struggled to hold back tears of frustration and helplessness. Life was so unpredictable these days and living in fear of times like this meant living in exhaustion.

"We think so, Bren," Mom said as she got up from her chair, coming around the kitchen island to pull me into a hug. "George said they'd spend the day running a few tests and maybe watch her for the next 2 days or so. We think she'll be okay."

"Does Beth know?" I asked, a little more relieved now.

"We let her know when we were on our way to the hospital so she met us there," she said. "I think she's going to stop by tomorrow afternoon too just to see how Ape's doing. Maybe you can go with her?"

"Yeah, I think that'd be good," I agreed. "I'll text Beth and see if we can go together or something."

"Good," said Mom as she kissed the top of my head. Patting me on the back she said, "Why don't you go try to get some work done, huh? We'll do dinner around 7 and maybe **then** you can tell Grams and me all about your first day of school."

"Sounds good," I said with a small smile. Grabbing my sandwich and bag, I headed upstairs to my room.

Throwing my bag down on the bed and my sandwich on my desk, I took out my phone to text Beth:

**Me:** Hey, are you going to visit April tomorrow?

**Beth:** You bet.

_Beth is typing…_

**Beth:** Why, what's up?

**Me:** Can I come with you?

**Beth: **Yeah, sure! How about I pick you up after school?

**Me:** Sounds great.

…

**Me:** And thanks, Beth.

**Beth:** Anytime, B.

Letting out a sigh of relief, I plopped down on my bed – reaching into my bag to pull out my book. Since tomorrow's going to be a busy day, I might as well try to get as much work done as I can tonight. Weird. I almost sound responsible…

Damn it! I totally forgot about the soup kitchen tomorrow! I should text Greer.

Wait…I don't have her number. Would Ford have her number?

Brenna, don't be stupid. Why would Ford of **all** people, have her number? I don't even know anyone who _would_ have her number.

Oh well, maybe I'll run into her at school tomorrow and let her know I'll be late. I mean, I probably won't even be _that_ late. I'll just head straight there after a stop at the hospital. No harm, there.

You know, maybe I'll check with Ford. You never know.

**Me:** Hey, do you have Greer's number?

**Ford:** Greer Danville?

**Me: **I mean…people don't really name their kids 'Greer' these days. So I'm thinking there's only that one…

**Ford:** Are you kidding? Think about who you're asking…

**Me:** Thought I would try anyway…

**Ford: **Why do you even need to talk to her? I can't imagine you have anything in common…

**Me:** Oh, just something for school. It's stupid. Don't worry about it.

Should've known.


	4. Stereotypes

**Chapter 4 - Stereotypes**

It was a warm day out and the breeze was just right. School just ended a few minutes ago and after stopping by my locker to drop some things off I came to the courtyard to wait for Beth to pick me up. I have yet to run into Greer and I haven't been able to tell her I'm going to be joining her late at the soup kitchen. I hope she's okay with that – I don't know how much longer I can wait before Beth gets here.

I took out my phone to check the time – 2:45PM. As I looked up from my phone, I heard a car approaching slowly. Oh, Beth…when are you finally going to upgrade from that beat-up old Volvo you drive around?

"Hey, Bren!" she called out the driver's side seat. "Hop in!"

"Hey, Beth," I said walking up to her window. "I was waiting to run into someone because it turns out we have to volunteer at a soup kitchen when you and I are done at the hospital. But, I haven't run into her yet."

"Well, do you have her number?" Beth asked.

"Uhhh….no," I started.

"Good one, B," Beth said somewhat impatiently. "Listen, we gotta go though. Ape has a procedure starting around 3:20 so if we're gonna get to see her at all we gotta go now, kiddo."

"Ugh, alright!" I said, annoyed. "I'll just make sure I don't get there too late."

I hopped in the car and fastened my seatbelt.

"Look, I can drop you off after we're done at the hospital," Beth said. "If we're super late, you can totally blame it on me!"

"I just might have to, you know," I agreed.

* * *

><p>Pulling up to the Visitors Lot outside of the hospital, I felt less nervous than I thought I would. Maybe at this point, I had gotten accustomed to the unpredictable changes in Ape's health that nothing caught me by surprise. Well…not all that much anyway.<p>

Beth's car tinkered into the last open spot in the lot and we headed through the sliding doors of the Main Building. I walked up to the Information Desk and said: "We're here to visit April Carver. What room?"

"She's in 931 in Unit 9B – the Oncology Ward," said the lady at the front desk. "Just take those elevators down the hall on the right up to the 9th floor and the signs will direct you there," she said pointing down the corridor.

"Great, thanks," I said looking around for where Beth was. Finding her still back at the sliding door chatting up the obviously attractive security guard, I rolled my eyes while smiling just the same. "Beth, stop hitting on him!" I yelled loud enough for everyone in the waiting room to hear.

Looking horrified, Beth said her quick goodbyes and ran right over to me: "Embarrassing, B! Why did you do that?!"

Pushing her towards the elevators we made our way up to the 9th floor.

'::ding:: _9__th__ floor'_, said the robotic voice of the elevator, as the doors swiped open to show us a carpeted hallway with light orange wallpaper. At least this hospital wasn't all that dreary. I'm sure the patients were thankful for a little splash of color here and there.

We found our way to Room 931 and entered slowly in case April was sleeping. Swinging the door open fully we saw April was asleep and she looked so exhausted. Beth looked my way with an empathetic smile as we pulled up chairs next to Ape's bed. Moving closer, April looked so weak and I hated to see her like this. I wish we could just rewind time. I wish we could go back to a point in our lives when April was healthy. A time when Dad was alive.

As we looked at April, she started to stir awake. Slowly opening her eyes she looked back and forth between us both with a mixture of surprise and happiness on her face. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Oh, come on, Ape," Beth said, "did you really think we were gonna let you hang out here alone? What kind of people do you think we are?"

"Only the best people ever," April laughed looking at Beth.

"How are you feeling?" I asked quietly.

April turned my way: "I'm doing okay, Bren. They said I could probably come home in like a day or two so don't worry about me. I'll be home before you know it! They're actually going to take me to another procedure soon that's supposed to take about 1 or 2 hours. I guess you guys are gonna head out then?"

"Well, we'll come down with you to wherever they're doing it," said Beth. "Once they get started we'll head out, but you got us for a few more minutes, girl."

As we chatted about the random goings-on of our lives, the Medical Transport team came by to take April down for her test. Placing a breathing mask over her nose and mouth, they unlocked the wheels of the hospital bed and we all headed out of the room. After we arrived at the procedure room, we watched behind a glass window as they set everything up and moved April to a long, skinny metal table with a lot of buttons and controls along the side. We didn't really know what this procedure was for and the doctors didn't really seem like they wanted to deal with our questions either. A few minutes passed, and they were ready to begin as one of the doctors nearby grabbed some numbing medication and a syringe to administer it. He gave her some medication and went back to his tray of tools to get ready for the rest of the procedure.

Beth and I looked back at April to see that her face had begun to change. She looked as if she was struggling to breathe and in the blink of an eye, her monitors started beeping as alarms on the machines were sounding left and right. In a second, nurses and doctors alike were frantically running around, wires were flying everywhere, and a technician was rolling in a large cart with all sorts of medications and equipment on it. I banged my fist on the glass window yelling for April but of course, she couldn't hear me.

A nurse came running out speaking a lot of words that, to me, just seemed like they were jumbled together and I couldn't make sense of any of it. She spoke quickly to Beth who nodded her head – seeming to understand something that I couldn't even hear as my mind was running a mile a minute. Beth grabbed my arms and swung me around to walk back to the waiting room but I resisted.

"No!" I yelled behind me as Beth pulled me away. "April! APRIL!"

* * *

><p>"Here, have some," Beth said as she sat down in a chair next to mine in the waiting room, offering me a cup of coffee that definitely did not smell like something I should be drinking. But hey…I guess I can't be too picky in a hospital. I took a sip and I was right. Making a face of utter disgust, I put the cup down next to me and stared back at a set of double doors – waiting for some doctor to come by and let us know how April was doing. We had been sitting here for three hours already! Beth looked just as worried as I was but she gave me a brave smile and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.<p>

In a few moments, a doctor came out and he was heading straight for us. "You're April's sister, yes?"

"Yeah, I'm Brenna."

"Um, if you wouldn't mind, I can only speak to family so-" he said looking at Beth.

"She is family. It's okay," I said looking over at her.

The doctor hesitated but continued, "So…she's doing okay right now and she's going to be okay."

"Oh, thank God," Beth said. "What happened?"

"Well, it turns out the physician giving her the numbing medication gave too much and she didn't react well to it," he began to explain. "Her heart went into an irregular rhythm and her blood pressure became very low. But we've since stabilized her and she's going to be okay – we just need to keep a close eye on her."

"Oh," I let out a sigh of relief though still mildly panicked. "Can we go in to see her?"

"Not yet, I'm afraid," he said. "They need a little more time."

"Bren, she sounds like she's doing okay now," Beth chimed in. "Why don't we call your mom to let her know what happened and she can stop by later tonight once April is back in her room?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," I said.

"Besides, don't we need to get you to that soup kitchen?" Beth reminded me.

Panic struck yet again: "Oh no! I completely forgot!" Glancing at my watch I saw it was already 7:00PM and the soup kitchen was going to stop serving in another hour or so. "We have to go, now! Greer's gonna kill me!"

Beth thanked the doctor for letting us know what had happened and we grabbed our things – running back to the car.

* * *

><p>By the time I had gotten to the soup kitchen it was already 7:30PM. I thanked Beth for dropping me off and assured her I would call a cab later to get home safely. As Beth sped off, I walked into the building feeling nothing short of ashamed that I was so late and certain that Greer would hate me because of this. First day on the job and I was already disappointing people. Walking in, I saw a number of people finishing their meals and putting on their coats to leave. I looked around the room to see if I could find Greer and sure enough she was behind the serving counter already wrapping things up. She saw me walking over to her and she immediately B-lined for the back of the kitchen. I opened the side-door to the kitchen and followed her back.<p>

"Hey, I'm really sorry," I started to say heading over to her. "Something came up and I didn't have your number so I couldn't tell you."

"Why does this not surprise me?" Greer asked rhetorically with an expression on her face that was almost certainly pure annoyance. "Something will always come up for people like you. It shouldn't surprise me that you wouldn't care about this. You're just doing this for the credits!"

"I do care about this!" I yelled. "I waited after school in the courtyard but you never showed! I tried to see you all day to let you know but I never ran into you!"

"Let me know what?" she snapped back. "That you were gonna bail on this like you usually bail on everything?"

"That's not fair," I said trying to remain as calm as possible. "You don't even know me!"

"You're right. I don't know you, but I know your type," Greer responded. "Ms. Gregorian warned me that you might not seem like the most committed person but she said to give you the benefit of the doubt. She said to be patient. So I did. And I was. But this is something else, Brenna."

"Listen, something came up okay?!" I pleaded. "If I could tell you more about it I would! But I can't, right now. Look, I didn't mean to make it seem like I don't care and I'm sorry that I left you to do all this by yourself," I said gesturing to the room we were in.

"Well, stupid me for hoping that you might actually try for once," Greer said in a resigned tone. "Whatever. You don't have to show up the next few months if you don't want to. I'll say you did and you'll get the credit. Everyone's happy." She grabbed some empty pots and utensils and stormed out of the kitchen.

"Greer!" I called after her. "I'm sorry!"

It was no use, she wouldn't hear me out anyway.

* * *

><p>I called a cab to pick me up in a few minutes and soon enough it pulled up to the curb outside of the soup kitchen. I made sure I had all my things and told the driver my address. By now, it was dark – the streets were only lit dimly by the lamps – and it was getting colder. For whatever reason, the drive home was taking a long time so I had plenty of time to think.<p>

I should've said why I was so late. I should've at least tried to explain it to her. Maybe she would've understood if she knew where I was. Ugh, those Populars are so judgmental! She was so quick to label me, to pin me down to a stereotype. She doesn't even know me! But then again, I should've said something. I don't know what it is about her, but she seems like someone I can trust. Well…she seemed that way before all the yelling and the blaming and the accusing…

"We're here!" said the driver. "Have a good night, young lady!"

I hopped out, gave him some cash, and walked up to my door.

Ugh, whatever. Tomorrow will be a new day.


	5. Hi

**Chapter 5 – Hi.**

I slammed my locker door shut and fiddled with the combination lock as a flash of blonde hair caught my attention from the corner of my eye. I looked over my shoulder and saw that it was Greer – walking past me with her head down, moving fast enough to make me wonder if she was avoiding me. I tugged on the lock quickly to make sure it was secure and ran after her.

"Hey, Greer!" I called after her, running to catch up to her and tugging on her arm to swing her around.

"What do you want?" she asked, annoyed and impatient. "It's fine. I get it. You don't care about this stuff."

"Uh, I just wanted to say I'm sorry again," I replied.

"Well, I can't really hear you out right now," she said.

"Come on, Greer. Just give me a chance to explain why I was so late yesterday," I begged. "I swear it was for a good reason."

"No, I mean I really can't stay here and listen to you because I have to get across the Quad to another class in…" she said hurriedly, pausing to look at her watch, "…five minutes ago."

"Oh, I mean you can get going then…sorry to hold you up," I said disappointedly.

Greer started to take off when she stopped and turned around to face me again and said: "After school's over. Courtyard. You can tell me what was so important." With that she ran off across the Quad as I watched her go.

Small victory for me.

* * *

><p>At the end of the day, Ford and I left 10th period together – still very confused about the homework assignment Mr. Dawson just gave us.<p>

"Hey, so you wanna go grab smoothies or something?" Ford asked me. "I mean, it's not like we were gonna do this assignment anyway…even if we **did** know what we were supposed to do."

I chuckled but replied, "Nah, I can't. I have to meet Greer in the courtyard."

"Wait, you guys hang out?" Ford asked with obvious shock on her face. "Climbing up the ranks or what? She's the exact type of person we loved to make fun of, Bren…"

"It's kind of a long story but we're not really hanging out," I answered. "She's sort of the person I report to for all that community outreach garbage I have to do. I just need to talk to her. That's all."

"Okay, well…I can wait for you," Ford suggested. "We can go after or something."

"No, that's okay," I said. "I think I'll just go home afterwards. My mom said April might be coming home tonight because she's been doing better today. I wanna be there if she does, though."

"Well, okay," said Ford. "But eventually we gotta hang out, Bren. I feel like I barely saw you all summer!"

"Yeah, we'll work something out," I agreed, smiling. "I gotta go though." With that, I waved goodbye to Ford and walked over to the courtyard. On my way over to the benches, I saw Greer was already sitting there. Huh. Maybe she _would_ listen to me this time.

"Hey," I said sitting down next to her. "Thanks for meeting me."

"Alright…" she started, "…what was so important that you had to miss basically the whole night at the kitchen?"

"I just have a lot going on right now," I explained. "My family's going through a tough time."

"Okay…" Greer responded – clearly unsure of what to say to me. Maybe she had questions, maybe she didn't care. I decided that I had to tell her what was going on – right now – or she would never believe me and the next few months would just end up being awkward and miserable. Besides, I needed this opportunity to work out. I needed **something** to distract me from all the stuff going on at home.

"My sister's sick," I started. "She has cancer and we found out about it a few months ago. She's been in remission for a little while now but yesterday she was back in the hospital. So, I went to go visit her. One of the doctors there gave her too much medication and she didn't respond so well to that. So…I totally lost track of time while I was waiting to hear how she was doing and whether she was okay. I'm super sorry that I showed up so late to the kitchen and that I basically was no help at all. I meant to tell you what was going on but didn't really have a way to..." I stopped rambling for a second to look up and see that Greer's expression had softened considerably.

"Wow," she said. "That was…a lot of information. I am **so** sorry about the things I said and I feel terrible, right now. I mean, obviously, I had no idea. And I'm sorry if you felt forced that you had to tell me all this. I definitely didn't give you a fair chance to explain. I think I was looking forward to finally having help with the club and then when you didn't show up last night I thought that meant this would be just another three months on my own. I'm so so sorr—"

"I'm sorry, too," I said cutting her off. "You were right to think those things about me because I haven't been the most reliable person this past year. But I really wanted this to work out because, honestly, I think I need some time away from the heaviness of home life right now."

"I can totally understand that," Greer said sympathetically. "I think we can both agree we started off on…all the wrong feet."

"Yeah, definitely," I said, smiling at her. I caught myself gazing into her ocean-blue hued eyes just a few seconds too long and quickly looked down at my hands in my lap before saying: "So…how about we start over, then?"

"What'd you have in mind?" she asked.

* * *

><p>We were making our way to my favorite coffee shop – within walking distance from school and on the way home. On the walk over, I told Greer a little bit more about April and even about Dad's death. Honestly, it felt really good to share this stuff with someone. Talking to Greer wasn't like talking to Ford. When I told Ford about April's sickness she was definitely supportive in the moment but compassion probably isn't one of Ford's greatest strengths. She never really asks how April's doing and never really seems all that open to listen to me talk about what's going on with my family anyway. With Greer it's different. She listens.<p>

"So, 99 Café, huh?" Greer asked as we stepped into the store. "This is your favorite coffee place?"

"I guess it's _one_ of my favorites," I reasoned as we walked up to the line of people waiting to place their orders. "I love that it's just a walk from school and on the way home. For me, at least."

"It looks a little busy, right now," Greer observed. "Why don't I order for us and you find a table to sit at?"

"Good thinking," I said. "Pumpkin spice latte and I'll get on finding that table!"

Towards the back of the shop I found that my favorite spot was open. A small wooden table with two seats, placed right in front of a bay window with a ledge large enough to sit on – complete with cushions and pillows for that comfy atmosphere I love so much about this place. Sitting on the ledge, I pulled out my phone and saw a text from Mom: 'April is coming home tonight!' Greer must have seen me smiling to myself as she came over with our drinks because she playfully teased: "Hey, I always thought you were supposed to be a dark and brooding person. What are all the other brooders gonna say when they see you smiling?"

Chuckling, I excitedly said, "Well, it turns out April is coming home tonight!"

"That's great news!" Greer exclaimed. "I'm glad she's doing okay."

"Yeah, me too," I agreed. "I hope things start going a little more smoothly for her. But…enough about my life! You know, I have to confess I think I was as judge-y about you as you were about me."

"Yeah? How so?" she asked.

"Well…for one…you're one of the popular kids," I said. "I always see you around with Amy and Bobby and let's be real…they throw parties in their mansion-esque homes like every weekend. They're practically made of money!"

"I mean, yeah, I guess that's kind of true," she said. "But we're not all like that, you know."

"Sorry," I said, ashamed I was judging her yet again. "Tell me about you."

"Well, I guess you could say my parents are pretty well-off," she started. "And yeah…maybe we do live in a mansion-esque kind of home. But, my parents aren't around too often – so my house gets pretty lonely. They travel for work a lot, so a lot of the time, it's just me and whatever cash they leave me with for that week."

I looked at her differently now than I _had_ - every time I had seen her before – and realized how wrong I had been. I felt so guilty for assuming so much when I **thought** I knew her. I asked, "So why is community service so important to you?"

"My parents want me to get into a prestigious school, go on to some fancy law school, and get a job at some top law firm," Greer started to say. "They have this whole plan for me and they've always been about being at the top – even if that means stepping on some people to get there. I don't want to be like that. Doing community outreach work is like constantly reminding myself to be grateful of where I am in life and to make sure not to forget the amazing people I've met along the way – even if they're not millionaires or billionaires. I've learned so much from the people I've met through this club and I'm hoping this experience makes me a better person for it when I'm older."

"Wow," I said.

"That's it?" Greer asked. "Just wow? I pour my heart out to you and…wow?"

"Uhhh, I was just—" I started to say but she cut me off:

"Relax, Brenna. I was just kidding." She smiled and took another sip of her coffee.

Time just kept on passing as we talked about a whole host of random things from our friends at school to our dream jobs.

"I'm glad we did this, Greer."

"Yeah, me too, Brenna. So…I guess this means you gotta get going, right?"

I took a look down at my watch to see that it was already 7:00PM! Geez, where did the time go?

"Geez, where did the time go?" Greer asked looking at her own watch.

"Exactly what I was thinking!" I said. "But yeah, I gotta get going since April will probably be back soon."

We both got up from the window ledge, dropped some change in the Tips jar, and made our way outdoors.

"Right, so…I guess this is where we part ways," I said awkwardly.

Do I shake her hand? Do I just stand here smiling? Do I give her a hug? Are we friends now? This is weird…

"Right, yeah," said Greer. "I will…see you in school tomorrow, I guess?"

"Not if I see you first!" I yelled. That was a weird thing to say…so I laughed nervously.

"Uhh…right," Greer laughed. "Okay…see ya." She spun around and headed back toward the school while I turned in the other direction.

Wait! I forgot!

"Greer!" I called after her so that she stopped walking and turned back around. "I totall—"

"617-354-3564", she said smiling as I struggled to type as fast as she was telling me the numbers. "Maybe we can avoid some future misunderstanding…"

"Right," I said. "See ya."

We parted ways for the second time tonight and as we did I took out my phone again.

Heading back toward the school to pick up her car from the parking lot, Greer heard her phone chime – letting her know she got a new message. It was from Brenna.

It read: 'Hi. =)'


	6. Mac-n-Cheese

**Chapter 6 – Mac-n-Cheese**

Coming up to the steps of my house, I saw the lights were on in the living room. Could April be home already? I turned the doorknob and swung open the door, yelling, "Mom? I'm home!"

Mom and Grams came over from the kitchen to greet me and Mom said, "Hi, Bre—" before I heard:

"BRENNA!" April yelled as she ran past Mom and Grams – practically knocking them over – to wrap me up in one of the most suffocating hugs she's given me in a while. I'm glad she's getting her strength back, but I could use a tiny bit more breathing room…

"I'm glad you're back, Ape," I said – smiling, eyes closed, and resting my chin on her shoulder.

Breaking the hug, April said, "Me too, kid. Now, let's go eat!" April threw my bag on the couch in the living room and dragged me into the kitchen as we started setting the table for dinner. As a welcoming home for April, it was mac-n-cheese night in the Carver household and I couldn't have been more thankful.

As April and I were setting out plates and glasses, Mom asked, "So how come you're just getting home now, Bren?"

"I was just getting some coffee with someone from school at 99 Café," I explained. "You know, that little shop a few blocks down Ivy Street."

"Ohhhhh, hot date?!" asked April raising her eyebrows.

"Uh, no," I said. "Just hanging out with some girl from school."

"Oh," started April. "So…..hot date?!"

"Shut up," I said rolling my eyes. "I joined her club so I can make up some credits. I wanna avoid having to do schoolwork next summer at **all **costs."

"Maybe you'll learn something, Bren," said Mom. "People can surprise you, you know."

"Yeah yeah," I said. "Are we just gonna stand here talking or are we gonna eat?"

Grams pulled a huge dish out of the oven. You could see the steam coming off the food – even hear the cheese bubbling. I think this might be the first dinner we've had in a while that lasts longer than 15 minutes. And I was pretty happy about that.

* * *

><p>After dinner, I washed my dishes much to Mom's surprise, grabbed my backpack and ran up to my room to get started on my homework. Wow. Doing my homework. I'm not sure where this newfound sense of motivation came from but it kind of makes me feel good.<p>

I had just sat down at my desk and opened up my textbook when April came into my room.

"Hey, Ape," I said as she sat down on the edge of my bed, leaning on the frame at the foot of it. "What's up?"

"Bren," she began, "Do you talk to anyone?"

"I mean, I **do **have friends, April," I said. "I have Ford and, you know, others. We hang out and stuff."

"No, I mean…Do you have anyone to talk to about things like Dad…and me?" April asked.

"Uh…," I started. "Well, I started to talk about some of that stuff with Greer today. You know, the girl I said I was hanging out with earlier. I mean, it felt good to share that kind of stuff with someone."

"I'm glad, Bren," she said. "Just make sure you're talking to someone. Someone you trust. Someone who actually listens to you. I know things have been pretty hard for us all this past year. You can always come to me, Mom, Grams, and even Beth if you want to. I'm not saying you have to. I'm just saying…don't lock everything inside. You don't have to put on a brave face _all _the time."

"I know, April," I said – trying to assure her that I was doing okay. "I'll be fine."

"Okay, Bren" she said. The look on her face suggested she wasn't really believing what I was saying. I guess her worry comes from a good place, though. She got up from the bed to give me another hug and I thought again how grateful I was she's home. "I'm wiped, so I'm gonna head to bed early. Good night, bud."

"'Night, Ape," I said as she left.

I picked up my pen and started reading my textbook again when I heard my phone chime from the end table next to my bed. Getting up to see who the message was from, I was surprised it was from Greer. I sent her my first text like forever ago.

**Greer:** Hi. =)

**Me:** Lol…it took you all night to come up with that?

**Greer:** Hey…this level of cleverness takes time.

**Me:** I think maybe you needed a little more time…

**Greer:** Haha, so much sass…

_Greer is typing…_

**Greer:** Anyway…I just wanted to say thanks for before.

**Me:** Showing you the coffee shop or…all that touchy-feely crap?

**Greer:** I mean…the coffee was pretty good…

_Greer is typing…_

**Greer:** But thanks for sharing, I mean.

**Me:** Well, thanks for listening.

A few minutes passed but she didn't text me back. My thumbs hovered over my phone's screen as I debated whether I should text her again but then there it was… ::_phone chimes::_

**Greer:** I should probs get more work done before tomorrow.

**Me:** Yeah, same here. See you at school?

**Greer:** Not if I see you first. =P

It's _still_ embarrassing the second time around.


	7. The Lie

**Chapter 7 – The Lie**

October 21st. Tuesday.

I've been back at school for almost one-and-a-half months now and this year wasn't off to the terrible start I thought it would be. April was doing pretty well so far and she was back at work – more or less – full-time. The Carver household lately has just seemed…I don't know. Happier, almost. The days didn't seem so dark anymore. Although…we _were_ actually running out of physical daylight as winter was approaching. Ugh…I dread the days when sunset is at 5:00PM.

I've been spending more time with Greer these past few weeks. You know, every week, I've actually looked forward to our community service projects. Just last week we brought a bunch of therapy dogs to a local nursing home so that the residents there could interact with them. Greer said playing with the dogs helps people, emotionally. I mean, those dogs were ridiculously adorable so I guess I can buy that. By the way, Greer is **still** too bubbly for her own good. It suits her, though.

Aside from hanging out during these service projects, we've also been hanging out at the 99 Café quite a bit. Obviously _only_ sitting in my favorite spot, of course. But we've talked about so much these past few weeks and I **still** feel as if there's so much to learn about her and her life. I've even told her so much about _my_ life. At least April will be happy about that.

It was definitely getting colder in Boston these days and my little blue sweater was just not enough. Good thing I keep an extra coat in my locker – even if it does smell of locker-must. It's entirely possible I haven't worn it in a year…As I closed my locker door, I saw Ford coming up behind me.

"Okay," she started, "…so what are you doing this Saturday night?"

"Uhh—," I began.

"Trick question," she replied. "We're going out on Saturday night with two _incredibly_ hot guys!"

"Uhh—," I repeated. "Ford, I don't really—"

"Oh, come on, Bren," she pleaded. "We seriously haven't hung out since school started. I **just** met this guy John and both he _and_ his brother are free Saturday night. And it's Saturday night! What else could you be doing anyway?"

"Uhh—"

"Don't worry, I pre-screened his brother and he's actually pretty cute," she continued. "Though why anyone would keep pictures of their brother on them is beyond me…but…don't worry about that."

Realizing she probably wasn't going to drop this I gave in, "Fine…I guess I'm not doing anything else anyway." I couldn't really describe it, but I just wasn't feeling this whole date-night thing. Oh well, maybe it'll turn out better than I expect.

"Great! So…movie at 8…and we're gonna do dinner after at the diner down the street," she said. "I'll come get you at like 7:30?"

"Yeah, sure," I said. "But for now…I'm gonna head home. My mom told me to pick up some stuff from the grocery store on the way back so I gotta go do that. I'll see you tomorrow, though." Waving goodbye to Ford, I crossed the street and headed off to the grocery store.

* * *

><p>Finally putting away the last of the groceries, I grabbed a cupcake from the batch Grams had just made and headed up to my room to do some work until Mom came home. Starting to peel away at the foil wrapper, I heard my phone buzz on my desk. Who's calling me on a Tuesday night? Who even calls each other these days? Huh…it was Greer.<p>

"Hey!" I said into the phone. "Why are you calling me?"

"Oh," said Greer on the other end. She sounded a little taken aback by my question.

"Not that you can't call me…I just thought it was weird. Not that I think a call from you is weird. Who even calls each other these days? I mean, really…Feel free to say something so I can stop this rambling that I'm doing…"

"Haha," she laughed into the phone. "I was just calling, weirdly or not, to see what you were doing on Thursday night?"

"Uhhh—", I started to say. "I have a feeling you're about to tell me…"

"Well, if you're free…," she began, "…do you wanna come watch my tennis match? Charton is playing Armstrong's varsity team Thursday and it's one of our bigger matches in the season. So…if you'd wanna come, there is…_plenty_ of room on the bleachers."

"Yeah, I'd love to!" I said excitedly.

"Yay, awesome!" she cheered. "I'll text you the address and my match probably won't start until like 6, so I'd say get there around then?"

"Totally! Though I do have one condition…"

"Yeah? What's that?" she asked.

"Don't suck."

"Haha, " she laughed, "…no promises."

* * *

><p>I heard the front door open and close and assumed Mom had come back.<p>

"MOM!" I yelled as I bolted down the stairs.

"Brenna! WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?" she called in response as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh, sorry, Mom," I said. "Can I borrow the car Thursday evening?"

"Why, may I ask?"

"Well, Greer's tennis match against Armstrong is that night and she asked me if I wanted to go. Obviously, I do. So…can I have the car, please please please?" I begged.

Mom smiled at me and said, "Sure, Bren."

"Great!" I said cheerily as I walked into the kitchen to start setting the table for dinner.

"Well…_you_ seem like you're in a good mood," Mom said. "When are we gonna meet Greer, anyway? You guys have been hanging out a lot lately but she hasn't come over to the house yet…"

"Uh, maybe soon…" I said. "I'll ask her sometime."

"I mean, you start hanging out with this girl and you go to these community service outings with a real smile on your face," Mom said. "I don't think that's a coincidence."

"Maybe," I said smiling – _also_ realizing that it probably wasn't a coincidence.

* * *

><p>October 23rd. Thursday.<p>

I drove up to Armstrong's tennis courts around 5:45PM and parked the car – looking around for a familiar face. I guess…looking for **one** familiar face in particular. Too far away to really be able to tell people apart, I decided to walk up to the courtside bleachers. Getting closer, I saw all the players were out on the court warming up. Placing my keys in my pocket and grabbing a seat on the bleachers next to what seemed like a bunch of players' parents, I started to scan the courts for Greer. After a solid minute of searching, I finally found her warming up on the second court out from the stands. She looked over my way and waved wildly. There was that dimpled smile again.

In a few minutes they finished with warm-ups and a successful coin-toss earned Greer the chance to serve first. First serve: ace. Second serve: ace. It was already 30-Love in the first game and it had only been like two minutes. This Armstrong girl was getting a butt-whoopin' and I was sort of, kind of, **totally**…impressed.

The match was over in an hour-and-a-half and Greer hadn't lost a _single_ game. She shook hands with her opponent and came off the courts to greet me.

"Congratulations!" I said excitedly, giving her a hug. From the moment I wrapped my arms around her, my heart began to flutter. The butterflies in my stomach moved with reckless abandon – flitting around as if disturbed from their slumber. I hadn't really felt this way before and I wasn't sure why I was now. Not knowing what to do with myself, I broke our embrace somewhat abruptly and a brief look of confusion registered on Greer's face.

Her look of bewilderment passed all too soon as she said, "Thanks! I'm glad you could make it!"

"Yeah, no problem," I said. "So…does this mean you're going on to the state tournament?"

"Yeah!" she said joyfully. Looking over at the bleachers though, her face grew sad. "I wish my parents were here, though…"

"Hey, I'm sure they'd be here if they could," I said.

"Yeah," she said sadly.

"But…**I'm** here and that's pretty cool, right?!" I asked pointing to myself, trying to make her laugh.

"You bet," she agreed laughing.

Success.

"Really though, Bren," she started, "…thanks for coming to cheer me on."

"I mean…it kinda looked like you didn't need it," I said. "You never told me you were some all-star tennis player!"

"Well I can't go and tell you **all** my secrets right off the bat, can I?" she teased.

"Guess not," I said laughing – staring down at my feet for a few seconds as we approached that all-too-familiar point in our conversation where things get awkward. "I should get going soon, though…"

"Yeah, me too," she agreed.

"Oh! I forgot!" I exclaimed. "My mom totally wants to meet you. Something about you being a good influence on me…or something."

"What about you?" she countered playfully. "Do **you** think I'm a good influence on you?"

"…I'm not gonna answer that," I teased. "So…meeting my mom at some point…yes or no?"

"Definitely," she said smiling.

"Good," I said smiling back as I let my eyes linger a little bit longer looking into hers. Wait a minute…is she blushing?

"So…I wanted to ask you," she began, "…are you doing anything Saturday night?"

_I'm going to be on a date,_ I thought. "Uh, I think I'm shopping with my mom actually…", I lied.

Wait…why did I lie?

"Oh," she said sounding somewhat disappointed. "No problem…it wasn't important."

"Okay-," I said, wondering if I should pursue that further but ultimately deciding not to. "I'll see you around school, then."

"Yup, around school," she said.

As usual, we parted ways and I couldn't help but wondering…

Why did I lie?


	8. Date Night

**Chapter 8 – Date Night**

Saturday night.

Date night.

The closer and closer we got to this night, the more I dreaded it. The closer we got to it, the guiltier I felt about lying about it to Greer. Why couldn't I just tell her the truth? Why couldn't I just say the words: "Ford and I are going out with two guys." No big deal. Because…it's not a big deal, right?

So…if it wasn't a big deal…why did I lie? I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

But why _would_ it hurt her feelings? She wouldn't care, right? Because if she cared – what would that mean? Well, what did it mean that **I** cared about her getting hurt or not? What did it mean that **I **cared if **she** cared? I don't know. Maybe I do know.

Thinking about this was giving me a headache so I snapped out of my Greer-related daze of confusion and checked the clock on my nightstand. Crap! It was already 7:20PM and Ford texted me that she was going to be here in another ten minutes. Still wearing a pair of April's old sweatpants and a ratty old t-shirt filled with more holes than a slice of swiss cheese, I started rummaging through my dresser for something that screamed something slightly better than the "hobo chic" I was currently rocking. Finding a pair of black skinny jeans and a black top with an embroidered collar, I ran into the bathroom to put them on and threw on some eyeliner. I could probably stand to put a little more effort into my appearance right now, but whatever. I grabbed my purse and flew down the stairs to the front door.

"Bye, Mom!" I called haphazardly, reaching for the doorknob.

"Wait, Brenna!" my mom called from the kitchen, coming over to the foyer. "Who are you going out with, again?"

"Ford and these two guys she met," I began to say, realizing that sounded shadier than I anticipated. "Don't worry, she knows them sort of and they don't seem like psychopaths or anything."

"Well, that's reassuring," she said sarcastically. "Just be safe okay?"

Handing me my coat and planting a kiss on my forehead she said, "No later than 11, okay? I'm going out to dinner with George and if I'm not home when you come back, just text me when you do so I know you're okay."

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Fine fine." Pausing for a second I realized what she had just said and continued, "Wait…dinner with Uncle George?"

"Uhhh—," Mom started to answer.

"Nevermind," I said cutting her off as I glanced at my watch. "Definitely do **not** have the time to ask about that now."

With that, I swung open the front door and stepped out just as Ford pulled up.

"Get in, Bren!" she yelled from the driver's seat as she swung open the passenger's side door. As I got into her car she said, "They're gonna meet us at the theatre in a few."

"Oh, joy," I said in an attempt to convey some measure of excitement but obviously failing to do so.

"Come on, Bren. It'll be fun!"

I'm not so sure 'fun' was the right word.

* * *

><p>We pulled up to the theatre around 7:45PM and parked in the lot. Dreading the night ahead of me, I dragged my feet slowly as we walked to the curb outside the theatre – waiting for the boys to get there. A few minutes passed and two boys about our age walked up to greet us.<p>

The brown-haired one started: "Hey, I'm John".

"And I'm Brett," said the sandy-haired one, smiling. I mean, I guess he's kinda cute. But still…

Seeing that I wasn't really engaging in conversation, Ford nudged me in the arm and said, "And this is Brenna…", hoping that would spark some sort of conversation on my end. Looking at her, she was giving me the _'At least pretend you're interested'_ stare and so I finally decided to speak up:

"Hey," I said – smiling my best fake smile. I mean…this smile was Oscar-worthy. "How about Ford and I go get the tickets and some seats and you guys get the popcorn?" If I was going to play nice, I better be getting some free popcorn out of it.

"Sounds great!" said Brett excitedly. "We'll find you inside."

Ford flashed them a quick smile and before I knew it, I was being pushed past the cashier and the ticket-checker and toward Theatre 5.

"What is **wrong** with you?!" Ford whispered…loudly. "I really like John. Could you at least _pretend_ to be interested in Brett?"

"I _am _pretending!" I whispered back.

"Well, tell your face that!" she continued to whisper.

"**SHHHHH**!" said about ten people as we soon realized we had entered a packed theatre with the previews already showing.

"Sorry!" I shouted to them as I dragged Ford to the last row in the back. Sitting down I said, "Besides…you _just_ met him. How much could you really like him, anyway?"

Before Ford could finish rolling her eyes at me, John and Brett were back with the popcorn and sodas. Sitting down on either side of the two of us, it was starting to feel a little stuffy in here. As the previews ended and the theatre lights dimmed a bit more, Brett put his arm around my shoulder. Sighing audibly, I glared over at Ford.

You know, it was the kind of glare that said _'You __**so**__ owe me for this'_ but also, and more importantly, _'Remind me to kill you'_.

Yeah. This night wasn't the best, so far.

* * *

><p>9:30PM. You know, that movie wasn't all that bad. I could've done with different company, though…<p>

Leaving the theatre, we all walked out into the chilly night air. It _was_ late October, after all. As we made our way out the entrance, Ford and John sped up to walk together – leaving Brett and I to either make small talk or live in the painful, awkward silence behind them. We chose the latter, of course. The silence was broken within a few minutes, though.

"Shopping, huh?" asked a familiar voice behind me. Oh no. I had to turn around…but I didn't want to. Please don't let it be…

**Greer**. Oh no. That feeling of panic was starting to set in and I wanted to explain but I didn't even know where to begin.

"Uh, Brett," I started, "Why don't you walk up ahead and I'll catch up to you guys?" He nodded and walked off.

There she was. Standing in front of me on the night she had asked me if I was doing anything – to which I wrongfully answered that I was shopping…with my mom. What do I do? Do I begin by apologizing? Do I even have to apologize? Well I do…because I lied. But if she didn't care…then no big deal, right? I mean, at the very least, she knew I wasn't shopping…

"Greer!" I said, thinking I could buy time if I started with the most obvious things at hand. "You're here…"

"…And…so are you, Brenna," she said in response. I thought she would have more to say but instead she just stared at me – fairly devoid of emotion.

"Uhhh…what'd you watch?" I asked, still not addressing the very large and unavoidable elephant in the room – or on the sidewalk, for that matter.

"The same movie as you, Bren," she said again with that cold, unfeeling stare. You know, over the past few weeks I thought I had gotten pretty good at reading Greer. Right now, though, I had **no clue** what she was thinking. Maybe I didn't want to know, either.

"You came here alone?" I asked, still trying to stall the inevitable, but noticing there was no one else with her.

"No, I came with Amy and Bobby and they'll be out in a second," she said very frankly with a tone of formality I had never heard in her voice before. "You seemed pretty cozy with your friend, though…"

There it was. She saw us in the theatre and this hole I had dug for myself just continued to get wider.

"Oh, he's just—," I started to explain.

"Don't worry about it," she said with a hint of finality. "You don't have to explain anything to me."

"Look, it's no big thing," I tried to reason. "Ford just wanted to—"

"Really, it's fine," she repeated. "You should go catch up to them."

"Greer, I'm—", I began as Ford came back to see what had held me up – or rather, who.

"Why don't you ditch the rich girl, Brenna?" she suggested matter-of-factly pointing toward Greer. "It's not like you're even friends with her, right? Why **would** you be? You can deal with your stupid club stuff on Monday. Not that you even care about that, though…"

I looked at Ford in disbelief that she could be so rude to Greer. Looking at Greer, I saw the hurt in her eyes and the tears about to fall. Ford was wrong. We _are_ friends. I _do _care. I wanted to stick up for Greer but words had failed me. I wanted to fix this but I couldn't think of what to say and had struggled for so long that the only thing I could come up with is, "Uhh—".

I looked at Greer with what I'm sure was some mixture of sadness and embarrassment on my face but I still couldn't find a way to say what I had wanted to. I couldn't find a way to apologize for the lie…and now for Ford. I couldn't find a way to defend her and my opportunity for chivalry had quickly passed.

As she stared back at me and then to Ford, I saw the first teardrop fall. And just like that – she was walking away from us.

"Greer!" I called after her, hoping she would turn around.

"Whatever, Bren," said Ford, as she started to drag me towards the diner. "Let her go."

I think it's pretty obvious that this night had just gone from bad to worse and the one person I _really _wanted to talk to had just walked away from me.

* * *

><p>John was going on and on about some football scholarship he had just been granted over at Hillard Academy somewhere across Boston and frankly, I couldn't care less. Truthfully, I hadn't been listening to a majority of what he was saying but Ford seemed to be fawning over him just the same. I was much more interested in pushing the food on my plate around with my fork in hopes that it would look more appetizing. Still, nothing was going to distract me from what just happened and how terribly I felt about it all.<p>

"Hey, you okay?" asked Brett, sitting across from me.

"Um, actually…" I began, taking my napkin from my lap and throwing it on the placemat in front of me. "…I'm not feeling too well, so I'm gonna get going."

Putting a twenty-dollar bill on the table I said, "It was nice meeting you both," and grabbed my coat to head out – leaving too fast for Ford to stop me. Then again, she was otherwise engaged at the moment.

Wow. My first step outside and it felt as if a sheet of ice had hit me square in the face. It was as if the temperature had dropped fifteen degrees more while we were inside. Thankfully, I was pretty close to home so that the walk back was short enough that I wouldn't lose my nose to frostbite but long enough for me to think about how awful a friend I was to Greer. There was plenty of time to stew over what I could've, would've, and should've said and then to feel terrible about not getting to say any of it.

More importantly, I had time to think about **why** I felt so bad. It goes beyond just the lie and the incident with Ford.

Obviously, I care about Greer – but I care about her more than I thought I did.

And I'm pretty sure I know why.


	9. Tea-Time

**Chapter 9 – Tea-Time**

Finally, I had reached my house on the walk back from the diner and I could escape the unrelenting cold. What I couldn't escape though, was how miserable I still felt.

Dropping my purse by the door and then hanging my coat on a hook nearby, I noticed a light was on in the kitchen. Maybe Mom was back and she was waiting up for me?

Walking into the kitchen, I was surprised to find April at the stove preparing a pot of tea and Beth sitting on a stool by the kitchen island. It was only 10:30PM on a Saturday night and they were sitting around drinking tea?

"You guys are home at 10:30 on a Saturday night? What's the deal?" I asked them both, grabbing a mug for my own cup of tea.

"Eh, we decided to just go out to dinner tonight. You know, keep it low-key," Beth answered. "Can't hit up the bar every night, you know…"

"Nahhh, I'm pretty sure you can," I said laughing.

"Well…why are _you_ home so early, Bren?" asked April. "Weren't you on a double date or something?"

"Whattttt?!" asked Beth excitedly. "Spill!"

"It wasn't a big deal," I said sadly, thinking about what happened with Greer. "Ford just met these two guys and was pretty into one of them so I got roped into it to keep his brother company."

"I guess you weren't feeling it?" asked Beth.

"_Definitely_ not," I answered.

April and Beth stared at me for a bit. I guess they were debating what to say next because I'm certain I was doing a terrible job of hiding the shame, guilt, and misery from crossing my face.

"Bren, did something happen?" asked April, grabbing another stool to join me and Beth at the island.

I mean, I loved Ape and Beth – so if I was going to ask anyone for advice it was going to be them. Things couldn't get any worse than they already are, anyway. Talking to them could only help.

"You know that girl I told you about? Greer?" I began as April nodded along.

"Whoa, whoa," said Beth, interrupting me. "Rewind. Who's this chick?"

"Ugh, okay," I said exasperatedly, realizing I would have to give them a little bit more to go on. "So, there's this girl in my class named Greer. She's super popular and preppy and like the total opposite of the kind of person I would hang out with."

"So…not Ford," said April.

"Yeah, basically," I said rolling my eyes. "So, anyway, we've been hanging out a lot lately – like, in the past few weeks. That club I joined is hers and it's the one I'm involved in to make up for those credits at school. I completely judged her in the beginning and she totally judged me but after a rocky start, we've actually gotten to know each other pretty well. I went to one of her matches on Thursday night and she asked me if I was doing something _tonight_. I'm not sure why, but I lied about the date and said I was shopping with Mom…"

"Okay, go on," urged Beth.

"So, we all went to a movie," I began, "…and it turns out Greer happened to be at the same one, in the same theatre. So…she saw us all leaving and stopped me on our way over to dinner. I felt so bad about lying to her but I couldn't come up with something to say. I didn't know how to apologize. And then…stupid Ford came over and basically shoved in Greer's face how Greer and I would **never** be friends and how I didn't care about the club and all that. And I felt even _worse_! I **still** couldn't think of what to say to stick up for her and then she just left, crying."

"Bren, you gotta apologize," said Beth.

"Well, Bren…why did you even lie in the first place?" asked April.

"I don't know, Ape!" I said, frustrated. "I didn't wanna hurt her feelings. I didn't want her to know I was ditching her to go on a date with some random guys. I care about her. A lot. And I just didn't want—"

"Whoa whoa, slow down," said Beth. "Why would she care about you going on a date? It's what people do…Why would **you ** care if _she_ cared about you going on a date?"

There were those questions again. Those same questions I had asked myself…but now here they were out in the open – demanding an answer in real-time. April and Beth continued to stare at me, waiting for me to say something but my brain was struggling to make a confession that once I made I couldn't take back.

I had to say it.

"I think I like her," I said to both of them, waiting for a response as I looked back and forth between them.

"Well…there we are," said Beth taking a sip of her tea.

"So tell her," said April without missing a beat. "Tell her you like her. Tell her that's why you lied. Apologize for Ford's stupidity. If you really like her, you gotta fix this, Bren."

"I know that, Ape," I said, sighing. "But…I don't know if she feels the same way."

_::RINGGGG::_, the phone went. I jumped a bit as it started to ring and April sprang up to grab it. Oh, crap! It was Mom! I totally forgot to text her…

"Yeah yeah, she got home a little while ago," said April into the phone. "Beth's over and we're all just having some tea right now. Don't worry about it. Are you gonna be home soon?" I could hear Mom on the other end saying she'd be home in a bit and soon after April had said her goodbyes she hung up.

Putting down the phone, April came back over and said, "Listen, Bren. If you really like this girl you gotta tell her. Maybe she feels the same way and maybe she doesn't."

"But maybe taking the risk in putting your heart out there is what you need, Bren," said Beth. "What do you like about her?"

There were so many reasons and I didn't even know where to begin. "I like that I can talk to her about anything, anytime. I like that she listens to me and I like listening to her when we talk about _whatever_ we talk about. I like spending time with her and getting to know her. I expected to hate her because we're such different people but that's probably why I like her _even_ more. I just feel happier when I'm around her." I stopped talking to look over at April and Beth who were both smiling at me and I began to blush – burying my face in my hands.

"Aww, this is adorable, Bren," said Beth. "In fact, **I'm **about to call her and tell her you like her."

"Yeah, please don't," I said, panic-stricken.

"In all seriousness though, Bren," began April, "…You should tell her. Maybe she feels the same way but you'll never know if you don't try. And if you like her this much, it's worth it to try."

"Yeah," I said nervously. "I guess I'll text her or something and see if we can talk."

"Anyway, thanks for the tea guys," I said heading upstairs to my room. "Wish me luck!"

"Adorable!" whispered Beth as I walked up the stairs, still within earshot.

"Shut up, Beth!" I called down the stairs playfully.

Making my way to my room, I took out my phone to text Greer.

**Me:** I'm really sorry about tonight, Greer.

I paused not knowing what to say next or how much to say. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally typed:

**Me: **Can we talk?

I'm not sure if I was expecting her to respond instantaneously but I lay on my bed for a good fifteen minutes just staring at my phone's screen – waiting for something, anything. After some time, I decided to change into sweatpants and a long-sleeve shirt to get ready for bed. Maybe if I gave her a few more minutes, she'd answer? Maybe she was busy?

After getting ready for bed, I decided to check my phone one last time. Maybe I didn't hear the phone chime or buzz while I was in the bathroom? That was possible.

Hoping to see a text message – I saw nothing.

Maybe...she hated me.


	10. 99 Cafe

**Chapter 10 – 99 Café**

The school day was over. It was already the first week of November and Halloween had come and gone. Ford asked me if I had wanted to come along to someone's Halloween party but still mad – unbeknownst to her – for what she did…I decided not to go. I instead spent the night handing out candy with April and Beth at home which, in retrospect, is probably the lamest thing I could have done. If you ask Ape and Beth, though, they'd probably tell you I drove away all the trick-or-treaters with my moping and brooding.

It had been a while since I sent that text to Greer asking if we could talk – and no answer. I walked around school hoping to run into her but she was probably avoiding me like the plague. And who could blame her? I really messed up and frankly, I deserved the cold shoulder.

We hadn't met for our club last week because the soup kitchen was fighting off a cockroach infestation and I'm sure Greer was happy about that. I mean, not about the cockroaches but she was probably happy she didn't have to see me.

**BUT**…we had another session today. Today's wasn't like the others because we didn't actually have a project planned. Instead, we had a meeting with Ms. Gregorian to report back on how the club was going, how our projects had fared, and to discuss funding moving forward. Boring administrative stuff, obviously. As with any other club meeting with the headmistress, the executive board has to be in attendance. Thanks to our club census of two…we'd _both_ have to be in attendance.

This was my chance...

"So…coffee?" said Ford, coming up to my locker.

"Uh, I got that club meeting with Ms. Gregorian, right now," I said, brushing her off.

"Oh, with that spoiled little rich girl, right?" she asked obnoxiously.

I rolled my eyes at Ford and said, "Ford…you don't even know her."

"Please, I know all about her and all those other stupid popular kids," said Ford.

"No," I began, slamming my locker. "You really don't."

"**What** is your problem?!" asked Ford. "You've been blowing me off ever since that double date!"

"I really shouldn't have to tell you why, Ford," I said. "And besides…I don't have time for this."

"Whatever," scoffed Ford as she stormed off. Yeah, I definitely did not have the patience to deal with Ford's drama on top of my own. I had other things to worry about.

Glancing at my watch I saw it was almost time for the meeting and maybe if I headed over earlier, I could try to talk to Greer? Eh, it was worth a shot.

Getting to Ms. Gregorian's office, though, I began to realize that Greer probably wasn't going to show up until the last possible minute before this meeting. That way, she wouldn't have to talk to me at all.

Even though I'm early, I might as well step in to Ms. Gregorian's office and at least chat with her. I knocked on the door and when I heard a 'Come in!', I entered.

"Hi, Brenna," she said somewhat cheerfully. "How are things going?"

"Uh, not bad, Ms. Gregorian," I answered. "I've actually been liking it a lot. I feel like we've actually been helping people."

"That's good, Brenna!" she said excitedly, seeming to notice how genuine my tone was. And it was true. I have actually been feeling like we've made a difference in people's lives. Honestly, though, I have Greer to thank for that – if only she would talk to me.

In a minute or two, while me and Ms. Gregorian were making small talk, the office door slowly swung open and Greer entered. I looked back over my shoulder at her – hoping I could at least give her a smile but she refused to even look at me. Sighing, I turned back to Ms. Gregorian and waited for her to start this meeting.

"So, girls," Ms. Gregorian began as Greer sat down. "Tell me how it's been."

"Pretty good," said Greer, almost robotically. "Brenna's been pretty helpful and we're definitely making a difference. I think we could use more funding though, because I have a plan in the works to travel for community service projects outside of Boston at some point in the future. And Brenna's doing a good enough job that I think we can shorten her service requirement."

But…I didn't want to stop volunteering. Was she doing this just to avoid me?

"Uhhh, I don't think we have to do that," I cut in. "I really don't mind volunteering, Ms. Gregorian."

"I don't mind being on my own, Ms. Gregorian," said Greer almost immediately, turning toward the headmistress.

Looking back and forth between us and realizing she served as mediator in an argument she wanted nothing to do with, Ms. Gregorian resigned to say, "I think…Brenna should keep volunteering…if she wants to…?"

After a long pause, Greer finally said, "Yeah, that's fine." There was that robotic tone again.

"Good," said the headmistress, probably still wondering if we were going to kill each other as soon as we left her office. "We'll talk about the funding on another day but Greer, when you know the dates you're thinking of for the projects, let me know."

"Sounds good and thanks," Greer said, standing up, grabbing her things and heading out the door rather hastily.

As I watched Greer bolt, I picked up my backpack and quickly said, "Sorry about that, Ms. G. I'll go talk to her."

Running out the door after Greer, I looked around to see she had somehow already escaped the hallways. Was she really that fast a walker? Geez! Wait…she was probably heading back to the parking lot. I could cut her off if I dashed to the courtyard!

Racing to the courtyard I saw a certain BMW making the curve around the driveway. Alright, she was going to talk to me whether she wanted to or not. I had to fix this. Standing in the middle of the road, I knew Greer had to slow down. She **had** to talk to me. Or…at least I _hoped_ she wouldn't run me over…

She _did_ stop in front of me.

I walked up to the driver's side window as she asked, "Are you crazy? Do you _want_ me to run you over?"

"Well, I was kinda hoping you wouldn't," I began.

"What do you want, Brenna?" she asked tiredly.

"I just want to talk, Greer," I said calmly. "Please? You never answered my text and I just need to explain what happened."

"It seemed pretty clear to me, Brenna," Greer rebuffed. "I don't think you need to explain."

"Greer, please," I begged desperately. "Please just hear me out."

She stared at me for a good thirty seconds before saying, "Fine."

"99 Café? 8 tonight?" I asked, hoping she would agree.

"Fine," she said, speeding off.

**This** was my chance.

* * *

><p>I got to the coffee shop around 7:45PM because I wanted to make sure I got my usual spot. <em>Our<em> usual spot. The minutes couldn't tick by fast enough as I anxiously waited for Greer to get there. 7:55PM – still not here. 8:00PM – _still _not here. By 8:10PM, the barista came by for the third time to refill my coffee. I must've looked pathetic sitting alone at the ledge by the window. 8:30PM – **still **not here. I think I had waited long enough and it was time to give up.

Grabbing my purse and leaving a tip on the table, I started to put on my coat to leave. That's when I saw it – a glimpse of blonde hair. That's when I saw her – coming in the front door. She showed up!

I sat back down in a daze as she walked over – not knowing where to begin. Say something, Brenna.

"Thanks for meeting me," I said, smiling at her as she sat down next to me on the ledge.

"Sure," she said somewhat coldly.

Oh God, Brenna. Say something else. Anything else…There were a thousand words floating around my head and my mouth made no movement to say even one. Maybe she'll say something if I stall long enough…

"I was really hurt, Brenna," Greer said, her voice wavering and full of sadness. Nevermind…I would've rather she didn't say anything. My heart ached when my eyes met hers. Just apologize, Brenna. Start there.

"I'm really sorry, Greer," I said nervously but full of remorse. I could hear my own voice trembling, could feel my hands shaking. "For everything. For letting Ford say those things to you. For lying to you. For not sticking up for you. For ditching you. For not running after you when you left, crying."

I paused my rambling to see if I could gauge any sort of response from her. Her head was down as she stared at her hands in her lap. I didn't know what to do so I sat in silence – waiting for a sign to continue talking or to just drop this conversation altogether. And then I saw it. A single tear shone with light as it slid off her eyelashes, falling onto her hands below.

"Greer…" I started. "Please don't cry." Okay…I think I made things worse. Jumping up to grab a box of tissues at the counter, I sat back down next to her handing her one. Should I hold her hand? Pat her on the shoulder? What do I even do? What would even make this better?

"Brenna, you _don't_ understand why I'm crying," Greer said shakily.

"So _tell_ me, Greer," I said honestly, looking in her tear-filled, reddened eyes. "Tell me why so I can fix it. I wanna fix it."

"Brenna, I asked you if you were free that Saturday night because…" she started, but pausing with hesitation as if she was unsure of whether she wanted to say what she was _trying_ to say. I really hoped she was going to say what I _wanted_ her to say – if that's even what she was trying to say…

I nodded slowly waiting for her to continue – hoping…still hoping.

"I asked you about that night because…" she began again, "…because I wanted to spend time with you."

That's not quite what I was hoping to hear…

"Okay…" I said, unsure of where to go from here. "Um—"

"I wanted to spend time with you because..." she continued.

This is so drawn-out it's killing me. I simply stared – mustering as much patience as I could bear. Drinking all that coffee was probably the least helpful thing I had done today because I could barely sit still...and I also had to pee.

"Well, what I mean to say is…" she corrected herself. "...I saw you on that date with that guy at the theatre and…"

"Greer, I tried to tell you—," I began again, sounding impatient though that wasn't my intention.

"But I saw you with him and his arm was around your shoulder…, "she responded. "...and then Ford said all those things. And she was probably right. Why _would_ we even be friends? We have **nothing** in common. We're completely different people. We better just—"

"No," I said cutting her off, stopping her from saying what I think she was about to say.

Because, no. I was **not** going to sit here and listen to her tell me we shouldn't be friends. I wasn't going to just watch while she threw away a great friendship. Relationship? **Whatever** this was!

I had to say it. It was now or never.

"Greer, I _**like**_ you," I blurted out.

There it was. I had made the confession I could no longer take back. And I didn't _want_ to take it back. I said it. It was out of my hands. I had said how I felt and now it was up to her to—

I was jolted from my thoughts when I saw Greer hurriedly get up, grab her things, and run out the entrance to the coffee shop.

Oh no. What have I done? I ran out of the shop after her because, damn it, she was not going to get away this time.

"Greer!" I called as I stepped outside the front door, looking around for her. "Gre—" I called out again but stopped as I saw her leaning against the brick wall of the coffee shop. She was looking down at her feet solemnly.

"Greer, what's wrong?" I asked sincerely. "I just told you I like you and you ran out of there like it was the worst thing in the world…"

Greer remained silent, staring at her feet – soon burying her face in her hands. If I knew telling her the truth would make her this miserable, I definitely wouldn't have said anything. I'd rather live with my intolerable, unrequited crush unspoken of for years than put her through this kind of misery.

Walking over to her, I brought her hands down from her face and held them in front of me. "Greer…", I began. "Why are you upset?"

"I'm not," she said, lifting her head wearing a small smile amid the tears. "I'm not upset at all."

Before I could say anything, she brought her hands to my face – her thumbs gently stroking my cheeks and her eyes gazing into mine as she debated her next move.

Enough hesitation, already.

I brought her hands down, intertwining our fingers, as she leaned forward to kiss me. From the moment our lips touched, I felt the electricity. I had imagined this moment but nothing I dreamed of came close to this kiss.

As she pulled away with our fingers still locked together, my eyes fluttered open to see her smiling.

There was that dimpled smile.

She freed her hands from mine to wrap me in a hug and in response, I wrapped my arms around her waist as I rest my head on her shoulder.

The butterflies returned and my heart beat faster in my chest.

This time, though, I wasn't letting go.

* * *

><p><strong>I just want to thank y'all for reading, reviewing, favorite-ing, following or whatever combo of those things! I hope I'm sticking close to the character's personalities so far and your comments are appreciated! ENJOY! =D<strong>


	11. Starting Slow

**Chapter 11 – Starting Slow**

So I took a chance…and it worked out this time. And all that hazy uncertainty that existed just vanished before my eyes after I told Greer I like her – and I found out she feels the same way.

After Greer and I had spent what seemed an eternity outside the coffee shop, just enjoying being in each other's arms, we decided it was **way** too cold and headed back into the store much to the annoyance of the owner who had already cleared and cleaned our table. Apologizing to the store owner profusely, we both ordered another set of coffees and sat back down on the ledge by the bay window.

Checking my phone I saw it was already 10:00PM! Where did the night go?!

"I guess we can't stay here too much longer," I began, realizing the owner is probably going to kill us. "They're closing in like an hour."

"Whoa, yeah," Greer said as she looked at her watch. "I completely lost track of time!"

We sat in silence for a little bit – as tends to happen in our conversations. This time, though, I wasn't uncomfortable with the quiet. I liked just being in her presence, just being near her.

"So…," she started with a coy smile as she looked up from her cup of coffee. "You like me, huh?"

"_EXCUSEEEE_ me," I said, scoffing. "I seem to recall you liking me back…"

"Yeah, I mean…you're alright," she said jokingly.

I shook my head just smiling at her, reaching for her free hand, as she sipped more coffee. I was in awe of this girl – her sense of humor, how happy she made me feel, and those ridiculously adorable dimples. But I still had so many questions. What about our first date? Did this mean we _were_ dating? What about telling our friends? Oh goodness…what would Ford think? Maybe what she doesn't know won't hurt her…

I was wracked with so many questions before I confessed my feelings to Greer but I found out I was full of so many **more** now that we discovered we actually _do_ like each other. And thank God for that! I can't imagine how awkward things would have been if she didn't feel the same way…

Too much thinking, Brenna. You can have this talk with her another time. Don't ruin this, right now.

"So…we should be heading back, huh?" I asked, in a tone that suggested we should probably go but I'm sure was laced with plenty of disappointment at the fact that we **had** to.

"Yeah, I guess so," said Greer woefully, very clearly feeling the same way I was.

"But…walk me back?" I asked, hoping she would agree. Though…it was super cold, so I totally understand if she—

I was pulled from my thoughts as she sprang from her seat, threw on her coat excitedly, and extended a hand in front of her – asking for my own. Taking her hand in mine, we both thanked and apologized to the owner again for creating extra work for him, and headed out into the brisk and blustery night.

* * *

><p>The walk back to my home was cold. Cold…and <em>wonderful<em>.

I held her hand close to my side the whole way back which was actually _quite _an accomplishment given I contemplated pulling our locked fingers apart many times – just so I could stuff mine into my coat pockets. I'm glad I didn't though because holding her hand was a **way **better choice.

Reaching the step outside my front door, a pang of sadness swept through me. I didn't want this to end. I wanted to sit with her just a little bit longer – talk with her just a little bit more. Which is crazy, I know! It's not like I wouldn't see her at school tomorrow...

"Hey, what're you thinking?" Greer asked taking note of the expression of general glumness that had settled on my face.

"Oh, nothing," I said. I could say that I didn't want this night to end…that I felt like I could talk to her forever about anything and everything…that I have truly _never_ felt this way about or with anyone ever before.

Too much too fast, Brenna. Take it slow.

"Just thinking about whether…I should ask you to come in to see my mom and Ape?" I asked.

Good one, Brenna. You couldn't say the other stuff because _that_ was moving too fast…so instead you _already_ invited her in to **meet your family?** If I could roll my eyes at myself…I would.

"Uhhh…don't you think it might be a _bit_ too soon?" asked Greer, who was doing a terrible job of hiding the nervousness on _her_ face. "Considering we...admitted to liking each other…like, a few hours ago…"

"Oh. Yeah. Totally too soon." I said quickly as if my request to meet my mom and Ape was the most illogical thing ever. Because…it kinda was. "Eventually, maybe…"

"Yeah, eventually. I'd love to some time though," she said smiling. As her eyes moved back and forth, fixating on my own, she tucked a loose lock of hair behind my ear slowly and carefully as if having it come untucked would be the most catastrophic thing in the world.

Looking down at my shoes and beginning to blush, I started, "I guess…I should be heading in now. It's pretty late and we **do** have school tomorrow."

"Oh, yeah…I totally forgot!" Greer exclaimed.

Raising my head, my eyes met hers and I wasn't sure what to do next.

I, mean…we shared our first kiss already…but do I kiss her goodnight, now?

This was making me more nervous than I expected. Our first kiss was a surprise kiss…but this one is planned. What if I do it wrong? What if I, like, poke her eye out with my nose?

Leaning in to kiss her cheek, Greer turned into the kiss instead and our lips met for the second time tonight. I was taken by surprise, yet again – but welcomed the familiar feeling of sparks between us.

So much for starting slow, Brenna.

Then again...I really didn't mind.


	12. Hear Her Smiling

**Chapter 12 – Hear Her Smiling**

"Bye", I said – giving Greer another quick kiss.

Putting my hands in my coat pockets, I watched her walk away until she rounded the corner at the end of the street and once she had left my sight I decided to head inside. Glancing at my watch I noted it was already 11:30PM and I basically had to go to bed in…ten minutes. I guess I can scramble through my homework assignment during homeroom and maybe try to finish the rest during lunch.

I mean…doing my homework versus kissing Greer…

I think the choice was obvious.

Closing the front door behind me, I leaned against it with my eyes closed and a small smile spread across my face. I could really only think about one thing.

That kiss.

"Hey, Bren," Mom said, sitting on the couch in the living room – enjoying one of her ridiculous romance novels much to no one's surprise. "Next time you're out late, just text me so I know you haven't been kidnapped or something, okay?"

"Yeah, Mom…phone call…sure thing," I mumbled in a happiness-laden daze as I made my way into the kitchen not even looking in her direction.

"Well…_someone_ had a good night," I heard Grams say, also from the living room.

Heading into the kitchen to grab a cup of water and obviously absorbed in my own thoughts, I was snapped back to reality when I heard April say, "EARTH TO BRENNA!" rather loudly.

Whoa, I didn't even see her. Or Beth! What's she doing here?

"Beth! What're you doing here?" I asked, looking at her – sounding way more surprised than I had intended to and still sporting the goofiest of grins on my face.

"Uhhh…I kinda thought I was _always_ welcome here, B," Beth answered, somewhat taken aback. Staring me down, Beth smiled slyly as she came to a certain realization. "Wait a minute. Were you where I _think_ you were?"

"Oh my God, Bren! Did you tell her?" April asked excitedly.

"DID YOU TELL HER? DOES SHE **LIKE LIKE** YOU TOO?" exclaimed Beth, almost screaming, at which point I waved my hands around wildly gesturing for her to quiet down. I wasn't ready for Mom to know about my dating life just yet. I love her, but…I need a _little_ bit of privacy.

"Uh, April and Beth…could you help me…with something…up…in my room?" I asked looking at both of them – eyebrows raised and trying my very best to seem inconspicuous about what I "needed help" with.

Clearly they got the message but Beth wasn't one for subtlety as she practically yelled, "YES WE CAN HELP YOU, BRENNA!"

"Dear God, we're not deaf, Beth," said April playfully shoving her.

"Right so…upstairs," I said as I ran for the stairs with April and Beth following right behind me.

Reaching my room, I made sure my mom and Grams weren't following close behind. They can be a curious pair, you know.

Confirming they were still downstairs – Mom's eyes glued to her book and Grams chatting away on the phone with her friend, Gertie – I shut the door and sat on the chair by my desk as April and Beth plopped onto my bed.

"Give us the deets!" said Beth, struggling to contain her excitement.

"Yeah, out with it, Bren!" goaded April.

"Okay…so…"I started, still grinning a grin as big as one you'd see on that weird cat-thing in _Alice in Wonderland_. "I told her."

"Andddd…" they both said in unison, leaning forward and waiting for me to go on.

"Turns out she _does_ feel the same way," I said blushing. I thought to myself that I couldn't **possibly** have a bigger smile on my face.

"_Yayyyyy_!" April and Beth cheered together.

"Wait wait wait, hold up," said Beth. "That blush is definitely a _just-got-kissed_ blush…Am I right?"

I flushed with warmth as I buried my face in my hands trying to hide a mixture of embarrassment and ten different shades of pink.

"YOU KISSED!" they both yelled.

"Twice, really..." I offered.

"**TWICE**!" they yelled again.

"GUYS! Keep it down! Geez!" I said with a tone that I meant to be scolding though I truly couldn't help but share in their joy.

"Okay okay, Bren," said April. "We promise to keep it down."

"_**I**_ never made that promise," challenged Beth who I promptly glared at.

"So…are you guys like dating now or what?" asked April.

"Uhh…well, we didn't really talk about…any of that," I stuttered. "I don't know…I didn't wanna bring that up so soon. I kinda wanna just feel this out, you know."

"Yeah, take it slow, Bren," Beth agreed. "The important thing is you **both** like each other and now you know. Just have fun together and take it from there!"

"Yeah, I guess," I said. "I'm kinda not sure what I should say to Ford or Mom or Grams. I'm also not sure how to act around school. Like…when we're at school…do we make it a 'thing' that we're together…or…I don't know!"

"Well…why do _you_ care what other people think?" asked April.

"It's not that I'm _ashamed_ of being with her," I reasoned. "I would love to be 'with' her in **front** of people. But…we come from two _very_ different groups of friends. Like…our friends would _never_ get along with each other and I don't want that to be the thing that could keep us apart, you know?"

April and Beth both had expressions of understanding and seemed hesitant to give me any sort of definitive advice. After some time April offered, "Look, Bren. You like this girl. You like her a lot! Just do what you think is right."

"Definitely," agreed Beth. "Take this slow. But it took you so much to finally **get** to this point where you know you like each other and you wanna be with each other. Hold onto that and don't throw a wrench in this before you even give it a full chance to work out."

"Yeah, I guess," I agreed, but with trepidation.

After some time I continued, "On **THAT** note, though…thanks for the advice guys. _But_, if you wouldn't mind…I have a certain girl I wanna talk to."

"Alright, alright," April said waving her hands defensively. "We know when we're not wanted."

"Wait, wait, I wanna stick around and hear this!" Beth said.

Rolling her eyes, April grabbed Beth by the arm and shuttled her out of my room and down the stairs as Beth protested all the way to the kitchen. Laughing to myself, I saw on my clock that it was already 12:15AM! What were the chances Greer was still awake?

Well, I'm hoping the chances were favorable considering I just called her…

"Hi, you," she said as she picked up. "I was just about to call you."

"Hi, yourself," I said in response. "Guess I beat you to it, huh?"

"You know, if I didn't know any better I'd say I can hear you smiling."

"Ummm…you can't _hear_ someone smiling…" I countered.

"I beg to differ, Ms. Carver. I think you can definitely tell over the phone."

"Oh yeah? I will bet you…a date anywhere _you_ wanna go…if I'm wrong." I wagered.

**_ding_**

"Did you really just send me a Snapchat of you smiling while talking on the phone?" she asked.

"Oh, shoot. I guess that means I lose then. So…where are we going?"

"Brenna Carver…was this a ploy to ask me out on a date?" Greer asked.

"No…what it is...is an **incredibly** well-crafted ploy to ask you out on our _**first**_…_**official**_…date." I answered.

"Oh well…I can't say no, now can I? You gotta make good on this bet."

"That I do. So…where are we going?"

"How about Farley's on Saturday night? I heard a lot about that place and wanted to check it out," she suggested.

How perfect! Maybe I won't let on how well I know the place and leave a little room for surprise. Since my family knows the owner pretty well, maybe she and I can work something out. I was going to make this the best date ever and having picked Farley's we were already off to a great start.

"You know, I've never heard of it but I'd love to check it out too," I said.

"Good…then it's a date," she affirmed.

"That it is," I said. "So…it's getting kinda late but I guess I'll see you in school tomorrow?"

"Yep," she said without hanging up. Well, neither one of us hung up...

What do I say now? If there was anything I could say that was the perfect blend of clever and semi-flirty…now would be a perfect time to say it. As usual, I can't come up with anything so I guess I'll just resort to:

"Goodnight, Greer."

"Goodnight, Brenna."

I'm pretty sure I could hear her smiling.


	13. Do You Wanna

**Chapter 13 – Do You Wanna...**

Phew! I managed to jot down _something_ for all my assignments during homeroom today so at least I'd have lunch free to find Greer. Lunch only lasts thirty minutes but if it's the one chance I get to see her during the day then I'm _definitely_ going to take it.

::_RINGGGG_::

There was the lunch bell! I ran over to my locker to grab the sandwich Grams packed for me this morning and headed over to the courtyard hoping to see Greer there. Grabbing one of the tables by the courtyard garden, I took out my lunch and a book to pass the time until she came by – and hopefully she _did_ come by. Maybe she was having the same reservations about this that I was…I guess we would have to talk about it at some time in the future. I was just hoping that time wouldn't be so soon.

Clearly not very into the book I was reading, I began looking around – just surveying my surroundings. You know, I'm not sure why they call it a garden. There's basically a small patch of grass with four trees planted in the center of it right here in the middle of the courtyard. It _is_ a nice place to come to to eat lunch though when the weather is nice outside because it's surrounded by a bunch of tables shaded by the large trees.

Taking another bite of my sandwich, I finally heard footsteps approaching from the right. Looking over I saw that it was Greer.

My Greer.

She is _mine_, right?

Nevermind.

"Hey there," she said sitting down next to me. "What's for lunch?"

"Uhhhh…something my grandmother threw together," I tried to explain. "I've been eating it for the past two minutes and **still** don't know what's in it…"

"Sounds like a recipe for food poisoning to me," said Greer, chuckling.

"It's not that bad, actually!" I reasoned, smiling. "How were classes in the morning?"

"You know…the usual," she answered. "History is history. Hasn't really changed in the past…forever."

Laughing, I smiled at her – letting my eyes settle on the various features of her face.

"I missed you," I blurted out – and immediately lowered my head out of embarrassment.

Oh no. Too much too soon, Brenna. Too much too soon! I can't take it back, now.

I looked up to see that Greer had raised her eyebrows in surprise but eventually said, "I missed you too, Bren."

What a relief! I don't want to scare her away…

"Whatcha reading there?" she asked, taking out her own lunch. "Looks kinda hefty…"

"Oh…uhhh…_Fahrenheit 451_ for class," I answered – realizing I hadn't read a single word of this book though I attempted to _many_ times in the past few days.

"I can't imagine that's going _too_ well…," she began, "…considering your book is…upside-down…"

Looking down at the book, I embarrassingly just said, "Oh."

Closing it and putting it back in my bag, I didn't notice Ford coming over to us. I only learned of her presence when I heard her voice as she sarcastically said, "Well…this is new, isn't it?"

"Uhh, Ford—," I began, not sure of what to say next. I could tell her Greer and I were friends…I could tell her we were more than that…I could tell her I was still mad at her for what she said to Greer…which would then probably lead to me telling her _why_ I cared what she said to Greer…which would ultimately reveal at the very least that Greer and I were friends…or more? I hadn't even finished my thought when Ford spoke again.

"Or…is this _**not**_ new?" she asked, somewhat rhetorically. "Is **this** why you've been pissed at me? Because maybe I said a few things to your **friend**…like, forever ago?" She said the word 'friend' but she said it as if she didn't believe it carried any meaning with regard to Greer.

"I think that's probably as good an apology as I'll get," mumbled Greer in an aside as she packed up her lunch to leave.

I looked at Greer and sighed before turning back to Ford. "You were really rude, Ford. And that was definitely _not_ any sort of apology. You don't even know Greer and if you gave her a chance you might find out you guys have more in common than you think."

Turning to Greer I said, "You don't have to leave."

Turning back to Ford I firmly stated, "But if you don't think you can be decent enough to show her _some _respect…then **you** should leave."

Scoffing, Ford responded, "Come on, Brenna. You're choosing _her_ over **_our_ **friendship? I've known you for years! You're really gonna toss that away so you can hang out with Little Miss Perfect who you've known for all of like…two months?"

Starting to get frustrated, I argued, "It's not about time, Ford! People change and you've been the brooding-let's-bag-on-everybody Ford since we got to high school! And maybe I don't wanna be _that_ type of person."

Looking over, I saw Greer now had her head down as she fiddled with something in her backpack – clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

I continued, "Since I've met Greer, she's done nothing but stick up for me and she's always made it seem like she had my back. Sure I've only known her for a few months, but she's been a really great…**friend**…so far. And lately, _you_ haven't been."

I emphasized the word 'friend' and now I don't know whether I should have. Greer's more to me than _just_ a friend but I wasn't ready to launch into a lengthy explanation of what our relationship had evolved into. I hope Greer doesn't feel that I'm ashamed to be with her because that is _definitely_ not true.

"Fine," said Ford angrily, looking at Greer. "Pick her…I don't care. I hope you're happy with your new 'friend'". In a matter of moments, she stormed off without looking back.

Shaking my head, I looked at Greer who – though she was still visibly uncomfortable – looked a bit more at ease.

"I'm really sorry about that, Greer," I started to say.

"About the general Ford drama...," she began, "…or about the fact that you were very clear in labeling me your 'friend'…"

"Uhhh," I started to say as I began to fidget with nervousness.

::_RINGGGG_::

Oh, thank God – saved by the bell!

"I wasn't sure if…Well I didn't know if…But what I wanted to say," I stuttered, clearly struggling to choose a single thought to express as Greer stared at me blankly. She didn't seem upset but rather – in need of an explanation…or, in want of a discussion. Unfortunately since the bell just rang…we had time for neither of those things.

"We can talk after school, Bren," Greer said. "It's no big deal. I'll see you here later, okay?"

"Yeah, we should talk," I agreed, feeling even more nervous. I suspect this is what little kids feel like when they've done something they know is wrong and if there were a corner to go banish myself to…I would do it. But, at least she wasn't mad, right?

I had the next two or three hours to think about what I was going to say to her and I'd better make it good.

* * *

><p>School had just ended. Alright, Brenna…you can do this. Just like you rehearsed. Well…rehearsed in your head. Speaking of all that rehearsing…I have no idea what happened during my classes during the afternoon. I'll have to get someone to fill me in if I'm going to come anywhere near finishing the homework we have to do tonight. Eh, I'll worry about that later.<p>

Still internally practicing what I was going to say to Greer and feeling guilty about what happened before, I made it to the courtyard and saw Greer was already sitting on a bench with her back toward me. As I approached, I forgot just about **everything** I wanted to say and instead was mesmerized by the way the sunlight worked its way through her blonde hair, the way the wind lifted it ever so slightly in the light breeze.

Sitting down next to her, I didn't know where to begin.

So…it shouldn't surprise anyone that in true Brenna fashion I just blurted out, "Do you wanna be my girlfriend?"

Greer furrowed her eyebrows and looked at me, baffled.

"Uh…that's not what I meant to say," I started. "I had all this stuff I wanted to say to you…and I had it all planned out. But I was coming over here and then pretty much forgot it all when I saw you."

Greer continued to stare at me, confused.

"I had a lot to say before leading up to asking you to be my girlfriend. But…uh, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for calling you my 'friend' before. I didn't know where we stood with…labels and stuff and whether you wanted to be my 'girlfriend' or just my _friend_ who happens to be a girl. And…who I happen to kiss every now and again…That being said, you are definitely way more than a friend to me and I'm sorry if I upset you…and…stop me any time, really…," I finished looking at her for any sign of comprehension.

She just continued to stare, though.

"I had so many questions when this all started," I continued. "I didn't know if finding out we both had feelings for each other meant we were actually now dating or if we were just seeing where this went – no strings attached. I also didn't know – and still don't know – how people in school are going to react. Well, namely our friends. Well, namely…Ford. Though I think that question's already been answered…"

Still staring, she sat quietly.

"I decided that I didn't really care about any of that. I decided I **wanna** be with you, I **wanna** hold your hand, and I **wanna** kiss you. And…whoever happens to notice…just happens to notice – and we don't owe an explanation to anybody. We can just be…_us_." Struggling to read her expression, I pleaded, "Greer, please say something."

She finally took my hands in hers, intertwining our fingers before I noticed a smirk on her face. Huh, so I guess I didn't mess up. Good job, Bre—

The third kiss.

I freed one of my hands as I noticed her starting to pull away, bringing it up to her chin to pull her in closer as I smiled into another kiss. Pulling away, I rested my forehead on hers – my eyes still closed.

As I opened my eyes, she brought her hands up to my cheeks and said, "You _did_ say you wanted to kiss me."

"I did," I said, smiling.

"So…yes," she said.

"Yes?" I asked, confused.

"Yes, I **wanna** be your girlfriend," she said, chuckling.

"Well…that is a _very _good thing," I assured her.

"Yeah? Why's that?" she asked.

"Well, for one…our date would have been _super_ awkward," I said sarcastically as Greer giggled.

"Can't have that, can we?" said Greer, moving closer – her lips just centimeters from mine.

"_Absolutely _not," I said – closing the gap between our lips yet again.

* * *

><p><strong>Another chapter done! I just wanted to thank y'all for continuing to read and comment and I hope I'm not letting you guys down!<strong>


	14. Date Night 2-Point-Oh

**Chapter 14 – Date Night 2.0**

Saturday night.

Date night. Not like that _other_ date night...

This one mattered and _this_ one I was looking forward to.

Ever since Greer had picked Farley's for our first date, I've been brainstorming up a…storm…thinking about how I could make this date as perfect as possible. I mean, this was our _**first**_..._**official**_…date and I didn't want to fall short of _any_ expectations Greer might have had. I just didn't want to let her down, you know?

Crap! It was already 7:00PM and I said I'd pick up Greer at 7:30PM! I have to leave in like…two minutes.

"Ape?!" I yelled from the bathroom between our rooms. "Where's that dark red lipstick you borrowed from me?"

"It should be right there!" she yelled from her room, walking over to find me frantically rummaging through the cabinets along the bathroom wall.

"But it's the perfect shade! I have to find it! And I have to leave in like a minute or I'm gonna be late!" I said, frazzled.

"Brenna! Calm down!" April said grabbing my shoulders, stopping me from running in circles around the bathroom in search of my elusive shade of red.

"Okay, okay," I said, settling down. "I just want this to be perfect!"

"I know, I know," said April. "And it will be…if you just _be yourself_."

"But I have so much planned!" I whined. "I just want it to all go smoothly!"

"And it will!" April said. "But if it _doesn't_…she'll still love it, I'm sure."

I appreciated the consoling words from April but I was **still** a nervous wreck. I guess that's to be expected, though. Also, maybe I shouldn't have had that burrito for lunch…I was starting to feel queasy. Then again…I'm wondering how much of my nausea was burrito and how much of it was nervousness…

Finding a shade of sorta-maroon lipstick, April struggled to keep my head still while trying to apply it as I threw on some blush I found in a drawer. Oh God…I hope I don't look like a clown.

"Alright, smack your lips together and get going, kid!" April said excitedly shoving me out of the bathroom.

"Wish me luck!" I said nervously as I grabbed my purse and ran downstairs to grab the car keys.

Shoot! I never told Mom I was borrowing the car! I mean, she was out already so…I'm assuming she didn't need it for the rest of the night. I called back upstairs to Ape, "Let Mom know I took the car to go hang out with Greer and I'll be back around 11 or something!"

"Okay, but text her just in case!" April yelled down from the top of the stairs. "And have **fun**!"

"Yeah, yeah," I said as I grabbed my coat and ran out the front door.

Don't mess this up, Brenna!

* * *

><p>7:35PM. I pulled up to the curb in front of Greer's house. Whoa. She wasn't kidding when she said it was mansion-esque. If only her and her parents lived here…what could they even need all that extra space for?<p>

Reaching the top of the steps of her front porch, I rang the doorbell. Each passing second Greer didn't come out I grew more and more anxious – just waiting to see what was on the other side of the door. Looking down at my shoes – which I realized I could have done a better job picking out – I sighed, seeing my breath in the chilly night air. Finally, the front door swung open as Greer said, "Sorry I took so long. I was just doing some last-minute rummaging…"

I was speechless. Red heels, jet black skinny jeans, and a plain white v-necked t-shirt tucked into them – topped with a slim silver necklace with its pendant hitting the point of the 'v'. I never thought something so simple could look—

"So hot," I managed to blurt out. Crap! Did I really say that aloud?! Get it together, Brenna!

Giggling, Greer said, "Well you don't look so bad yourself, Bren."

Looking down at my own outfit, I thought I was super underdressed in comparison. Definitely should've put more thought into this…

"So, shall we?" Greer asked as she made her way to the bottom of the steps, reaching back for my hand.

"We shall," I said, smiling, taking her hand as we walked together back to the car. Reaching the passenger's side, I opened the door for her and after she stepped in, I made my way back to the driver's side.

"You ready?" I asked, getting in.

"Mmhmm," she said with what I thought might have been a _hint_ of nervousness on her part.

"Good," I said, smiling.

Starting the car, we were on our way to Farley's for what I hoped would be a night to remember.

* * *

><p>Pulling into a parking spot outside the restaurant, I turned off the car and made my way around the car to open the door for her. Who said chivalry was dead?<p>

Stepping out of the car, she took my hand and we walked into the restaurant together.

"Two for Carver at 8:00," I said to the hostess, who quickly grabbed some sheets on a clipboard – frantically flipping through them to find my name.

A solid minute had passed and she made her way through the stack of papers at least three times so far. I was beginning to become worried that something was wrong with the reservation…Did I not say my name clearly or something? Did I reserve the wrong date? I definitely talked _directly _to Sue, the owner, a few days ago to set this up…

"Is the owner around?" I finally asked, with a concerned look on my face.

"She actually…had to take tonight off," informed the hostess. "She left me with instructions though so things have been running pretty smoothly so far…"

"Up until…now…" I said glumly. "She didn't pass on news of my reservation or anything?"

"I don't have it anywhere here in the notes she left and your name isn't coming up on these sheets," she said.

"I mean, I reserved it for tonight…for right now…I'm _pretty_ sure," I began. "How long would the wait be for a table?"

"At this point…," she started as she scanned the list one more time, "…I'd say about one hour."

"One hour?!" I said, shocked. "That's ridiculous!"

"Look, I'm really sorry," the hostess apologized. "But…there's not much I can do. We're backed up with other reservations!"

"I know, I know," I said to the hostess. "I know it's not your fault."

"Bren, it's okay," said Greer, next to me. "I don't mind waiting."

I glanced her way, with a look intended to check whether she was _sure_ she wanted to wait the hour or not. With a small smile, she nodded her head as if to say she _was_ sure and the extra wait wasn't actually the end of the world. Thank goodness for this girl. I'm **so** much luckier to have found her than I previously thought.

Sighing, I smiled back at the hostess, "Yeah, that's okay. We'll wait."

We sat down on a bench in the waiting area and Greer must've sensed I was tense, because she took one of my hands in her lap – trapped between _her_ hands. Letting out a small sigh, I forced a smile.

This night wasn't _quite_ what I had in mind.

* * *

><p>Finally getting our table after one-and-a-half hours of waiting, I was hoping the food we ordered was phenomenal because things were not off to the greatest start…<p>

Considering we had waited long enough, we decided to skip the appetizer round and go straight for the entrées because we were _way_ too hungry for side salads. Within a few moments, our dishes had arrived. I had ordered the blackened salmon while Greer had ordered the citrus-glazed roasted chicken. I hope she likes it…

As she took her first bite, I grimaced in anticipation of her critique. "Hey, this is great!" she finally said excitedly. Phew! At least she likes it. And my fish wasn't half-bad either.

"Although…maybe it's the lighting…but the chicken looks a tiny bit pink in the center," Greer continued as I laughed at the sight of her prodding her piece of chicken.

As I picked up my fork to take another bite, a friendly voice came up to us: "Brenna! It's so great to see you!" Looking over, I saw it was my family's favorite waiter – Jimmy. Jimmy used to be a teacher at my old elementary school but he started waiting tables about five years ago when his wife took a full-time job and he wanted to be around for his kids during the daytime. Working nights at the restaurant worked out perfectly for him since it meant his wife would be able to spend time with the kids during evening hours. Jimmy is someone I'd describe as an overall "Good Guy". He always had a smile on his face and it seemed like nothing that happened to him could _ever_ bring him down. I would love to have that kind of attitude someday. Although…if that someday could be **today** with all that's going on with April – it'd be better still.

"Hey, Jimmy!" I said cheerfully. "How have you been?"

"You know each other?" Greer asked, cutting in.

"Yeah!" Jimmy said excitedly. "Brenna's been coming here with her family for years!"

"So you _do_ know this place…" said Greer shooting me a faux accusatory glare.

"Alright, alright," I said – waving my hands in the air. "I confess. It's one of my favorites."

"And you must be…," began Jimmy, extending a hand in front of Greer for a handshake.

"Greer," she said, smiling, as she shook his hand firmly. "Nice to meet you!"

"You two on a date or something?" asked Jimmy, looking at the both of us. "I'm only asking because you guys are dressed _way_ too nicely for just a casual dinner…"

Greer looked at me for a brief moment – in a way that made me think she was both _expecting_ me to answer and was also curious to see what I said. I wasn't going to mess up this time, though. "We are, actually," I offered. "It's our _first _date tonight and I wanted to make sure it was a special one."

"Well, obviously…since you're **_here_**!" said Jimmy. Looking at Greer he continued, "We've watched Brenna grow up into a_ beautiful, strong_ woman especially with everything going on that I'm sure she told you about. We're very proud of her."

"We're **very** proud of you, Brenna," he repeated, looking at me this time, placing a bracing hand on my shoulder. "Anyway…I won't interrupt anymore…and will let you two get on with your date. If you need anything else, just holler for me, okay?"

"You got it, Jim," I said, smiling. "And thanks."

"Anytime, girls," Jimmy said as he walked away to tend to other tables.

"He seems really nice," said Greer, smiling at me.

"Yeah, he's a great guy," I added. "My family and I have been coming here for years. It was actually a tradition to come here the last night of summer – every year – as a way of having us all hang out and sorta recap the summer while just enjoying our time with each other. It was definitely my Dad's favorite…"

As Greer noticed me trailing off, she reached across the table for my hand – gently rubbing the back of it with her thumb.

"When my Dad passed away, Jimmy and most of the people we were close to here in the restaurant had heard about it," I continued. "In the first few weeks after Dad died, Jimmy and a bunch of his coworkers would bring some food for us to eat at home. It helped a lot since no one in our house was really in the mood to cook much. They love us here and we definitely love them."

"That's great, Bren," said Greer in a comforting manner.

Grabbing a menu next to me and in need of a change in subject, I asked, "So…how about dessert?"

"Well…since you're obviously a Farley's expert…" began Greer. "…what do you recommend?"

"Ummm…just about everything," I said, confidently.

* * *

><p>A slice of apple pie, a fudge brownie, and a bowl of chocolate mousse later…we decided we were full. Though our date was off to a rocky start with the delay and all, I thought the dinner itself had gone pretty smoothly. That being said, I had one <em>last<em> plan in mind. Excusing myself from the table, I got up to make a phone call. The night I had made the reservation, I had also arranged for a carriage ride through the Boston Public Garden. I better make sure everything's all set for that, though…

"Hi, this is Brenna Carver," I spoke into the phone. "I requested a ride for tonight?"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Carver," said the woman over the phone. "We don't have a driver available for this evening. The driver we _did_ have scheduled had to cancel at the last moment due to a family emergency…"

"Seriously?!" I asked, rhetorically. Wow. So much for the perfect date. The date I thought was going somewhat smoothly just hit another **large **bump in the road.

"I'm really sorry, Ms. Carver," said the woman again. "We'll reimburse your deposit. I'm very sorry for the inconvenience."

"Great," I said, sarcastically. "Thanks, anyway."

Hanging up, I walked back to the table.

"Everything okay?" Greer asked.

"Well…not really," I said. "I set up this carriage ride through the Public Garden for when we were done with dinner. I was gonna get us some hot cocoa for us to drink while we took a ride throughout the park. I even threw a blanket in my car for us to share in case we got too cold! The driver had to cancel last-minute so there's no one available to take us around. I'm really sorry, Greer. I feel like I messed this all up. I wanted tonight to be special, you know. I mean it's our _first_ date. I wanted it to be memorable…but definitely not in **this** way."

"Bren, it's okay," she said, calmly, taking my hands. "It _was_ special! I _love_ that you took me to a restaurant that means so much to you and I _love_ that you tried to set up a carriage ride. But…I also just _love_ that I got to spend more time with **you**."

"Well, it's sweet of you to say that but—," I began.

"But...I mean it, Bren," she assured me.

Looking into her eyes, I still felt a little disappointed – but maybe now a little bit relieved, as well. "Well…even though it's a little cliché as far as dates go…do you wanna watch a movie back at my house?" I asked.

"Well…my parents _are_ out of town," Greer said. "So…it's not like anyone is expecting me at home or anything. So…yes, I would love to."

"I can't promise that I have a very good selection of movies if a rich cinematic experience is something you're going for," I reasoned gallantly. "But…if **Disney** movies are what you're going for…then you'll be _fairly_ happy."

"You know, I never _can_ pass up a good Disney movie," said Greer, chuckling.

* * *

><p>Parking along the street just around the corner, Greer and I walked into my house to find it shockingly empty. No Ape, no Mom, no Grams? Where did everyone go? I guess they're out and about doing their own things. It <strong>is<strong> Saturday night, after all. You know, I wonder if Mom is out with Uncle George again…? I've been meaning to ask her about that…

"Welcome…to the Carver abode," I said, turning on a few lights and gesturing somewhat dramatically. Taking note of how chilly it was in the house, I continued, "It's a little cold in here so I'm gonna go turn on the heat. Make yourself at home."

Making my way upstairs to where the unit control panel was, I turned on the heater. Before heading back downstairs, I stopped by the closet at the top of the staircase and grabbed a blanket for Greer in case she was still cold.

"Do you want any water, tea, hot cocoa or…anything?" I asked, finding Greer taking a look around the kitchen.

"Your house seems so…homey," she said, smiling.

"Well it _is_ a house…," I said sarcastically.

Rolling her eyes she corrected herself: "No, I mean…it looks so cozy. So lively and _lived-in_."

Realizing how hard she must have it with her parents not being around all that often, I offered: "You know, you can always spend time with us…here."

Greer looked surprise so I continued, "I mean…when you're ready to like…_actually_ hang out with my family. They can be a bit much sometimes…"

"Well, it'd definitely beat the quiet Danville household any day," she agreed, smiling.

As I sifted through the dishwasher pulling out a mug for myself, I pulled out a second for her and asked, "So…hot cocoa?"

"Sure!" Greer said excitedly, as she continued to make her way around the house, stopping at the fridge to take a look at all the family pictures we had thrown on there. She lingered particularly long on a picture my family took together while on vacation in California a few years back. My Dad loved the beaches in California.

"He always said he did his best writing there," I said absent-mindedly, not realizing my sentence was a continuation of an internal monologue Greer wasn't privy to. Seeing the confusion on her face, I added, "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about that picture you were looking at. We took that while on a vacation to California a few years ago. My Dad was _crazy_ about the beaches out there and Mom and April love doing the tourist-y slash landscape-y stuff so we did a little bit of both. But…Dad always said he did his best writing on those beaches. Writing on napkins, paper bags, cardboard boxes…whatever was around him. The water always seemed to bring him new ideas…"

I grew quiet and Greer looked at me with a measure of concern.

::_BEEP BEEP_::

Our collective trains of thought were broken as the microwave interrupted the heavy silence with a familiar beeping to signify the cups of water were hot enough and hot-cocoa-ready. Setting the two mugs down on the counter, I poured in the hot cocoa mix, stirred, and giving Greer hers we headed back to the couch in the living room with our drinks.

"Alright…," I began. "So…what movie are you feeling?"

"Well…I've always had a soft spot for Aladdin," Greer answered.

"That's one of my favorites, too!" I agreed, smiling. Popping in the DVD, I continued, "In fact…we've probably watched it so much around here the disc might start skipping…"

"I'm sure we can find other things to do if that happens…," Greer said coyly, shooting me a playful glance over the brim of her mug.

Trying to hide my blush of embarrassment, I began nervously fiddling with the remote – navigating my way through the DVD menu. Pausing before clicking "Play", I turned to Greer: "Hey, I'm really sorry about tonight not going the way I planned. I know you said it was okay but…what with the delay…the carriage ride not happening...And besides, if your chicken actually _was_ pink in the middle you might not be feeling so hot in a little bit…"

Laughing, Greer said, "Bren, it's okay. Really. I'm having a _great_ time!" Taking my hand, she continued, "Like I said…just getting to spend time with you is special enough!"

Hitting "Play", I got up to turn off the living room lights and joined Greer back on the couch.

Playfully snatching the blanket away from her, I said, "I'll be taking **that**, thanks…"

"Uh…rude!" Greer said.

"Just kidding," I said. Smiling at her, I held up one end of the blanket to let her know I wasn't _entirely_ opposed to her moving closer to me. Getting the not-so-subtle hint, Greer cozied up to my side as I laid the blanket across both of us and wrapped my arm around her – resting my head atop hers.

As the movie played, I thought to myself…I could get used to this.

* * *

><p>1:30AM. The front door squeaked open as April and Beth entered – followed shortly by Sara. Noticing the two girls fast asleep in each other's arms and that April and Beth were grinning <strong>rather<strong> widely – Sara realized she was definitely _not_ in the know. That being said, the discussion she _wanted_ to have could certainly wait until the morning. Finding the TV remote in the screen's white and blue glow, Sara shut it off and everyone proceeded upstairs – the wooden boards of the steps creaking ever so slightly under their weight.

As they all made their way upstairs, Beth and April glanced at each other in a way they silently knew meant breakfast tomorrow morning might be more eventful than it usually is.

* * *

><p><strong>I was a bit busy these past few days but here's another update! Sorry it's long but I hope it's worth it! As always, thanks for reading. =)<strong>


	15. Breakfast With The Carver's

**Chapter 15 – Breakfast with the Carvers**

I blinked my eyes a few times until the world came into focus as I shifted from that just-woke-up state to one in which I was more alert. It's a Sunday morning, isn't it? It feels early. A clock on one of the end tables in our living room read 7:00AM and it was only then did I notice I awoke because someone was shoving me in the side.

"Brenna, wake up!" whispered Beth, as she continued to poke me. Wait, Beth? Why was she waking me up so early? Wait…what's that against my arm? Finally looking to my side, I saw it was Greer – sleeping peacefully, undisturbed by this recent commotion.

Then it dawned on me as I sprang to my feet – Greer falling over onto the spot of the couch I had vacated with a gentle _thud_. Crap! As I waited a few moments to see if she would wake up, she instead remained deep in her state of slumber. Sighing, I repositioned the blanket on top of her and slid a pillow under her head.

Turning toward Beth and before I could even get the words out, Beth spoke: "Yes, your mom saw."

"Crap!" I whispered in return. "This was definitely _not_ how I planned for Mom to find out."

"Well…she didn't grill us on anything so…there is the _incredibly slim_ chance she doesn't know anything," Beth tried to reason.

"Are you kidding?!" I whispered loudly – looking back at Greer to make sure she was still asleep. "How does Greer snuggled up against me look anything **but** suspicious?!"

"By the way," Beth began, "…You guys are **so** adora—"

"Beth! Focus!" I hissed. "Is Ape upstairs?"

Beth nodded, "Yeah yeah, she's in her room."

Grabbing Beth by the hand, we ran upstairs – as stealthily as we could, mind you. Brushing my teeth and splashing some cold water on my face, I met April and Beth in April's room.

"Okay, what do I do?!" I said, panicked, drying my face with small towel.

"So, like Beth said," April started, "…Mom could just…not have thought anything of the entire situation."

"Well…that ship has _definitely_ sailed," I said to them both. "Mom _definitely_ knows but now I don't know what to say to her. I have **no** idea where to begin!"

"Bren, why didn't you drop Greer off last night?" April asked.

"Well I would've but I didn't think we were gonna fall asleep watching the movie," I answered. "Also Greer's parents aren't really around so it's probably better that she hung out here anyway…"

"Well considering we can't go back in time and fix all that, what're we gonna do now?" Beth asked, hurriedly.

"I say…we play it off like it's nothing," April said, which surprised me.

"What?!" I said, shocked. "You're supposed to be the rational, grounded one in all this. You're supposed to tell me to be open and honest with Mom and tell her everything because it'll be better in the long run…"

"Well…do you _wanna_ do any of that?" asked April, already knowing my answer.

"No, not at all," I said matter-of-factly, throwing up my hands.

"I'm with Ape on this one," Beth chimed in. "We'll pretend we don't know anything about it so your mom doesn't feel bad being the last to know…and **you**…can just say it was nothing!"

"I seriously feel like that's not gonna work," I insisted. "Mom already knows I've been spending a lot of time with her **and** that I'm noticeably happier when I'm doing anything or saying anything about something that even _remotely_ involves Greer…"

"Well, it's worth a shot," said April. "If you dodge her questions enough maybe she'll let it go for now. Honestly, that might be what you need right now. You know…a little breathing room before Mom gets all Mom about your love life…like she normally does."

"Speaking of your love life," Beth began. "I think I hear your Mom stirring about and you left Greer downstairs…unattended."

"Crap!" I said, running down the stairs to wake Greer up.

Reaching the living room, I walked over to the couch and gently brushed Greer's hair out of her face.

"Greer," I whispered, hovering in front of her as I continued to brush strands of hair away from her eyes. "Greer, wake up."

As she began to awaken, she opened her eyes sleepily at first but soon with the same panic I had experienced just a few moments ago. Quickly sitting up, Greer took a look around and said: "Oh my God…did your mom—"

"Yeah, she saw," I said, cutting her off. "She might be coming down to the kitchen soon so run up the set of stairs by the front door. Ask April for a toothbrush and a towel when you get up there." I wanted to avoid Greer meeting my mom without April and Beth there. At least if we were all there, we could diffuse some of the awkward tension…

That being said, I'm sure there would be _**plenty**_ of awkwardness to go around this morning…

* * *

><p>I started making a pot of coffee for everyone by the time April and Beth came down the stairs. Mom wasn't <em>too<em> far behind them.

"Good morning, everyone," Mom said cheerfully. I couldn't read her expression, really. It seemed like April and Beth couldn't either because they simply stared at one another and then back at me rather blankly.

"Uhh, morning Mom," I said, somewhat pleasantly – trying not to give away the nervousness in my voice.

"Morning, Mrs. Carver," Beth said almost simultaneously.

"Beth, I didn't know you were staying over," Mom said – though I'm fairly sure that comment was intended for me and **my** unexpected houseguest.

"Oh yeah, I was gonna head home later last night but it just got to be kinda late, Mrs. C," Beth explained.

"Brenna," Mom began with a pause I could've thought lasted _years_ as I noticed April and Beth shift uneasily in their seats. "Will…Greer…be joining us for breakfast?"

"Um…yeah," I said, nodding. "She's just brushing her teeth and washing up…"

"Good," she said, smiling. "Pancakes and eggs, okay?"

"Yep…I think so," I said – still unsure of how to judge my mom's temperament.

"Actually…I would much rather _prefer_ french toast if you could," Beth said sincerely as I saw my mom roll her eyes at her. "Just kidding, Mrs. C!"

Thank God for Beth and her ability to lighten just about any situation. In a few moments, I heard the wooden steps creak and knew that meant Greer was coming downstairs. There was that queasy nausea, yet again. I'd say this was _definitely_ worse than first date jitters, though.

"Good morning, all!" Greer said cheerily. Andddd, we're off! This was either heading toward a trainwreck…or maybe we'd squeak out with our lives relatively intact.

"Heyyyyyy…," said April and Beth awkwardly – drawing out the word about ten seconds too long. They weren't the most inconspicuous people in the world…

"Good morning, Greer," said Mom calmly. "It's nice to finally meet you!"

"Likewise," said Greer, charmingly. Taking note of my mom setting out an extra plate she said, "You know, you don't have to worry about that, Dr. Carver. I can eat at home or something…"

Jumping at the chance to halt any further progression of events I practically shouted, "Yeah, I can take you home!"

April and Beth, of course, both glared at me as if to say: _Keep cool, Brenna_.

"No no no!" Mom protested. "It's really no bother at all. Have a seat!"

Trapped. We're trapped here.

"Sure," Greer said uneasily as she took a seat, looking at me for confirmation. I tried not to make eye contact, though, because the fewer the stolen glances…maybe the more likely my mom was to drop this whole matter. Wistful thinking, Brenna.

"Pancakes?" Mom asked Greer.

"I'd love some!" Greer said excitedly.

Making a plate for Greer, Mom began to speak again: "So…where do you live Greer?" I wondered to myself whether the question she really meant to ask was more along the lines of _What are you doing here, Greer?_ or _How often will I find you over for breakfast, Greer?_

"Um…just over on Arbor Drive," replied Greer.

"Ohhh," Mom said, seeming impressed. "Those houses are huge!"

"Yup, pretty big," agreed Greer, "...But…they can get lonely sometimes."

"What do your parents do?" asked Mom, earnestly. I felt like these questions were getting more and more personal and I wasn't sure how I felt about it or what direction we were going in. This was like a game of chess we never asked to play and winning depended solely on a strategy we had _no_ idea how to form.

"Well, they're both lawyers," Greer said, to which my mom raised her eyebrows. "They travel a lot for their law firm doing recruitment and something along the lines of consulting that I never _quite _understood, really. But…they're busy people."

Beth, April, and I all looked at each other with the same thought conveyed in our eyes. Should we jump in? Should we just watch and wait to see how Greer handles herself? Our continued silence seemed to indicate we chose the latter…

"I can imagine their absence might be hard on you," Mom said, seeming to show understanding. "Is that why you stayed over last night?"

Oh God. There it was. The elephant in the room had become **very** large and **very **apparent…**very **quick. How do we broach this? What do we do? What do I say? How do I save Greer from this? Was Mom mad? You know, I still couldn't read her…

"Oh, we were just hanging out and I guess we fell asleep watching the movie," Greer answered as if it was no big deal. Because…it _was_ no big deal, right? I mean…friends…cuddle together, on occasion...right?

Yeah right, Brenna.

"I was gonna drop her off after the movie, but yeah we fell asleep," I chimed in.

"Oh," said Mom. "What'd you guys do yesterday?"

She knows. She _definitely_ knows. I was wondering how long this prodding line of questioning was going to go on before Mom would give up and say: _Surprise! I already know!_

"Just grabbed some dinner and then came back to watch a movie," I said, trying to make it sound as low-key as possible. I wasn't about to say the original plan included a romantic carriage ride for two.

"Where at?" Mom asked, curiously.

"Farley's, actually!" Greer said, happily, taking another bite of her pancakes. Okay…if Mom didn't suspect anything before (which she **totally** did, let's be real) she does now. There was no way I would take just _anyone_ to Farley's and Mom was acutely aware of that. Almost in unison, April, Beth, and I took sips from our cups of coffee – staring respectively into our caffeinated abysses as if they were the most interesting things in the world.

"Well, that's a very important place to us, Greer," said Mom, smiling over at me. Okay…so she wasn't mad, it seemed. Was she…happy?

"Yup, Brenna told me all about it!" Greer affirmed, dimples and all.

"I did…do that," I said, nodding nervously.

A few more moments passed – though it seemed an eternity – as we all stared at our now-empty plates of food.

Finally breaking the silence, Mom said, "Well…Greer it was nice meeting you…but I gotta run to an aerobics class in a few."

"It was great meeting you, Dr. Carver," Greer smiled.

"Please, call me Sara," Mom said.

"Uhhh…I think I'll stick with Dr. Carver, for now," Greer said hesitantly though smiling.

"Maybe we can have you over for dinner sometime and we can get to talk some more?" Mom asked. "I would love to get to the know the girl Brenna's been **happily** spending so much time with…" The extra emphasis on 'happily' let me know Mom _was_ okay with the situation. Dare I say…she was happy _for_ me?

"Yeah, we'll figure out a good time," I hedged, looking over at Greer.

"Well, Greer…feel free to stick around but I gotta change and get going," Mom said as she put some dishes in the sink, kissed April and I on our foreheads, and ran up the stairs to her room.

"Well…that was pretty benign," said Beth, stating the obvious.

"Yeah, I'll say," I sighed – full of relief.

"Uh, Brenna," Greer began, "…Would you mind giving me a ride home?"

"No not at all," I said. "You sure you don't wanna stick around?"

"I mean I'd love to, but I gotta get some work done for tomorrow," Greer said.

Turning to Beth and April she said, "I'm sorry we never _quite_ met in all this mess but when I come over for dinner we can talk more if you guys are around?"

"Oh, we'll _definitely_ make sure we're around," Beth said – at which point April elbowed her in the side while clearing her throat.

"Right…on that note, I think we'll be heading out," I said to Greer, making my way to the front door to grab my coat and shoes.

Grabbing the car keys, I thought to myself that that breakfast did not go _at all_ how I expected it would.

And for that…I was pretty thankful.

* * *

><p>Pulling up to the curb outside Greer's house, I parked the car and waited a few moments in silence.<p>

"So…that wasn't so bad, right?" I asked Greer – obviously talking about the breakfast that could've been much, _much_ more of a disaster in other circumstances.

"Oh, _definitely_ not," Greer agreed. "Your mom was so cool about it."

"Yeah, you know…I'd say she was genuinely happy for me. For us, I guess."

"I mean…why wouldn't she be? I'm **pretty** amazing," Greer said, smiling.

"Yeah, you're alright," I said, shrugging. "Maybe next time we should give my mom a _little_ bit of warning, though."

"Or…we can just drink coffee _before_ watching movies and avoid the whole mom-walking-in-on-cuddle-sesh issue…" Greer suggested.

"Yeah, that works too," I said laughing, smiling at her as I noticed the bright morning sun highlighting her halo of blonde hair - only slightly a mess.

"So…normally…this is the point where you'd kiss me 'goodnight'," Greer began shyly, "…But—"

I leaned over the console and the armrest and hesitating for only a moment as I brought my hand up to cup her cheek, I kissed her gently but lingered long enough to let her know that I meant this kiss…and that it was _my_ turn to take her by surprise.

"Good morning, Greer," I said, grinning, as I pulled away – our faces still close.

"Good morning, Brenna."


	16. The Missing Talk

**Chapter 16 – The Missing Talk**

Closing the front door behind me, I threw the car keys in a little bowl on the table by the door and immediately noticed the aroma of freshly-made coffee. I guess Mom was back from her aerobics class already. Walking into the kitchen, I saw her taking a mug out of the dishwasher for herself.

"Oh hey, Bren," she started. "Do you want a cup?"

"Uhh, I'll take a mug," I said reaching over the kitchen island to grab one from my mother. "I think I'll make some tea, instead. Don't wanna get too wired…"

"Good thinking," Mom said, smiling.

"Where are April and Beth?" I asked.

"Oh, they just went out to do some shopping," Mom answered, to which I nodded in understanding.

"So…how was aerobics class?" I asked as I opened a cabinet to start sifting through our collection of teas.

"Well it started out good," Mom explained. "But…our instructor had to cut it short because she wasn't feeling well."

"Bummer," I said, frowning.

"Yep," Mom said, sipping her coffee slowly. She stayed quiet for a few moments as if she were dissatisfied with our conversation revolving around meaningless things. I didn't blame her. I think we were both dancing around what we _really_ wanted to talk about.

As we both attempted to say something at once – resulting in a clash of consonants – Mom paused and said, "You first."

"I just wanted to say thanks, Mom," I said simply.

"For what, Bren?" Mom asked.

"You know…," I started. "…for not like…being mad or whatever."

"Being mad?" she asked as if she wanted me to elaborate further.

"You know…'cause Greer stayed over and I never really asked you if she could," I said. "Thanks for inviting her back over for dinner."

"I mean…a little warning next time wouldn't be such a terrible thing," Mom said, joking though with just a hint of _I-mean-it_ in her voice.

"Definitely," I said, pausing before speaking again. "I know it meant a lot to Greer to spend time with a _family_ for once. She probably spends a lot of dinners and breakfasts alone in her house."

Mom nodded with a small, sympathetic smile - letting me know she understood the difficulties of Greer's situation.

"Brenna, you've changed **so much** with everything going on from Dad to April," Mom began.

"I know Mom…I'm sorry I didn't handle it better," I apologized.

"No, Brenna…that's not what I mean," she said. "I mean to have dealt with all that…and to be _dealing_ with all that…is no small thing for someone who's just trying to figure out high school! Maybe it was rough at first, but you've really stepped up for this family the past few weeks and I know Ape appreciates it. **I **appreciate it."

"Mom—," I began. I wanted to tell her I didn't feel like the hero she was making me out to be. I still have so much to figure out and sometimes I feel like I'm just fumbling my way through life day by day.

"To see you care about Greer the way you do…," Mom continued. "To see you thinking of _her _happiness…to be _excited_ to spend time with her…is **amazing**! Brenna…I'm so happy you've found someone who means this _much_ to you – someone who **obviously** adores you. To stand in the way of that would be…ridiculous!"

I didn't know what to say so I just fiddled with the tea bag I had picked out of the cabinet. The only thing I could think of was to thank her again: "Thanks—"

"Oh, Brenna," Mom said coming over to wrap me in a warm hug. "You **_never_ **have to thank me for being proud of you, for praising you endlessly, for letting you be with who **you** want to be with."

I still didn't know what to say so I just smiled at her – beamed, actually.

"I love you," she said. "I will **always** love and support you. No matter what. I'm your mother, Brenna, and that's my job."

Continuing to smile at my mom, I finally asked, "So…when can we do this dinner all together?"

"Well…when your grandmother gets back from her trip to Providence," she replied. "_She'd_ want to meet Greer, for sure."

"Sounds good," I said, sipping from my cup of tea. "More importantly, though…you think it's that obvious Greer likes me?"

Laughing, my mom feigned a look of dramatic thoughtfulness as she stirred her cup of coffee some more before answering: "**So** obvious."


	17. Study Break

**Chapter 17 – Study Break**

It was the first week of December.

Boston had just had its first snow about a week or so ago. Although, I'm not so sure you'd call it a snow…There _were_ some furious flurries, however. Living in Boston, though, meant we were certainly in store for quite a few snows (legit snows, mind you) and this winter was probably gearing up to be one of the snowiest. I guess depending on who you are, that was either a good thing or a terrible thing. Me, though? I didn't mind the snow. I actually quite loved the winter and the holidays were sort of a big deal around the Carver household. Last year was different, of course. With Dad's passing, the Carvers hadn't really been feeling the Christmas cheer.

I was hoping _this_ year would be different, though.

Turning the cup of coffee in front of me in circles, I glanced at the clock to see it was 6:00PM. Greer should be getting here soon...

Greer and I thought we'd spend the evening studying here. School was getting pretty busy with mid-terms coming up and we hadn't really seen each other in a little while because of that.

What was I saying before? Oh, yes. So…I was _hoping_ this year would be different.

Greer's parents were home this year for Thanksgiving so we each decided to do dinner with our own families rather than something together. Besides, how often does Greer get to see her own parents anyway? Not often, that's for sure. Just a few weeks ago, though, when Grams returned from her trip, we finally had Greer over for dinner.

A normal dinner.

Not a _What is who gonna say next?_ sort of dinner but an actual _Let's get to know this girl_ kind of dinner.

And Mom was definitely right. Grams was _super_ excited to meet Greer and just as Mom, April, and Beth have been, she was incredibly supportive and really showed a genuine interest in learning more about her. I think the more time they spend with her, the more they'll realize how amazing she is. I mean…**I **think she's amazing. I could be biased, though…

But…she's smart, funny, caring, _beautiful_, and she's—

_**Here**_.

"Hi," I said, smiling at her as she sat down next to me on the ledge by the bay window. Our favorite bay window.

"Hi," she said, smiling back, surprising me with a kiss on the cheek as I was distracted by my coffee for _just_ a moment.

"How was your day?" I asked, still smiling at her, setting the cup down.

"Not too bad," she said, shrugging. "We just got an assignment in Econ for this _huge_ presentation due next week…**On top** of all the other craziness we have to turn in before Christmas break…"

"You know if you're too stressed, we don't have to study together tonight," I reasoned. "I totally understand if you wanna go home and work on stuff…"

"Well," Greer began leaning in closer, making certain I was paying attention this time as she delicately lifted my chin.

"You _can_ be pretty distracting," she whispered, her face poised before mine as she stalled in making the move I hoped she would make…

So close I could smell her vanilla lip balm, the faint lavender scent of the shampoo she had used. So close I could hear the quick rise in her heartbeat and with each pick-up I could feel my own growing faster. A symphony (a duet, actually) of heartbeats – playing _one_ beautiful song to a tempo so slow I would've thought time had stopped. So close I could tell the difference between the blush she had put on and the blush that was now stealing its way onto her cheeks. Just close enough that our noses brushed one another as our lips met in a union I could only describe as perfection.

"Sorry, but…" I began as I pulled away, taking her hand in mine. "…_definitely_ not sorry."

Looking down at our hands, I paused for a moment wondering if I should continue…and what Greer's reaction to my soon-to-be-made request would be…

"What're you doing for Winter break this year?" I blurted out, clearly catching Greer off-guard as I noticed she furrowed her eyebrows.

"Uhhh," Greer began, unsure of how to answer. "I'm not sure, really…"

"Are your parents gonna be home this year?" I inquired.

"Uhhh, I think so," she answered, still clearly wondering what I was getting at. "I don't think we're traveling or anything…probably just staying in Boston. Why?"

"Well," I began awkwardly. I could feel my palms getting sweatier, so I took my hand out from under hers and resigned myself to twiddling my thumbs – my eyes glued to the floor.

Nudging me in the side, Greer asked, "Brenna, what is it?"

"How do you feel about…," I started slowly, "…coming over to my house for dinner on Christmas Eve?"

"Oh," Greer said, plainly.

"I mean, I don't wanna stress you out," I said. "I know the holidays are **the** _Holidays_…and I don't want this to be like a big deal or anything. If you think it's too early to do like…holiday dinners together…that's cool. I mean…we _did_ just start dating so I don't wanna like…force this on you—"

"Brenna," Greer said to halt my rambling. "Relax. I would _love_ to."

"Oh," I sighed with relief, my anxiety practically vanishing.

"Speaking of dinner…", Greer began, "…How 'bout you do dinner with **my** parents and I New Year's Day? They're curious to meet you…"

"You told them about me?!" I asked in surprise, though perhaps the dramatic urgency in my tone was a bit uncalled for.

"I mean…we do spend **a lot** of time together, Bren," Greer said, chuckling. "I think they would've found out anyway…"

"Oh, right," I said feeling somewhat stupid. It didn't so much surprise me that Greer's parents knew about me as much as it _terrified_ me that they knew about me. It made sense, obviously, that Greer would tell her parents about me. We _have_ been spending a lot of time together. Now, though, there was a little bit of unspoken pressure on me to make a good impression once I meet them. What if they don't like me? What if I don't like _them_? What if they don't think I'm good enough for their daughter?

"Bren, don't worry," Greer reassured me, realizing the prospect of meeting her parents was probably sending me into a downward spiral of stress. "They'll like you!"

"Do they…know much about me?" I asked, suddenly terrified they knew my entire life story though I knew Greer would never tell them anything I didn't want to tell them myself.

"Bren, I would never tell them anything you didn't want me to," Greer said, sounding a little disappointed that I would ask such a question. "You know that, right?"

"Sorry, sorry," I quickly apologized, squeezing her hand gently. "I know you wouldn't do that. I'm just nervous, is all."

"I know, I know," Greer said in understanding. "I know I can keep telling you not to worry…but you're probably _still_ going to worry. But…just try, okay?"

"Yeah," I said, solemnly. "I'll try."

"We've still got _plenty_ of time before that," Greer said. "So…how about we get some studying done because these mid-terms are gonna be a **nightmare**?"

"By studying you mean…" I started to say, smiling coyly, as she leaned in for another kiss.

Everyone needs a study break, right?

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the super delayed update! I know this one's a bit short but I guess it's kinda setup for what's to come. Thanks again for reading and everything else! Enjoy! =D<strong>


	18. Christmas Eve

**Chapter 18 – Christmas Eve**

December 23rd.

The night _before_ the night before Christmas.

I can't wait for tomorrow's dinner. For one, it'll be the first Christmas dinner _without_ Dad where we are actively trying to enjoy ourselves. Second…it'll be the first holiday dinner with Greer _and_ my family.

Look at me. I'm saying 'first' like it's the 'first' of many holiday dinners with Greer and my family…when I was _trying_ to make this whole "holiday dinner" thing...**not**...a thing. I didn't really want to put so much weight on this dinner – so much pressure. But…here I am, making it sound like I _know_ there'll be more holiday dinners with Greer when that's something I can't **possibly** know. Maybe there will be – and of course, I wouldn't mind that. But…maybe there won't be.

This is all so new to me. More often than I would like, I have to remind myself that we're taking this relationship slow – that we're just seeing where this goes. Judging by the odd looks I get from others every now and again, I sometimes think I might be reminding myself _aloud_.

All that being said, I think I'm allowed to be excited about tomorrow night. Regardless of what it may or may not mean, I think my family deserves a carefree night. **I **deserve a carefree night.

**Me:** True or False – You're excited about tomorrow night.

…

**Greer:** True.

_Greer is typing…_

**Greer:** Easiest test question ever. =)

**Me:** Huh?

…

**Greer: **I got some of my grades back and I did NOT do so hot on some exams…

**Me: **Wait, what? But you're like…a genius…

**Greer:** Yeah, not my best work…

**Me: **What happened?

…

Greer's grades had slipped? She _never_ does poorly in school. Did something happen? Was I _actually_ a distraction? I know how important doing well in school is to Greer and the last thing I would want to do is jeopardize that…

**Greer:** Nothing, really. I guess I just didn't study enough…

**Me:** But…you usually study TOO much. =/

**Greer:** I guess not this time.

_Greer is typing…_

**Greer:** Enough about school, though…

**Greer:** Whatcha up to?

**Me:** WELL…I wanted to knowwww how you felt about trying to cook dinner for tomorrow night?

**Greer:** UHHH…considering the last time I tried to cook I caused a small (well-controlled) fire in the kitchen…does that change your question?

**Me: **We DO have a fire extinguisher, you know.

**Greer:** Guess not, then…

**Me: **=)

**Me:** It'll be fun! Besides there's like a bajillion recipes online we can just go from.

**Me:** How hard could it be?

**Greer:** Okayyyyy…if you say so… =P

**Me:** I mean, don't feel forced or anything…

**Greer:** No no, it's okay!

**Greer:** I wanna do whatever YOU wanna do!

**Me:** Good. Come over at like 2?

**Greer:** You got it, Bren. =D

I thought I couldn't be more excited about tomorrow…but…

I was wrong.

* * *

><p>December 24th.<p>

Christmas Eve.

1:30PM(ish). I've had what I'd like to call a bit of a – _lazy_ – morning so far. I woke up around 10:00AM, had some breakfast by around 11AM, and then sat on the couch for a bit before deciding to head out for a jog.

Oddly enough, I was the only one at home and the only explanation for my loneliness was a note on the kitchen island letting me know the others had gone out for last-minute Christmas shopping. I mean…it was the day before Christmas…Are there even stores open for last-minute shopping? And if there were…would they even find anything? Whatever…

The jog, by the way, was probably my worst decision this morning because it was _way_ colder than I had anticipated and I could have stood to wear about four more layers of clothes. Also…exercise? That usually wasn't in my repertoire of leisurely activities so you could imagine how painful it actually was…

All that aside, I got back in the house around 12:30PM, took a shower…and now I'm here…staring into my closet – a black hole of clothes, essentially – wondering why I had never really gotten around to organizing it. Not that I had time for that, right now…

My primary concern at this point was to pick something out to wear because Greer was going to get here _any_ minute now. So do I go for cute…or…festive…?

In a fit of impulsivity I went with a sweater April once borrowed for an 'Ugly Sweater Party'.

**I** preferred to think of it as 'adorkable'. I'm sure Greer will agree…

::_dingggg_::

"Coming!" I yelled excitedly as I flew down the stairs, tripping on the last step and lunging forward to use the doorknob of the front door as my all-too-_unsuitable_ saving grace – landing with a slight _thud!_ on the floor.

Straightening my clothes as I rose from the ground and immediately opening the door, I said blankly, "Hi!"

"Uhhh, what was that?" Greer said, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh, it was nothing," I scoffed, not-so-smoothly.

Laughing, Greer noted, "Cute sweater, Bren," as she took one look at my haphazardly patterned holiday sweater.

"I thought you might like it," I said, smiling. "Anywayyyy…come on in," I said, ushering her into the warmth of my house.

"Where's everybody else?" Greer asked taking note of how unusually quiet it was in the Carver household currently.

"Apparently…last-minute shopping?" I said – closing the door – as if I didn't quite believe that's what they were doing – and judging by Greer's expression I'm certain she didn't believe it either.

"Well…then we have plenty of time," Greer began as she inched toward me, _my_ back soon against the front door. Her hands on my hips, she leaned in close to my ear as she whispered, "…to cook."

Giggling, she ran into the kitchen, as I sighed – rolling my eyes. What a tease!

Locking the front door, I soon joined her in the kitchen.

"Alright…," I began. "So…Mom said there's a turkey already defrosting and all the supplies we could need for the other stuff are in the kitchen…_somewhere_."

"Solid…" Greer said skeptically, taking a look around.

"We got this!" I said reassuringly – though I think it was more to convince _myself_ rather than to convince her.

Taking out my iPad, I quickly looked up a recipe for how to prepare the turkey and Greer got to work on the mashed potatoes.

"I mean…really…how hard could this be?" I asked, somewhat rhetorically, in an aside.

"Uh, Bren," Greer began with hesitation.

"Yeah?" I responded.

"Do you think you should…pre-heat the oven to something a teensy bit higher than 200 degrees?" she asked with a hint of sincerity.

"Huh?" I asked, glancing over at the oven to find that I, indeed, did not set it to the right temperature. "Oh…yeah."

Yeah…this _might_ be more difficult than I thought.

* * *

><p>"We're home!" my Mom shouted, coming through the front door with Grams, April, and Beth. As they walked in I could have sworn I heard the faint ruffling of plastic bags but when I went to join them in the foyer, I didn't see anything.<p>

"Where's April?" I asked, looking around for her because I thought I had heard her voice just seconds ago but currently, she was nowhere to be found.

"Oh, she just ran upstairs to drop some stuff off in her room," Mom answered.

"Smells **interesting**, Brenna," Grams said.

"Oh c'mon, Grams," I said. "You haven't even tried what we made, yet!"

"Yeah, Mom," Mom said to Grams as they made their way into the dining room. "Couldn't kill us to try it…"

"Oh, but it _could_," Beth said, sarcastically.

"Alright, alright, all of you," I said, ushering them into the dining room to take their seats at the table.

You know…I'm not sure what any of the food we made is going to taste like but I'd say we did a good job of setting the table so at least it _looked_ pretty.

"And before we all eat…" I began as April finally joined us in the dining room. "I wanna give a big thanks to my sous-chef…Greeeer Danville!"

Entering the dining room with a pot of our gourmet mashed potatoes, Greer half-curtsied before setting the dish down on an open spot on the table. I say "gourmet"…but maybe the only "gourmet" thing about this dish is the pot we put it in…

"Well thank you girls for **all** your effort!" Mom said as she rose from her chair to give Greer and I both a hug before we took our own seats at the table.

Sitting down, I declared, "Okay then…let's eat!"

As Beth began to carve the turkey, we soon realized it was still _mostly_ raw on the inside. Mom served the mixed vegetables which were also…undercooked…to the say the least. In fact, the only thing that turned out half-way decent was the mashed potatoes – though they could have been a little less salty.

"Uhhh…," I began, unsure of what to say next.

"Brenna, it's okay," Mom said.

"We're really sorry," Greer chimed in.

"Greer, it's okay," Mom repeated. "Really."

"Girls, we're just glad you tried," Grams said.

"Besides, we thought something like this might happen," Beth said casually.

"Hey!" I said, in mock offense. I really couldn't blame them for thinking we might not be as successful as we hoped to be. "Way to have faith in us…"

"Ape?" Beth said.

"Be right back," April said as she left the table to run up to her room.

"Wait, what?" I asked, looking at Greer, noting I was clearly _not_ in the know but that Greer didn't look as surprised as I thought she should be.

As I saw April come down with plastic bags full of what seemed to be food, I looked over at Greer and asked, "Did you know about this?"

With a guilty expression she hedged, "I **may** have…"

"You guys bought back-up food because you thought I was gonna mess this dinner up?" I asked standing from my seat, this time addressing the room and perhaps with a hint of genuine offense taken. "_That's_ where you were all day?"

"No, that's not it, Bren," Mom said as April took out new dishes and plates for the other food to be set out. "I mean..._yes_ we were out getting food but not all day. We wanted to give you guys some space to cook without us breathing down your necks. It's not that we were _counting_ on you to fail..."

"Kinda looks like it," I said, crossing my arms, getting progressively more frustrated and upset – perhaps on the verge of tears. "Looks like you **didn't** trust me to make this dinner."

"Brenna, we saw how excited you were about this dinner," Greer began. "They just wanted to give you a chance to make it as great as you wanted it to be and if you fell short a bit, that's okay."

As I saw Mom and Grams nod at me in earnest, I couldn't fight back the tears any longer. In a whirlwind of frustration and disappointment, I ran up the stairs to my room – unable to pinpoint exactly why I was so upset but now utterly humiliated that I made a scene at the dinner table.

Back in the dining room, Greer made a move to join me upstairs but April motioned for her to stay seated as she got up instead. "I got this one," April said as she came upstairs to find me.

* * *

><p>::<em>knock-knock<em>::

Lying on my side on my bed, I lifted my head to see the door swing open a tiny bit and April wave a small table napkin up and down: "I come in peace…"

"Come in," I said glumly, sitting up on the edge of my bed, one leg folded under the other.

Sitting down next to me, April paused for a few moments before saying, "You wanna talk, bud?"

"What's there to talk about?" I said sadly, staring at my hands in my lap. "I basically made a fool of myself…"

"Well, maybe we can start there," April said.

Seeing I wasn't going to readily offer an explanation, April continued, "Why are you so upset?"

"I don't know," I said. But I _did_ know.

"Does this…have anything to do with Dad?" April asked, sincerely.

I waited a long time before answering and soon realized if I wasn't able to talk about this now…then when? April was right when she said I shouldn't just bottle things up, locking them away until I reach some sort of proverbial breaking point.

"This has **everything** to do with Dad," I said, my voice breaking as I began to cry.

April swung her arm around me and moved closer so that I could rest my head on her shoulder. Through the tears, I continued, "Since he's been gone, nothing's felt the same. I mean, things started to seem better for a bit, but I just wanted this dinner to be perfect. You know…the way it always was when he was around."

"Bren, that's a lot of pressure to put on yourself," April said, comfortingly. "Of course things are gonna be different. They might _never_ be the same and it's not **all** on you to make sure they are."

As I remained quiet, April continued, "Brenna, it's okay to need help. You don't have to be so strong _all _the time. I know you've really stepped up for this family in the past few months but it's okay to be upset. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to…say…need people to buy back-up food for when your holiday dinner plans go bad."

"Hey, the mashed potatoes showed promise though," I argued, playfully, sitting up.

"Yeah they weren't half-bad," April agreed. "Greer did those?"

"Yeah, I had **nothing** to do with those," I said.

"Thank God, for that," April said, laughing.

"Hey!" I said, shoving her lightly as we heard another _knock-knock_ at the door.

"Can I come in?" asked a tiny voice from outside my door that I knew to be Greer's.

"Don't be mad at her," April whispered, giving me one more hug before heading out and letting Greer in.

With a sheepish smile on her face, Greer sat down next to me on the edge of the bed, and simply said, "Hi."

"Hi," I said, smiling back.

We sat in silence for a little while before she spoke: "I'm really sorry, Bren. I should've told you."

"What? No, don't be sorry," I said. "I'm not mad at anyone. Disappointed in myself and a little embarrassed, maybe, but **definitely** not mad at you guys."

"We wanted the dinner to be perfect," Greer began. "Just like you did."

"I know," I said. "And I appreciate that."

"So…talked it through with April?" Greer asked, taking my hand in hers.

"Yeah," I said, smiling, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "All better."

"Good," she said, smiling back.

Waiting a few moments before continuing, Greer nervously said, "I asked your Mom if I could be the first to give you a gift. She told me you guys normally like to open one on Christmas Eve and I only got you the one gift, though. You can open it now or…you know, tomorrow. Whatever you wanna do...but I hope you like it."

"Ooohh, now now! I'll open it now!" I said excitedly as Greer, laughing, took out a little envelope from her back-pocket.

Wondering what it could be, I slowly and carefully peeled back the top-flap, and pulled out a horse-shaped ornament with a beautiful, shimmering golden-trim. On it was engraved _Christmas Eve 2014_ and a small message written in cursive: "_Greer Danville cordially invites you, Brenna Carver, for a horse-drawn carriage ride along the harbor"_.

"I wanted to give you something to remember our first Christmas together," Greer spoke as I looked over the ornament in my hands. "It's sort of a bonus that you can hang it on your tree, too. And…maybe selfishly...I **also** still want to go on that carriage ride. The company I got it from said we could it use it anytime, really, so we never—"

I caught her mid-sentence as I leaned in to kiss her gently – letting her know I loved this gift. Greer, though, was perhaps a gift I loved even more – but maybe it was too early to say it.

Getting up to pull the gift **I** had gotten for Greer out of one of my drawers, I said, "I got you something too."

Handing her a wrapped, rectangular-shaped object, I watched as she delicately removed the bow and then the wrapping paper. Peeling away at the folds, she uncovered a large frame – containing what appeared to be a menu. In fact, it was the menu from our first date at Farley's. I had Jimmy write the date on there to commemorate the occasion.

"Brenna, is this…?" Greer asked, looking over the menu and then looking back at me for an answer.

"Yep," I confirmed. "It's the menu from our first date. You know…the disaster of a date that turned out to be _not_ such a disaster after all."

Continuing to stare down at it, Greer noticed a small photo contained in the corner of the frame. A photo of us.

"Wait, who took this?" Greer asked.

"I asked Jimmy to take a photo of us while we were having dinner that night," I explained. "I wanted something candid – something where we looked genuinely happy. Something to remember the date by. Posed pictures always seem so fake. I wanted something real because...Well, because...this is **real**."

"I love…" Greer began to say before catching herself on her own words. "I love **_it_**."

Greer looked up from the frame and our eyes met. She knew that _**I**_ knew she almost said what _**I**_ had almost wanted to say – aloud. I looked into her eyes, though, still wondering if it was perhaps too early to say those three little words – and simply smiled instead. Greer stared at me intensely for a few moments – at which point I thought she was _about_ to say those words to me – before she just said, "Should we go back down?"

"Uhhh, yeah," I said, realizing we still hadn't had dinner and curious to see what they had bought and from where. As I took her hand in mine, we both stood to leave my room.

"By the way," I began. "What's for dinner with your parents on New Year's?"

"Oh, don't worry," Greer said. "They're ordering food from a local restaurant. There's _very_ little we could do to mess that up."

"Oh, good," I said, sighing with relief.

Then again, dinner with Greer's parents came with an onslaught of many _**other **_stresses.

* * *

><p><strong>I, again, apologize that the updates are getting more spaced out but I hope hope hope I'll be betterfaster with the next one. As always, I hope y'all enjoy! **


	19. Patching Up

**Chapter 19 – Patching Up**

4:00PM. Greer said she was out running errands all day so she might be a little late to our coffee date this evening at 99 Café. You know, I never quite asked her what errands she was running but when Greer says "errands", I quite often think she just means she's shopping. There are a **ton** of after-Christmas sales going on – none of which I particularly care for – and Greer is very _business_-y about her shopping extravaganzas so I don't really blame her for not inviting me along…if that's indeed what she's doing.

When I say "business-y", I mean Greer usually has the pages of department store flyers flagged down with Post-It notes of all shades. She plans her route through the mall on shopping days down to the bathroom breaks – because, obviously – no second can be wasted. One minute too long in the line at the Starbucks and you can kiss your cashmere scarf goodbye. As a person who likes to dilly-dally through the mall…if I even go…it's probably best I'm not accompanying her.

"Friends who brunch together, lunch together" said the little cardboard slip on my cup of coffee. You know…that thing that you slip on the cup so it doesn't burn your hands? There's probably a name for that. Staring down at my cup, I didn't notice Greer scurry in and sit across from me at our table. Instead of her usual _excited-to-see-Brenna_ facial expression, she had on one that was more…_don't-kill-me-Brenna._

"Don't kill me, Brenna," Greer began – her nose scrunched and eyebrows furrowed as if she were trying to hold some impending scolding at bay.

"Um…hello to you, too?" I shrugged, eyebrows raised. "Why would I want to kill you?"

"I may have done something…that you may _not_ have wanted me to do…" Greer explained in that _beating-around-the-bush_ sort of way that I usually found adorable but currently found a tad irksome.

"Okay…." I said hesitantly, wondering what _on Earth_ she could have possibly done that would make me angry…

"I…_kinda_-ran-into-Ford-at-the-mall-and-told-her-to-meet-us-here-because-I-said-I-was-gonna-be-here-with-you-and-that-you-two-should-talk-about-whatever-happened-and-stuff…" she blurted out hastily in what seemed to be one breath. Maybe…**half** of one breath.

Waiting in silence, I finally said, "Ford was at the mall?"

"_**That's**_ what you took away from what I just said?!" Greer said in surprise – though her surprise seemed to be bordering a bit on frustration. Maybe she had expected me to flip out on her in some sort of dramatic scene or something but oddly enough, I wasn't all that miffed about this recent turn of events. Though…I was curious as to why Greer – of all people – was trying to coordinate our reunion when Ford was **nothing** but nasty to her.

"Oh, well…that other stuff," I began. "Uh…so…she's coming here?"

"Yeah," Greer said curtly.

"Like…now?" I asked, wondering how many minutes…or seconds…I had remaining before Ford would be gracing us with her presence.

"Pretty soon, yeah," Greer nodded, with a sense of urgency now.

"So…you thought this was a _good_ idea?" I asked her, in a tone that was a little more condescending than I had intended.

"She was your best friend, Bren," Greer reasoned.

"She _was_," I nodded in agreement, careful to place an amount of emphasis on 'was' that suggested I was still mad at Ford for how she treated Greer and the way she acted but not enough to mean I was decidedly holding a grudge against her for the rest of our Earthly lives. "She was horrible to you, Greer."

"She was," Greer agreed, nodding again.

"So…," I said, hopefully leading Greer to more of an explanation than she was currently providing.

"You can't deny that she was your best friend," Greer said, shrugging her shoulders. "Even though she's been…kinda a jerk…you shouldn't throw away your friendship."

"I'm not throwing anything away, Greer," I said. "She changed. She's not the same Ford I knew years ago."

"And that happens, Brenna. People change and so can friendships. You don't have to abandon ship…you can just let your friendship…I don't know…adapt."

I silently stared at her – both thankful that she was even attempting to patch things up between Ford and I but also wondering where this was coming from. Ford really had been nothing but mean to her so far and truthfully…I couldn't really see that changing. So…why was Greer so optimistic that things would change? How did Greer even get Ford to come here?

Then a thought I had neglected to think finally dawned on me. How could I have not thought to ask this sooner?

"Greer," I began, my voice wrought with nervousness. "Does Ford even know…?"

"No," Greer said quickly.

"You didn't let me finish…" I chimed in.

"About us?" Greer said in an aside…not really waiting for my comment before she answered her own question: "No."

"Okay…so…", I said unsure of what issue to tackle first as I imagined the _many_ different ways this could go. "So…she's coming here to…supposedly be my friend again after an argument that revolved largely around…_you_. At the **same** time, I'm supposed to tell her that we're not _just_ friends but we're actually **dating**…and have been…for some time now. And then she's going to just be okay with that?"

"Okay, well…way to make it sound like it's **my** fault you two aren't talking to each other," Greer said, her voice laced with a bit of hurt.

"No, Greer," I sighed. "That's not what I meant."

Taking her hand in mine, I continued, "I just don't know that this is gonna work. I love that you're doing this for me…but…if Ford could barely handle the idea of us as friends, I don't know how she's gonna deal with _this_. I** want** her to be okay with this and for you two to get along – but I just don't think that'll happen."

"It doesn't hurt to try," Greer urged. "People can surprise you, you know."

"Yeah," I said in agreement – but in a way that also expressed my stubbornness in agreeing with her.

"And you know what, maybe she already knows about us. It's not like we try super hard to hide the fact that we're together around school," Greer said – once again being the voice of reason – gently gliding her thumb over the back of my hand.

"Yeah, I know," I said – almost happy at the thought of having one less thing to "break" to Ford. A little less awkwardness is always okay, in my book.

"Anyway, I'm gonna go kill some time at the bookstore across the street," Greer said – smiling as soon as she noticed the worried look I had on my face realizing she was about to leave me alone with Ford. "Just don't kill each other before I get back."

"Not funny, Greer," I said, looking at her with pleading eyes.

"Brenna, it's gonna be _fine_," she said as she kissed me on the cheek and headed out the door.

"Great," I muttered to myself – waiting anxiously for Ford to come through the store's front door.

I had **no** idea how this was going to go. _Absolutely_ no idea. We had left things…pretty much…as they were. We didn't make anything worse by, should I say, "breathing new life" into our argument. Nor…did we go out of our way to make anything better. We had just kept to ourselves – putting a friendship that had lasted _years_ on hold indefinitely…or maybe even tossing it aside entirely.

If you were talking to Brenna's Pride it would say that I wasn't too crushed over what happened – and that maybe I was better for it. I couldn't keep a friend that was going to hate my other friends – well…my _girlfriend_. Right?

If you were talking to Brenna's Conscience it would say how guilty it felt about how things ended. It would probably express immeasurable regret over not convincing Brenna – Just Brenna – to do something about this sooner…instead of waiting for Greer to get involved…quite possibly…the _last_ person I thought would step in to try to help us fix things.

But…who knows if this will even fix…anything?

"Hey," a familiar voice said flatly, as I noticed Ford sit down across from me. Wow…I must have been so lost in my own thoughts I didn't even notice her come in.

"Hey," I said with a weak, tight-lipped smile.

"How have you been?" Ford asked, her voice quiet and not laced with nearly as much Ford-patented obnoxiousness as I was accustomed to. I guess this is how we were going to play it. Small talk – skirting around what _really _mattered, huh?

"Okay," I replied blankly. "You?"

"Okay."

Well…this is awkward. A few more minutes passed as I aimlessly traced circles with my finger on the surface of this already-apparently-worn-down table.

"So…" I coaxed, hoping this would prompt something from Ford.

"So."

"We…sorta left things…badly," I said – an understatement of the most understatement-y kind.

"Yeah," she nodded, not making eye contact at all.

"I was gonna text you," I said. I wasn't _totally_ lying, either…

"But you didn't."

"I didn't."

"Why didn't you?" she asked.

"C'mon, Ford," I said. "You know why."

"Right…"

"You bagged on Greer without even giving her a chance," I pressed further.

"You can't _honestly_ tell me she's not the **exact** type of person we used to make fun of, Brenna."

"Fine…she's _exactly_ the type of person we used to make fun of," I agreed. "…**used** to make fun of."

"You've changed a lot, Brenna."

"Yeah, I have," I said boldly. "And...I don't hate it. Maybe I used to join you in making fun of the popular kids - or anyone else for that matter - but maybe, right now…that's not something I really care about doing anymore."

"So what…she changed you or something?" Ford asked flippantly.

"Maybe," I shrugged. "A little bit. But it wasn't _all_ Greer. I think with whatever happened – with my Dad…with April – I don't really look at things the same way. I used to be miserable, Ford. Like…failing-classes-don't-give-a-crap-could-care-less _miserable_. I spent so much time walking around with my head down that I missed so many chances to just be happy…or at least _try_. You have **no** idea how good it feels to be there for my family. Yeah, it's scary sometimes. I **never** know what's gonna happen next with April. But…to know that **she** knows that I'm there for her…it's a really good feeling, Ford. I wasn't upset with you _just_ because you were mean to Greer. Yeah, that was part of it. But at _that_ time, I had started to be happier – started to discover things I really enjoy. It was like you were shunning me at a point when I _finally_ started to think things could be better. Best friends don't do that, Ford."

"But I miss the old Brenna," Ford said sadly after some time, looking down at her lap.

And in that instance, I felt sorry for her. In the past few months alone I had gone through so many changes in my life, my behavior, my moods – my entire attitude! I was becoming a different person – a better version of myself, I'd like to think. But when I fought with Ford…I left her right where she was. I left her behind.

"But I couldn't be that person for much longer," I reasoned. "People have to change, Ford. You've changed a lot too, you know. Since we were little…"

She looked at me for a while – not speaking – and for a few moments, I thought I had offended her somehow. I assure you, though, that wasn't my intention.

"You should give her a chance, Ford," I said – knowing that what was coming next might erase what little progress I **thought** I just made. "Because we're not _just_ friends."

"Yeah, I know," Ford said nonchalantly after a pause.

"Wait…what?!" I said, much louder than I had anticipated and loud enough to warrant a few stares from other people in the shop.

"I mean…everyone at Charton knows everything about everyone else," Ford said, as if this were as commonplace as sunrises.

"So…you knew…this whole time?" I asked – my question leaving me feeling as if I were grasping for something just always out of reach.

"Mmm…for a while," she stewed.

"And…you didn't say anything?" I asked – with that same dissatisfied feeling. "I thought you'd make a big deal out of this…"

"Do you **want** me to make a big deal out of this?" Ford asked, half-chuckling.

"So…it's _not_ a big deal?" I asked, still incredulous that the conversation we were having was going…the way it was going.

"I mean…when I first found out, I felt a little betrayed," Ford said. "One, because it was _her_. But two, because it kinda hurt that you wouldn't tell me about it. Then again, we _had_ just had a fight so..."

"And now?" I asked.

"Well…it's been a while since I found out," Ford stated, raising her eyebrows. "And her coming up to me in the mall and telling me to meet you was…both surprising and…_sickeningly_ sweet…"

"Yeah…she can be pretty sweet," I said, smiling down at my hands – feeling myself blush.

"Ugh, well if I'm going to tolerate her you can't be all _this_," Ford said, wagging an accusatory finger in my direction.

"All what?" I asked, sort of offended.

"You know…," she said batting the air in front of her with a hand gesture to suggest I _should _know.

"All **swoon-y**," she continued with about 5 'O's in the word.

"I am **not!**" I said, defensively.

And just like that, I could see flashes of our old friendship shining through. Maybe this would be okay, after all?

Ford just laughed at me and smiled before glancing at her watch in the _time-to-leave_ sort of way.

"Heading out?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna get going," she nodded, scooting her chair back and standing before me – ready to leave.

"Ford, are we okay?" I asked, unsure if we actually were though it seemed like we might be…

"Yeah," she said, though she was curt.

"_Really_ okay, though?" I asked one more time.

"How about we say we're...starting over?" she suggested – hands in her pockets as she shrugged her shoulders.

"I'll take it," I smiled.

With a small wave, she headed toward the door. Just as soon as she made her way to leave, Greer had returned from the bookstore. Perfect timing.

Without a word, Ford simply smiled at Greer and with a reassuring nod of her head, she had left the shop.

"So...since Ford just smiled at me...which, by the way, she **never** has before...Everything okay with you two?" Greer asked sincerely, sitting down next to me.

"Umm…", I began – looking at her with an expression that was some part confusion and some part relief. "I think we _are_, yeah."

"Good," she said, placing her hand over mine.

So…I guess I had my friend back? Well…not the _exact_ same friend. I mean…we agreed to start over – so I guess it was just **that**.

We were starting over and _maybe_ I could live peacefully in a world where my new old friend and my girlfriend could coexist without killing each other.

One can hope.

* * *

><p><strong>Finally! An update! I wasn't super happy with the last chapter and I'm not sure how I feel about this one, either. Either way, I hope you enjoy. I'll try to have the next one up by the weekend or maybe into the middle of next week. Also I hope everyone had a happy New Year! =D<strong>


	20. Dinner With The Danville's

**Chapter 20 – Dinner With The Danville's**

New Year's Day.

AKA…_Meet The Parents_ Day.

New Year's Eve for us was fairly low-key this year. Greer's parents had some firm-sponsored party to attend and so Greer spent the evening with Mom, Grams, April, Beth, and I. I was wondering why her parents didn't think to bring Greer along but I thought asking her might only make her feel worse about not getting to spend yet another holiday with her parents. I was also pretty surprised April and Beth didn't want to do anything with their friends this year. This year there was a _ton_ going on in Boston on New Year's Eve so, really, the options were endless for them. Though…I did overhear Beth and April, collectively, were having some boy troubles so…maybe staying in was just less of a hassle. I could understand that.

Anyway. **Tonight**…was the dinner with Greer's parents that we had planned on. As you could _probably_ imagine, I am _wayyy_ more nervous about this than I have been about…really…anything else. I mean, for my family to meet Greer…that went pretty smoothly. Like…surprisingly smoothly. I'm having a hard time believing _this_ meeting would go as well as that one and would be as bump-free. Of course Greer told me not to freak out about it but…I couldn't really help it.

My biggest dilemma right now is what to wear…which, perhaps…is often my "biggest dilemma" of the moment.

As I combed through the clothes in my closet – which was…still a mess – nothing really jumped out and screamed "Wear me, I'm professional!" I know Greer's parents are the _formal-perhaps-stuffy-even_ type so I didn't want to shirk on the business-casual-ness of my outfit. I thought I had a skirt in here somewhere but if I don't find one in the next few minutes I might have to raid Ape's closet.

::_knock-knock_::

As the door slid ajar, I noticed April come in her arms currently occupied by a pile of skirts, blouses, and dresses.

"What gave me away?" I said pointing to the wardrobe she was currently toting.

"Well…I heard a lot of drawer closing, hanger falling, and door slamming and figured you were having a little bit of trouble picking out what to wear," she explained staring at the collection of clothes that was certainly amassing on the floor of my room.

"Well, you were right," I sighed, falling back onto my bed and staring at the ceiling.

Dropping all of the clothes on the floor and noticing my expression when she did so, April walked over to join me on the bed saying, "Your room's _already_ a disaster so I don't think that made it any worse…"

"Eh, I'll get to it whenever," I said dismissively.

April nodded in agreement and proceeded to join me in staring at the ceiling as we lay there in awkward silence.

Finally interrupting this silent movie we seemed to have found ourselves in, she said, "So…meeting her parents, huh?"

"Yep," I said without breaking my glance from the small crack I had noticed next to the hanging lamp in the center of my ceiling. I feel like we should fix that soon…

"So your outfit is…" April began, prodding me to join along in this semi-conversation.

"The _least_ of my concerns, yeah…" I finished.

"Okay…what's your biggest non-clothing concern?" she asked, continuing, "…because I will **definitely** take care of the outfit issue if your best options are lying at the bottom of your closet, right now…"

Chuckling for a moment, I realized how grateful I was for talks like these. Talks with my sister who, only a few months ago, I was so sure I wouldn't have that much time left with to even **have** these talks.

After another few moments of silence, I finally offered, "I'm not like…ideal…"

"What?" April asked, genuinely confused by my statement.

"I'm not…you know…what someone would think of when you think of 'someone's girlfriend'," I answered. "I'm not, like…girlfriend material."

"What makes you say that?" asked April.

"I'm not smart, I'm not _responsible_…" I began. "I'm not squeaky-clean. I'm not the most **involved** person at school. I don't even know what I wanna do in the future…I have, like…**no** direction in life."

After listening to me talk, April lay quiet for some time. All of a sudden and out of nowhere, _SLAP!_ – as April's hand came firmly down on my arm and the momentary sting caused me to jump up from the bed.

"Ow! What was _that_ for?!" I asked, in surprise.

"Brenna Carver, you deserved that," April started, pointing a scolding finger at me. "Don't you dare talk about yourself that way, again."

"Alright, alright, relax…" I said, waving my hands in mock-surrender.

"No, seriously, Bren," April continued. "How could you say those things? You're smart, you're beautiful, and in the past few months I've seen more maturity in you than I've seen in Grams! Then again, Grams is another story…but that's neither here nor there. Brenna, _never_ think that you're not good enough or that other people won't think you're good enough. Because you are. You _are_ good enough."

I wasn't sure what to say but that wasn't a problem for too long given April continued in a matter of seconds, "You're a good person, Brenna. **I** know that. **You** know that. **Greer** knows that. And her parents will know that too! And if they don't…then who cares? Greer likes you…for you…and that's all that matters right now, right?"

"Yeah, well…I want her parents to like me too," I reasoned.

"And you know what? More likely than not, they will," April said. "They'll see how much Greer likes you…and they will too. I'm sure of it."

"I don't know, April," I said hesitantly. "From the way it seems, they have this whole…**plan**…for Greer. If they don't think I'm good enough for their daughter, I think it's _entirely_ possible they can make sure we don't see each other anymore…"

I could see April thinking about what I had just said and I was certain there was a part of her that thought what I had just said could be true. "Just don't think about that, now. One thing at a time, Bren."

"Yeah," I nodded, letting out a sigh of frustration – both dissatisfied with this conversation and not wanting to carry it any further. "How about those clothes?"

"Oh! Well…I brought a few things from my closet that were on the slightly more conservative side," April said, as she got up to rummage through the pile she brought from her room.

"Uhh...how conservative are we talking?" I asked, certain whatever April grabbed was probably from her business casual wardrobe. And by business casual, I mean the _going-on-an-interview-won't-impress-anyone-by-how-I-look_ part of her wardrobe.

"Mmm…we could probably get you to look librarian-esque?" April suggested.

"Uhhh…Sexy Librarian-esque?" I asked, hopeful.

"Mmm…no…Just Librarian-esque," April said firmly.

"Well, what about that one?" I asked pointing to what I thought was the bottom edge of one of Ape's little black dresses. "I mean black is conservative…and that dress looks business-y enough without making me look like…Hester Prynne."

"I'm sorry…was **that** a literary reference?" April said, mockingly. "Since when do you even read?!"

"Hey, I **do** pay attention in class sometimes," I defended myself.

"Anywayyy…" April began as she pulled out the black dress from the remaining clothes and held it up in front of me to see how it would look. "This could work, Bren!"

"I definitely have shoes and earrings to match, too," I said, taking the dress from her excitedly.

"Well, I will let you get ready," said April smiling as she made her way to the door. "And remember, Bren…just be yourself."

"Yeah," I said nervously. "And April?" I said just before April had closed the door behind her.

"Hm?" she said looking back.

"Thanks."

"Anytime, Bren. Anytime," she said nodding.

As April left, I glanced over at the clock and realized I would have to leave in just under an hour to head over to Greer's house. So…that meant just under an hour to make sure the clothes, shoes, jewelry, and make-up were as close to perfect as I could make them.

Breathe, Brenna. Breathe.

* * *

><p>I pulled up to Greer's house at just around 7PM and slipping on my coat, I left the car and made my way – slowly – to her front porch. Stopping just at the bottom of the steps, I hesitated to go any further. What if they don't like me? I know April said it shouldn't matter because Greer likes me anyway…but I really want them to like me. I'm definitely <em>not<em> someone the Danville's would expect to be dating Greer…Ugh, I just don't—

"Hey, what are you doing?" Greer asked into the cold night air, her breath a visible cloud before her. I was so wrapped in my own thoughts I didn't notice her open the front door. I wonder how long she had been watching me pace back and forth…

"Oh, just thinking," I said, smiling nervously, still not climbing the steps to her house.

"Well…can you think where it's a little warmer?" she said, opening the door a little wider and gesturing for me to come inside.

"Oh, right," I said, entering through the front door hurriedly and taking off my coat.

Taking my coat, Greer said, "Are you okay?" as she noticed the worried expression on my face.

"What? Oh, yeah…no, I'm fine…" I said, though rather unconvincingly.

"Okay…," Greer said, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief. "I just finished setting the table and my parents are in their office just wrapping things up. We can wait for them in the dining room."

Following Greer, she guided me through a long hallway lined with paintings – leading to the kitchen and dining room. I somehow thought all these paintings were really only hanging in the hallway for the sake of aesthetics and probably had little significance for Greer's parents. The hallway exuded this sense of aristocracy that I couldn't quite put my finger on and, in fact, the entire house sort of gave me this impression.

Finally reaching the dining room, I noticed the table was beautifully set with just about the finest silverware I had ever seen. Though, it occurred to me that this probably wasn't anything special for the Danville's. Commonplace, really. Table napkins that were more fresh-linen than they were napkin – folded in just the right way. Forks, knives, and spoons exactly where they belonged according to the rules of dining etiquette I never quite managed to learn – nor did I care to, actually.

"Have a seat," Greer said as she finished pouring water into our glasses and pulled out a chair for me.

Taking my seat, careful not to put any fresh scuffmarks on the gorgeous wooden-paneled floor, I began, "Where are—"

"Right next to you," Greer said smiling as she sat down in the chair, as she said, right next to me. "Relax," she insisted, before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

Within a few moments, Mr. and Mrs. Danville both entered the room and, somewhat reflexively, I stood from my seat to shake their hands.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Danville," I said shaking their hands in succession.

"Will," said Mr. Danville and nodding in his wife's direction he continued, "…and Pam."

"Nice to meet you," I said trying to make eye contact with both of them though the height difference meant that they loomed over me considerably.

"Please, have a seat," Pam said as we all took our places at the table.

Greer reached for the salad bowl to serve me and I soon took note of the awkward silence that settled in the room. Perhaps I was more acutely aware of the awkward tension or perhaps it was imagined but I could stand the silence no longer as I said, "So…Greer said you were in your office wrapping things up?" I mean it's always a good thing to show interest in people's careers, right?

"Uhhh, yeah," Pam said, stealing a glance at her husband before carrying on, "…We have a trip coming up for our law firm so we were just trying to sort through some paperwork."

"Greer mentioned you travel a lot," I continued, wondering if that's something I should have said. What if they think I'm mentioning this as if to point out that they're never around? What if I crossed a line? What if they're offended?

"Yeah, our jobs keep us pretty busy," Will said, looking back at his wife. "But we try to come home when we can. We like to be there for Greer."

I couldn't quite tell if he was being genuine or not but the forced smile Greer was wearing told me maybe he _too_ wanted to believe what he was saying was true.

"So what do your parents do, Brenna?" Pam asked, placing some baked chicken onto her plate.

"My mom's a therapist," I said. "So she's busy _most_ days but is always home in time for dinner."

"And your father?" Will asked between bites of his mashed potatoes.

"Um," I began, looking over at Greer. I was both thankful she hadn't really told them anything about me but also overwhelmed by the prospect of having to explain my "family situation" to them. Maybe I'll just give them as little information as possible. "He, uh…passed away a little over a year ago…"

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Pam said somewhat sincerely – though the look on her face let me know she didn't really _do_ sympathy. I'm not really sure she knew how to…

"Yeah, it's been tough," I said looking down at my lap as Greer took my hand in hers and gave me a concerned look.

"I can imagine," Will said. Then without really a pause at all, Mr. Danville asked, "So what do you wanna do?"

The abrupt change in topic threw me as I stuttered a bit before saying, "Well…what do you mean? Like…in life?"

"Well, yes," Pam offered. "What do you wanna do in the future? Where do you wanna go for college? What do you wanna be?"

"Um, Mrs. Danville," I began. "I hadn't really thought about it a lot…"

"Why not?" she asked, taken aback, as if me not knowing every detail of my undecided future was blasphemous somehow.

"I just, well, I'm—…" I began to say when she interrupted me.

"You have to have ambitions in life, Brenna," she said. She said it in a way that didn't sound like advice, but rather sounded like a rule I should have been following.

"I just haven't thought about it," I reasoned. "I've had a lot on my plate as of late…"

"That sounds like an excuse to me," Mr. Danville chimed in.

"It's only our Sophomore year," I said calmly, looking at Greer who was _clearly_ becoming uncomfortable.

"Right and _Junior_ year is just around the corner," Pam said. "...along with SATs and college applications."

"Greer's going to law school," Mr. Danville said confidently. "Isn't that right, honey?"

Greer didn't respond and instead stared straight down at her hands – twiddling her thumbs. I think if she had the choice she'd be _anywhere_ but here.

"Why don't you go and grab the dessert, Greer?" Pam asked.

Great. I still had to sit through dessert before this night was over…

* * *

><p>That dinner was just about as painful as it was shaping up to be…if not worse. After dessert – which was delicious, I must admit – I politely thanked Mr. and Mrs. Danville for having me though I could have done without the onslaught of questions I faced during dinner. Greer then led me to the front door, grabbing my coat from the closet along the way.<p>

"Brenna, I'm really sorry about that," Greer began, her voice thick with guilt.

"It's not your fault," I said shaking my head as I put on my coat.

"Well, since my parents aren't gonna apologize any time soon," Greer said gently grabbing the collar of my coat, "…I'll take the responsibility." With that, she pulled me closer to her and gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. There's more I wanted to say to her but maybe tonight wasn't the night to launch into a discussion of how her parents weren't entirely off-base in pointing out that their daughter was _clearly_ on a path to success while I had no path in sight.

"I'll call you when I get home?" I said, pulling away.

"I'll be waiting," Greer said, smiling, as she buttoned my coat.

Giving her another kiss on the cheek, I headed out the door and down the steps of the front porch into the blustery winter night. I had almost made it to my car when I heard a voice behind me.

"Brenna," said the voice, as I turned around to see it was Mrs. Danville walking over to meet me on the driveway.

"Mrs. Danville?" I asked, unsure of why she had come out. "It's pretty cold out…"

"Yeah, I know," she said. "I'll make this quick, then."

"Make what quick?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"Greer has a plan for herself," she said abrasively. "She's going to get into a good school and she's going to go to law school and she's going to be **successful**."

"_She_ has a plan for herself?" I challenged, knowing that maybe that was the wrong thing to say.

"Listen, Brenna," she said sternly. "She's got a plan for herself and deluding yourself into thinking you can be a part of that down the road…is just that. _Delusional_."

"Excuse me?" I said, now beginning to lose my patience and fighting back the tears of frustration all the same.

"I'm on the Disciplinary Board at Charton, Brenna," Pam explained. "Tonight's **not** the first time I'm hearing your name."

I felt like this _had_ to be some sort of invasion of privacy…

"I may not know all the details but I know what kind of school record you have," she asserted. "I can't have you dragging Greer down with you, anymore."

The tears were just there, caught on the brim of my eyelashes and ready to fall as I clenched my fists in a lame attempt to hold them back.

"Yeah, I know about her grades before winter break," Pam added. "I can't help but think that's _not_ a coincidence."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to defend myself but I wanted to so badly.

"So, what are you saying?" I muttered, my lip quivering.

"Despite what your academic career might show, I think you're smart enough to know," she said. "If you really care at all about Greer, you'll leave her alone."

"Are you—," I began to say but I was cut off yet again.

"You'll leave her alone," she said with finality as she walked quickly back into her lavish home, shutting the front door and turning off the porch lights.

Storming back to my car with the heat of my rage and frustration mixed with the cold chill of the January air, I swung open the driver's side door and collapsed onto the seat. Beating the steering wheel once or twice angrily, I eventually devolved into a fit of tears – what seemed steady streams rolling from my eyes to my cheeks.

* * *

><p><strong>Another update! Who's excited for Chasing Life to come back this week? Enjoy this one, guys! :)<strong>


	21. Again

**Chapter 21 – Again**

Closing the front door behind me, my eyes still puffy and tinged-red from the tears, I entered my house and quietly made my way up the stairs to my room. Though I did see a light on in the kitchen, it was eerily quiet throughout the house – no conversation, no noise. I took the silence as an opportunity to steal into my room where I could just…be alone. Laying down on my bed, I thought if I closed my eyes, eventually, sleep would come. And maybe when I wake up tomorrow, it'll be a new day…and maybe I wouldn't feel so bad. Besides, school starts tomorrow – so that'll be a good distraction, right?

Obviously, if you could imagine…I was wrong. About all of that.

My mind refused to shut off. Questions, hypothetical situations, regret all ran through my mind in a confusing jumble of words that I was, presently, too exhausted to sort through and just didn't want to deal with.

I couldn't believe Greer's mom would say those things to me. And to basically ask me to break up with Greer? How could she do that?!

She wasn't wrong, though.

Greer and I come from different places. Greer has always been successful…and will always _be_ successful. I couldn't stand in the way of her accomplishing her goals – even if some of those goals were really her parents'. You know, I had thought about it once before – whether her recent decline in grades was really my fault. The more I think about it now, the more I feel guilty that they _are_ my fault – my responsibility.

Maybe I'm **not** right for Greer.

Maybe she'd be better off if we _weren't_ together.

And I could never tell her what her mother said. Greer's whole life, as far I can see, has been about obeying her parents' rules…about fulfilling her parents' wishes. I know, despite the incredible amount of pressure they place on her, Greer loves them. If I told her what her mother said, she would never look at her the same way. Maybe she would look at me differently, as well.

I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I may have ruined their relationship and **ours** too.

* * *

><p>I must have fallen asleep eventually because when I stirred to the tiny creaking of my opening bedroom door, a quick glance at the clock let me know it was already 6:00AM. Crap. I had to wake up for school…<p>

As I turned over in my sheets, I felt the bed sink a tiny bit under my mother's weight as she came to sit at the edge.

"Mom?" I asked sleepily.

I could tell she, too, had been crying because I saw the same puffiness and red hue that for me, had probably since been erased by sleep. She spoke quietly, "Hey, Bren."

"Mom?" I said, still confused as to why she was in my room. "What's wrong?"

She stared off in silence for a few moments before I heard the soft sobs mixed periodically with the sniffling of her nose. She had begun to cry again.

Sitting up, I put a comforting hand on her back and repeated, "Mom? What's wrong?"

Finally regaining some composure amid the tears she whispered, "It's April."

"What happened?" I asked, more panicked – the feeling of dread becoming harder and harder to hide.

"Earlier last night, April's doctor called," Mom started slowly. "…with the lab results from April's blood draw a week back."

"Okay…" I said, internally fearing the worst but trying to maintain a brave face for Mom.

"And I know they've spaced out the blood draws since she was done with chemo," Mom continued…

"Mom? What happened?" I repeated, growing more nervous.

"It's back," Mom said. That was it. Nothing more.

I knew what she meant – and she knew that I knew.

"Oh no," I said quietly, staring off. "What happens now? Where is she now? I thought she was doing so well! They were watching her for months and she was fine. I thought the chemo she had **fixed** all this. This **isn't **fair!"

"Brenna, Brenna," Mom said, a hand on my arm to calm me. "Slow down."

"I don't understand Mom," I pressed. "She had chemo. This should be **gone**, right? That's the point of chemo! It should be _**gone!**_"

"I know, I know," Mom said, sympathetically. "But…there was always a chance it could come back."

"This isn't fair," I said again, sadly. "It's not supposed to be like this. She's supposed to be okay now!"

"I know," Mom said, patting me on the back. "I didn't want to tell you last night since you were over at Greer's house. I didn't want you to worry."

"Mom, you could've told me," I said. "I wanna know about these things. Of course, I'm gonna worry…but I can't help that."

"Yeah, I know," Mom said. "She checked into the hospital last night so they could start their work-up first thing this morning and go from there."

"So is she gonna get chemo again?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," Mom said. "I'm gonna go visit her around lunchtime and her doctor said we could discuss it then."

"I wanna visit her too," I said.

"Well you can't just _leave_ school, Brenna," Mom said.

"C'mon, Mom," I pleaded, realizing I sounded a bit more desperate than I had wanted to. Honestly though, I'd rather visit April in the hospital than deal with my present situation…which remained quite…present. "I think they'd understand if you told them April was in the hospital. Ms. Gregorian already knows about her illness."

"Brenna, I don't want you to blow off school…especially since it's the first day back since break," Mom said. "You can visit her _after_ the day's done. Maybe have someone drive you? OH! What about Greer?"

"Yeah, maybe," I said, knowing that was probably _not _a possibility for reasons that I didn't particularly feel like explaining to my mom at this time.

"Anyway, it's getting late and you still have to get ready for school," Mom reminded me as she stood up to leave my room. "We'll get through this, Brenna. I'll go and get breakfast ready. Be down in twenty?"

"Yeah, I'll be down," I said, getting up from my bed slowly as she left me to get ready for school. I thought today would be a "new day" but I still feel miserable – worse, actually, in light of this recent news that still hasn't _fully_ hit me.

Walking over to my dresser to pull out clothes for today, I checked my phone.

_Damn!_

As the screen's fluorescent glow showed me I had two unread messages, I realized I forgot to call Greer when I got home last night. Though, maybe it was better I didn't call her. I wouldn't even know what to say to her, now.

**Greer:** Since it's like past midnight, I'm assuming you fell asleep when you got back

**Greer:** I'll see you in school tomorrow =)

I'm going to see her at school. What am I going to say? And now this…with April? I want to tell her about what's going on with April but I can't just pretend what happened with her mom _never_ happened.

This sucks.

The one person I **want** to talk to is now the one person I'm **banned** from talking to.

And I couldn't even tell her that.

* * *

><p><strong>A short one but another lead-in for what's to come. Thanks for reading! =)<strong>


	22. A Missed Kiss

**Chapter 22 – A Missed Kiss**

School felt extra "drag"-y today. I lost track of the times during class when I looked at my watch, gawked at the clock, or asked my neighboring students what time it was – of course, only to get "Ummm, you _have_ a watch" in return.

Somehow, I managed to avoid Greer all day but it was really only a matter of time before we ran into each other. School was about to end for the day and the mass exodus of students rushing to their cars, to the buses, or walking home would mean I would quickly be in plain sight. I told Beth to pick me up once school ends so we can head to the hospital, though. So…I'll try to be as efficient as possible once that bell—

::_RRRIIIINGGGGGGGGGG_::

Like a swarm of bees, students shot up from their seats and in chaos – that far from resembled a single-file line – rushed the classroom door, pouring into the hallways one after the other. Arriving at my locker to drop off a book, I took out my phone to notice I had an unread text message.

**Beth:** Running a little late, B – be there soon though

Ugh. My plans of being elusive were slowly (and predictably) failing.

Rifling through the contents of my locker, I was so engrossed in my rummaging that I didn't hear the footsteps approaching.

"Hey, Brenna!" Greer called as I jumped and stumbled backward into my open locker door with a subtle _thud_.

"Oh! Didn't see you there," I said getting my bearings.

"Yeah…I can see that," Greer said, chuckling.

"Sorry I didn't call you last night," I said as we walked from my locker toward the courtyard. "I got home and just kinda passed out after turning the TV on…"

"Watch anything good?" she asked as we made our way to a bench close to the entrance of the school.

"Uhhh, just some reruns on TV," I lied. "The usual late night stuff."

"Gotcha," Greer said, nodding, as we finally sat down.

"What're you up to today?" I asked her, trying to fill in the lulls of our irrelevant conversation.

"Waiting for my mom to pick me up actually," she said with some surprise.

"Wait, you usually drive here, though…," I said, a little confused.

"Yeah, kinda long story," Greer said tiredly,"…the short version of which includes car trouble when I tried to drive in this morning."

"Rough," I said, with sympathy.

"Yeah," she agreed. "But…my mom had it towed to the autoshop so we're gonna go pick it up once she picks **me** up."

"You doing anything else?" I asked.

"Just studying for the afternoon," she said. "Since my parents are heading out of town next week, we figured we'd go out for dinner tonight and spend a little more time together."

I couldn't help but notice how excited she was as she spoke about the opportunity to spend time with her parents. After hearing that, any thoughts I had of telling her what her mom had said to me _completely_ vanished.

"That's great, Greer," I said smiling.

"And until my mom gets here…I'll keep you company!" she said with excitement, taking my hand in hers. Though, I hoped Beth would get here_ before_ Greer's mom did. At this point I was praying for just about any chance I could get to avoid another confrontation with her mom.

"Why are you hanging around school, anyway?" she asked.

"Just waiting for Beth to pick me up, actually," I said.

"Yeah? You guys hanging out?" Greer asked.

"Um," I began but paused – and paused for _far_ too long. In fact, I had paused for long enough that if I were to tell her anything _but _the truth at this point…she would **definitely** know I was lying. I had to tell her. I **need** to tell her.

"She's taking me to…the…hospital…" I said slowly.

"Oh no," Greer gasped as she must have come to the same realization I did this morning when Mom told me the news. "Is April's…"

"Yeah, it came back," I said sadly – the reality of what I had just said setting in a _bit_ more than it had this morning. Shifting uneasily on the bench, I placed my hands anxiously on my knees – staring out at the bustling traffic on the street or, really, at nothing in particular.

After a few moments, she moved closer to me and wrapping her arm around my shoulder she ran a consoling hand up and down my arm. "I'm sorry, Brenna," she whispered as she gently kissed my forehead.

_This_ is what I need. I need her because she's always there for me. I need her because she always knows what to say or what to do to make me feel better – even if it's something as simple as holding my hand. There were a lot of things I loved about our relationship but this I loved the most.

We sat in silence for a few moments until I noticed the wheels of a fast-approaching Porsche – her mom's car. Almost immediately, I broke away from Greer – which I'm quite certain caught her by surprise because for a quick second her arm remained around the Brenna-sized ghost I had left in my wake. I didn't want to give her mom any _more_ reason to hate me, though. I think she had _plenty_ based on our "conversation" last night.

"I guess you should get going, huh?" I asked awkwardly, looking in her mom's direction. I could have sworn I was on the receiving end of a death-like glare and to placate my own fears, I simply averted my eyes. My shoes were far more interesting, in this moment.

"Yeah, I guess so," Greer said, grabbing her things. "Listen, if Beth's gonna be much later, why don't we just give you a ride?"

"No, that's okay," I said quickly, looking back and forth between her and her mom – who seemed to be growing ever more impatient in her Porsche.

"Are you sure?" Greer pressed. "Beth's kinda always running late. We could probably get you there faster."

"No no," I said hastily. "I'm sure she's on her way. It'd be silly to make her turn around, now…"

"Okay," Greer said finally. "Will you call me later? And…maybe _not_ fall asleep as soon as you get home this time?"

"Uh, yeah…I'll call you later," I said, glancing again at her mom whose glare was tearing into my soul.

As she adjusted her bag on her shoulder to get a tighter grip, she leaned forward to kiss me but I turned away – her lips _just_ missing my cheek.

"Sorry," I said, embarrassedly. "It's just…your mom is right there…," I continued pointing in the direction of her car.

"Yeah," Greer said, her eyes clear with hurt as she feigned understanding. Truthfully, public displays of affection were never an issue for us before and Greer knew that. Though I could see she _wanted_ to pursue this further, surprisingly, she let it go. "So I'll talk to you later, then…"

"Yeah, later," I agreed.

"Say 'hi' to April, for me," Greer said with a small smile as she walked over to her mom's car.

Pretending to look for something in my bag, I turned away as they drove off – hoping to avoid any more glaring from Mrs. Danville and now _also_ ashamed of how I acted toward Greer.

After five more minutes of sitting on the bench, awaiting Beth's arrival, I took out my phone to give her a call. Just as I reached her name in my 'Contacts' list, I heard tires screeching from around the corner. Beth _really_ does need a new car…

Before even coming to a full stop, Beth lowered the driver's side window and shouted, "Brenna, I'm so sorry! I got hung up at work!"

"Yeah, yeah," I said, impatiently. "It's fine. Let's just go."

"Whoa, is everything okay?" Beth asked, as she put the car in 'Drive' and we left the school.

"Long story," I said, in short. "If April's up for it, I can explain later."

Ugh, Beth.

I love her but…to think if she had just been _on-time_…the awkwardness of this afternoon would _never_ have happened.

…And Mrs. Danville _probably_ wouldn't be wishing she had run me over with her car.

Probably.

* * *

><p><strong>Another short one - but the next one will definitely be longer. I also wanna say thanks for all the positive comments - it's great to know you guys are enjoying the story and it's great to know people are even reading this! As always, enjoy! =)<strong>


	23. Out Of Nowhere

**Chapter 23 – Out of Nowhere**

"Hi, we're here to see April Carver," I said as Beth and I approached the woman at the Information Desk. "What room?"

"Ummm, lemme check," she hedged as she rapped furiously on the keyboard – the _clickity-clack_ of the keys growing more irritating each second. "Oh! Here we are…It looks like…924 in Unit 9B. Do you need help finding the room?"

"No," I sighed with a tight-lipped smile, "I've been here before…But…thanks."

Beth and I headed toward the elevators down the hallway – the familiarity of the place only minimally comforting but mostly unsettling. As the elevator car zipped up to the ninth floor, the doors sliding apart to let us out, I noticed the Oncology Ward had gone through some renovations. I think the last time we were here the wallpaper had an orange-y glow to it but now that had since been replaced by an equally cheery yellow-y color. The floor had been redone as well and maybe even the patient rooms?

Yup. The patient rooms too.

We had knocked lightly on April's door but hearing no confirmatory "Come in!" from inside, we decided to just take a peek to see if she was sleeping – or if she was even _in_ her room at all.

Peering around the edge of the door, Beth and I saw that April was currently sleeping – which wasn't all that surprising, really. What _was_ surprising, though, was the tall, brown-haired, fairly-charming-looking guy slumped in a chair at the foot of April's bed, napping. Closing the door just as quietly as we had opened it, Beth and I backed away from the room so as not to make an inordinate amount of noise. I guess we could come back later…

Heading back toward the elevator with Beth, I asked, "Who _was_ that?!"

"Oh, that's Cancer Boy," Beth said casually. "He's cute, right?"

"Um, you call him…Cancer Boy?" I asked, thinking this was a surprisingly insensitive thing for Beth to say.

"Oh, only because he said it first," Beth reasoned. "Once you get to know him you'll see he doesn't actually take himself _too_ seriously. I think it's what April likes about him, actually."

Getting into the elevator car and pressing the button for the Lobby, I stated, "You know, I've always been telling April about my stuff but never actually asked her what was going on in _her_ life. It kinda makes me seem selfish…"

As we reached the Lobby and exited the elevator, Beth said, "You're not being selfish, B. You're being a teenager. Ape knows that…"

"Yeah, but I **do** care about what's going on in her life, too," I insisted. "She's always coming to _my_ rescue and I feel like I'm burdening her with _my_ stuff. I don't wanna be Brenna, April's little sister, who always needs saving. I wanna be Brenna, who can stand on her own two feet."

"Brenna, c'mon. That's _not_ what she thinks of you," she said reassuringly, putting a comforting arm around me. "She's just being your older sister – a job I'm **pretty** sure she loves…aside from the petty arguments you guys have…"

"Yeah," I said, though I wasn't very convincing.

"I know I've offered my ear before, but what do you say we have a little Brenna and Beth bonding time?" Beth suggested. "I mean we gotta kill some time, anyway. Maybe in like an hour or so we can check in on April?"

Thinking about it for a bit, I finally agreed, "Alright, alright. I hear the hospital cafeteria is around here somewhere…"

* * *

><p>After traipsing about the hospital for what seemed a good thirty minutes, even <em>after<em> asking the lady at the front desk for guidance, Beth and I finally found the cafeteria and bought some coffee.

Sitting down at one of the cafeteria tables, Beth asked, "Alright…now what is this long story you were talking about earlier? What happened at school?"

"Well it's not so much what happened at school as it is what happened last night…" I prefaced.

"What happened last night?" Beth asked. "Is everything okay?"

"So…last night I had dinner at Greer's house," I began, "…with her parents."

"Yeah? How'd that go?" she asked.

"Umm…about as well as I expected," I said.

"So…not well at all?"

"_Definitely_ not," I confirmed. "Sitting through dinner was like sitting under an interrogation lamp. It was just this constant stream of questions and none of my answers were good enough – or what they wanted to hear."

"Questions about what?" she asked, sipping from her cup.

"About everything!" I said with frustration. "They wanted to know what my parents did, what I wanted to do in the future, where I wanted to go to college, what my goals in life were and why I seemed to have none _currently_…"

"Well that's a little much…" Beth said.

"Yeah, that wasn't even the worst part…," I said, staring down at my cup wondering if I should tell Beth what happened _after_ dinner.

"What do you mean?" Beth asked with sincerity.

"Her mom's a piece of work…" I said vaguely.

"What happened?" she asked with genuine concern. "Did she say something to you?"

"I was going to my car afterward and she came out after me," I began to explain. "She basically called me a distraction in Greer's life and that I should stop holding her back from success. She said Greer's got a direction in life and I obviously, don't. Basically, she told me I had to break up with Greer."

"Or what?" Beth pressed.

"She didn't say," I answered. "She just told me to leave her alone. Honestly, she managed to look through my academic records and knows all about my run-in with the Disciplinary Board at school…which she _happens_ to be on. I think if she wants to make sure Greer and I don't see each other…she **can**."

"Are you serious? She can't do that!" Beth said, angrily.

"Well, I think she can, Beth," I reaffirmed. "And I've thought about this, you know. She's not wrong."

"What are you talking about? Of course she is!" Beth snapped.

"We come from different places," I said. "Greer is this perfect specimen of a teenager – if that's even possible. She's like…the kid every parent _wants_ to have and I'm like the kid every parent _dreads_ their own might turn into. You know? College is in her future. Good job, good life. I can't say that I have **any** of that lined up for me…and what if I _never_ do? I don't want to be the person that holds her back from something greater. I could _never_ live with the kind of guilt that would create and I would _never_ want her to resent me. We like each other, yeah. But…maybe I'm not _supposed_ to be with her. She deserves better."

"Are you listening to yourself, right now? This is crazy!" Beth said, frustrated. "You guys like each other…and the future is the future. Who knows what's gonna happen? No one knows! You can't just give up like this."

"There's so much in the way though," I fought back. "If we break up, maybe we can at _least_ have a friendship…or like some _semblance_ of a friendship."

"Just because it's hard doesn't mean it won't work," Beth said. "I hate to see you think this way about yourself. No matter what her parents say, you _know_ that you're good for each other. You're good for her, Brenna."

"I don't know, Beth," I said, feeling so torn.

After some silence I finally said, "I'm supposed to call her later just to let her know how things are going but…"

"So I take it you didn't tell her what her mom said, then," Beth said, sighing.

"Nope," I confirmed. "And honestly, I don't think I can. Her parents are barely around, I know, but…she _loves_ them. If I told her what her mom did, she'd hate her. I don't wanna be the person who ruins that relationship. And nevermind the fact that If I **do** tell her…**I'd** be the one who created this _rift_ between them and then maybe she'd hate me too."

"Well, I don't see how you can still hope to be friends with her with what her mom did to you looming over your head," Beth said, pointing out the very obvious dilemma I was in. "You can keep seeing her at school because, obviously, her parents can't control that. But eventually…hiding this from her is _gonna_ take a toll on you."

"Ugh, I don't know, Beth," I sighed.

Maybe the sad reality was that we couldn't even be friends.

* * *

><p>::<em>knockknockknock<em>::

"Come in!" shouted a familiar voice from inside Room 924.

Excitedly, Beth and I entered April's room with big smiles on our faces.

"Heyyyy!" we both said, almost in unison, as we went over to April's bed to give her a hug.

"Where's Leo?" Beth asked April, as we both noticed he was no longer here.

"Leo was here?" April said, sounding surprised – though soon noticing there was a folded blanket on the chair by the bed that definitely hadn't been there earlier in the day. "Oh, I've been so exhausted I must've missed him…"

"Yeah, we came in a little while ago but both of you were sleeping," I explained. "We decided to just wait it out a bit downstairs."

"Girl talk, you know," Beth said, giving me a small smile.

"Yeah? Anything good?" April asked casually as she glanced back and forth between us.

"Just some stuff," I said dismissively.

"Everything…okay?" April asked, concerned.

"Um…I'm not sure," I answered. "But…I can figure it out on my own. Don't worry about it."

"Okay…," April said, with hesitation.

"So…what did the doctor say?" asked Beth – and I was definitely thankful for the change in subject. Though…the change to _this _topic wasn't a great choice, either.

"Well…since the cancer is back, we kinda have to pull out **all** the stops this time," April said, sounding a little defeated. "We're looking into what kind of bone marrow match we can get off the registry – since I don't have a relative that's a _full_-match. But we're also thinking about starting chemo again – with a different medication, of course."

"Wow," I said, not knowing what else to say – but taking her hand. "I'm sorry…"

"Yeah…and I feel like my hair _just_ grew back," April said, joking with a tiny smile not small enough to hide her apparent sadness.

Beth and I glanced at each other, unsure of what to say.

The gravity of the situation was beginning to hit me and I was overcome with overwhelming despair. I, like April, thought her getting chemo meant that this was all over. We all thought that life would just…go back to normal. I mean, yeah, I understood that there was a chance the cancer could come back. We all knew that. They **told** us that. But…I never really prepared myself for _if_ it did come back.

I guess no one ever does. You really can't prepare for that sort of thing. And if this was hard on me…imagine what it must be like for April!

To constantly live in fear.

The paranoia that the _one_ illness you thought you'd **never** have…could actually come back?

I would never be able to deal with it as well as she is – as well as anyone really could. She's been doing remarkably well with all this so far. I just hope she doesn't give up.

"Brenna, don't worry…" April said quietly, as she must've noticed I was lost in my own thoughts.

"Aren't _you_?" I asked, my lip trembling as I was on the verge of tears.

"Of course I am!" she said. "But…we'll deal with this. Just like we have been."

"I don't wanna lose you…" I whispered, the tears free-flowing with no sign of stopping as Beth wrapped a consoling arm around me.

For the first time in **years**, I felt like we were _finally _sisters. We finally understood each other. Instead of being just _another_ person April would have to take care of or look after, I felt like I had become her **friend**.

And now…what if I was about to lose that all?

* * *

><p>As Beth remained in April's room just talking with her, I went down to the hospital Lobby to call Greer.<p>

"Hey," I said quietly into the phone, my voice hoarse as it tends to become after I've cried.

"Hey. Everything okay at the hospital?" Greer asked on the other end.

"Kinda…" I said, which was _sort_ of the truth. I didn't want to bombard Greer with so much information – especially over the phone.

"Well…I can come over later if you want and we can talk about it then," Greer said.

_You can't_, I thought.

I don't know what to do.

I can't tell her about my conversation with her mom. I can't pretend it _didn't_ happen, either. I can't ask her to be there for me – and talk to her about stuff with April – because I'm not even **supposed** to be talking to her. She can't be my crutch. I can't drag her down with me.

She deserves to be successful – to have the future she wants.

She deserves better.

"Greer, I can't do this anymore," I blurted out, beginning to feel that pre-cry nausea I've become so accustomed to during the past year (more or less) of my life.

"Can't do what?" she asked, clearly confused. "We don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to. It's okay…"

"No, **this**," I said, as if that were some sort of clarification. "I can't do **this**…"

"Brenna, I don't understand."

"We can't be together, anymore," I said, my voice trembling – the tones of a mixture of anxiety and sadness.

"Did something happen?" she asked, her disbelief at what I was saying almost palpable. "Where is this even coming from?"

"I've just been doing a lot of thinking, Greer," I mumbled, trying to remain calm. "It's best if we don't see each other."

"Brenna…what's going on?" Greer asked. "I mean…**clearly** we're not on the same page…because I thought we were doing just fine."

"It's just that…," I began, struggling through the tears. "I'm not good for you, Greer. I've got a lot of…baggage…right now. And I don't want that to be _your_ baggage. You shouldn't have to deal with what's going on in my life. You've got grades to maintain and—"

"Oh my God, Brenna…is this about a few bad grades?" she asked, almost yelling now. "Those are _not_ your fault."

"Greer, we're different people," I said. "You've got a lot to look forward to and I don't wanna ruin any of that. I've gotta deal with my life and you should deal with yours."

"Brenna, you _know_ I'm always here for you," Greer said. "I **want** to be there for you. Please, please, don't think you're a distraction for me. I _want_ us to be together. I _want_ us to talk through this."

"Greer, I can't," I said, the tears coming ever faster now – growing more upset at the possibility that her mom could even be listening in on Greer's end of the conversation. "You don't get it."

"Bren, what don't I get?" Greer begged. "Just _talk_ to me. Please."

"It's too difficult, Greer."

"What is?" she asked, sounding both frustrated and helpless.

"Being with you, right now…is too hard," I explained. "We should just…take a break."

"I don't want to," Greer said quietly.

"Greer, I want the best for you."

"How is this the best for me, Brenna?!"

"You'll see. You deserve everything you've worked for. You deserve the best, Greer. And that's not me."

"Brenna…**please.** Don't do this."

"I _**love**_ you, Greer," I said finally – though I'm sure what I had just said was swallowed by my sobs, unintelligible to Greer. "I'm _sorry_."

With that, I hung up.

Believe me, that was the hardest thing I have _ever_ had to do. Maybe Greer will be better for it in the end?

If Mrs. Danville was right about one thing…it was that I cared for Greer...a **lot**. In fact, I _loved_ her. And I finally told her.

What sucked, though, was that the time I **finally** told her how I feel about her…was the time I broke up with her.

Stupid, Brenna.

Stupid.

* * *

><p><strong>Longer update for sure and definitely no shortage of drama. Don't worry - this isn't the end! As always, thanks for the comments and compliments - enjoy reading!<strong>

**P.S. Don't kill me.**


	24. Back And Forth

**Chapter 24 – Back And Forth**

Did I make the wrong decision? Just tell me I did the right thing…

It was the right thing…right? I just need some sort of validation. I mean, what choice did I even have? Her mom gave me an ultimatum – not to mention a _huge_ guilt-trip to boot. I really _do_ want what's best for Greer. And right now…maybe that's **not** me. As painful as it is, right now...this could be better in the long run.

"Mom?" I called out as I closed the front door behind me, leaving my coat on the staircase railing and throwing my shoes by the door.

"In the kitchen, Bren!" she called back, as I made my way to her voice.

"Hey, Mom," I said, sitting on a stool at the kitchen island - the mental exhaustion poorly hidden from my voice.

"So, I take it you got to see April?" she asked, as she headed to the refrigerator to pull out some leftovers to heat up for dinner.

"Oh, I'm not really hungry and I have a lot of work to do for school tomorrow," I said, letting her know she didn't have to worry about warming any food up for me. "I'll just come down later on and get a snack or something…"

"You sure? It's really not a problem to just warm a little extra…" she offered. "I'm already taking it out..."

"Yeah, it's fine," I said, somewhat curtly. "Did you just get back from work or something?"

"Uh, no…well…yes," she answered. "I worked a little bit late today since I took some time around lunch to go see April at the hospital. But then I met up with George…to…talk about what we do from here on out."

"Oh," I said, getting the impression there was more to what she was saying than she was…actually…saying – out loud. Soon, though, it dawned on me that I never actually answered her original question: "Oh…yeah. I _did_ get a chance to go see April with Beth. She filled me in on what the doctor's thinking for now…"

"Yeah," Mom said glumly. "We just gotta hope things work out now. It's kind of a waiting game, unfortunately…"

"Yeah," I nodded, certain my mom had noticed the bloodshot appearance of my eyes – secondary to crying, as always.

"You okay, Bren?" Mom said, setting down a dish, and taking a seat on the stool across from me.

_No_, I thought. But honestly, how much am I going to tell my mom? I can't tell her about Mrs. Danville because there'll be some sort of parental war, for sure. I definitely don't need my mom to fight _all_ my battles. Maybe I could tell her some of the story – without giving away _too_ much. My mom usually _does_ have good advice…when she's thinking rationally. Mama-Bear-Must-Protect-My-Children Mom, though, wasn't **always** a rational thinker. In fact, she was **never** a rational thinker.

"Greer and I broke up," I said flatly. Noticing my mom's look of surprise, I continued, "Well…I broke up with _her_."

"Wait, what?" Mom said, taken aback. "How come? I thought things were going great…?"

"Yeah, they were," I shrugged, realizing how ridiculous this all must have sounded to my mom.

"Okay…well what happened between things going great and…now?" Mom asked. "What changed?"

Ugh, if only I could tell her what **really** happened.

"Greer got a few bad grades, and I think it has to do with us spending so much time together," I explained, which was the truth…I guess. "I think I'm too much of a distraction."

"Where'd you get that idea?" Mom asked.

"I mean, she never actually blamed me or anything," I began. "But I can't help but feel responsible, you know? She would never say it…but I think our relationship is…_was_…a distraction for her."

"So, she never actually…_said_…any of that," Mom said, looking at me as if I were crazy.

"Well, no…" I said, not really sure of how to defend my line of reasoning anymore. "I know this must sound ridiculous to you…but I just want what's best for her."

"And what's 'best' for her?" she asked, her eyebrows raised, and her fingers drawing air-quotes.

"I don't know," I said blankly. "To do well, I guess? She's got **so** much lined up for herself…I just _don't_ wanna mess things up for her."

"So are you telling me you _don't_ have a future, Brenna?" Mom asked – a look of concern on her face.

"No, that's not what I meant. I just meant…things are more…_loose_ for me. Like nothing's set in stone. And for me…that's okay. But…Greer's got big plans and I just don't wanna get in the way of them. I want her to have whatever she _wants_ to have."

"Brenna, what if what she _wants_…is you?" Mom asked, sincerely. "I'm having a hard time believing that if she never actually said any of those things to you – about her grades, about your futures – that she would even _want_ to break up. What are the chances that maybe…you're just over-thinking this?"

Truthfully, I probably was over-thinking this.

I had been thinking all along that I should break up with Greer because we're "different people". That's what I've been saying, right? Yeah, I guess it's true – to an extent.

But the more I think about it now, that's not really why I broke up with her.

I think I broke up with her because I didn't want to _get_ hurt – and I didn't want to hurt _her_.

Let's say I ignored everything her mom said, and we went ahead and still tried to hold onto our relationship in secret. Honestly, how long could that last before someone found out about it? Specifically…how long could we go on sneaking around before her _mom_ found out about it? Then, Greer and I would **never** see each other again. I'm sure of that.

I know I thought if we broke up we could still _somehow_ be friends, but that seems pretty unlikely now. That being said, the amount of pain caused by a breakup down the road would be way worse than this. I think…

After some time, I finally spoke again, "I don't wanna hold her back, Mom."

"I know, honey," my mom nodded. "Tell me, though…how does she make _you_ feel?"

Easy question. "Happy."

"And how do you feel about _her_?" Mom asked, her therapist-side on full display at the moment. Sometimes you'd think it'd be great to have a therapist in the house - but _most_ of the time, it ended up being a little annoying. I know she means well, though.

"I **love** her, Mom," I said, rolling my eyes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world – not even realizing how I had just casually admitted that to my mother…

Shaking her head in surprise, she finally said, "Now you tell me…with what you **just** said…do you really wanna break up with her?"

Ugh, if only Mom knew the other part of all this – the Mrs.-Danville of it all.

"At this point, even if I **wanted** to get back together with her, she probably _hates_ me for breaking up with her in the first place," I said, hopelessly.

"Brenna Carver," my mom said firmly – catching my attention in a way that only the use of my _full_ name (minus my middle-name) could garner. "I'm sitting here…listening to you. You say you're different people – and have different goals. But not once in our _entire_ conversation…did I _actually_ get the feeling that you truly believe you should've broken up."

I looked at my mom at a loss for words, as usual. Because she was right, after all.

Yeah, I've been saying it all along that maybe we should break up…or maybe it would be "best" if we did. Honestly, though, I'm not entirely sure we _should_ have.

"It's getting late, Bren," my mom said, taking a look at the clock on the stove. "You should probably get upstairs and get started on your work…"

"Yeah, I guess," I said, grabbing my bag and heading upstairs to my room.

"And Brenna?" Mom said again, as I turned around once more to find her staring at me rather intensely. "If you **_really_ **love her…think about what I said."

Giving her a small nod, I trudged up the last few steps on the staircase and lumbered into my room. Throwing my bag by my desk and grabbing my textbook, I climbed onto my bed to do some reading.

Only three minutes into this reading assignment and I definitely couldn't tell you what I had just read. Something about moles…maybe stoichiometry? Whatever the hell _that _was…

It was impossible to focus because I just kept thinking…

What if I made a **huge** mistake?

* * *

><p><strong>Another relatively short one, but enjoy!<strong>


	25. Now We Talk

**Chapter 25 – Now We Talk**

::_beeeepbeeepbeeeep_::

Ugh, another day started on a poor night's sleep. I groaned as I threw my blanket toward the foot of the bed and after some serious straining, managed to slam my hand down on the screaming alarm clock to turn it off. My eyes stung with that familiar burn they get when I haven't had enough sleep. And if you know what I'm talking about…it's a feeling that _doesn't_ go away with a splash of cold water to the face. It's one that lingers around **all**…day…long.

It's been a few weeks since I broke up with Greer. I know…despite thinking it was a mistake…I haven't been able to bring myself to talk to her – or to tell her what I really feel. I've passed her a few times in school these past few weeks – less often than you would think, actually. Though, if she _were_ avoiding me…I wouldn't blame her. The few times we **did** see each other in passing, though, were the most awkward encounters ever.

Most of the time, I tried not to make eye contact...But if we did? It was like a slap in the face. The pain in her eyes was too much to bear so…I've gotten to know my shoes pretty well.

April's still in the hospital – receiving a longer course of chemo this time around. I've stayed over with her a few times to keep her company and she seems to be doing okay, I think. The same old _stoic_, April. The best news so far, though, is that we've found a good match for April from the bone marrow registry. The plan in the next few days is to give her the bone marrow transplant and monitor her from there. As far as I understand there's a lot of risk with this but…if it could save her life…it's **obviously** worth it.

That being said, the collective worry is running high in the Carver household.

If there's one positive that came of my break-up with Greer…it was that Ford and I have gotten a little closer over the past few weeks. The initial awkwardness of our rekindled friendship was slowly fading and we began to spend a little more time together both in and out of school. Our relationship is definitely different since we mended things a little while back. I think Ford's changed a bit since that time – you know…grown. She's not as…broody…if that makes sense?

And, no, in case you're wondering…it's not lost on me that _Greer_ had a large part in us being able to patch things up...

I lay in bed for a few more minutes when I noticed my room was a bit brighter than it usually is. It was almost as if there was this white-washed glow filling my entire room – and my blinds weren't even fully opened. Hopping out of bed and running to the window to open the blinds, I was assaulted by the unrelenting glare as the morning sun lit up the street full of freshly-fallen snow. How much snow could there be? Maybe a foot?

"Mom!" I yelled, still looking out my window.

"You **STILL **have school, Brenna!" she called back from downstairs.

"What?! Are you kidding?!" I yelled back. "It's like a blizzard out there!"

"Stop yelling and deal with it!" she called again. "Breakfast in twenty minutes!"

"FINE!" I yelled finally, moving over to my dresser to grab clothes for today.

This day wasn't off to the most ideal start and the snow-laden trudge to school I had ahead of me was the cherry on top of it all.

* * *

><p>I got to school a good ten-minutes before homeroom, thankfully, which gave me enough time to get to my locker and trade out my soggy socks and snow boots for some dry flats. Who keeps an extra pair of shoes in their locker, you say?<p>

I do…duh.

"Hey, Bren," Ford said coming over to greet me. "You ready?"

"Uhh, give me a sec," I said as I stashed my dripping-wet boots and socks into my locker. I feel like this was going to make a _huge_ mess in my locker…but whatever. "Alright, all set."

Hoisting my backpack onto my back, we started to make our way through the crowd of students now scurrying to make it to homeroom. If there was anything I hated more than the feeling of wet socks and wet shoes…it was the incessant squeaking of everyone **else's **wet shoes as they trampled through the hallways.

We were almost at our rooms – which conveniently happened to be next to each other – when I saw Greer from the corner of my eye. I tried **so** hard not to make eye contact but I was just a few seconds too late in looking away – as our eyes met…and there was that slap in the face, yet again. I mean, it was too late to turn away now…should I smile? What do I do? As she passed us going in the opposite direction, I gave her a sad smile – one of those tiny ones that sort of says _I'm sorry_ but also _I don't know what to tell you_.

I'm not sure what I was expecting in return but all I got was a head-nod and an empty stare – devoid of emotion.

"Oh my God, you guys are _killing_ me with this awkwardness!" Ford said to me, nudging me in the arm. "Just _talk_ to her!"

"I can't, Ford," I said, frustrated.

"Why not?" Ford asked.

"You wouldn't understand," I said, defeated. Though, a thought crossed my mind.

Maybe it was time I told Ford about what happened between me and Mrs. Danville. I mean, I told Beth…but maybe telling Ford would be different. Maybe she'd have advice for me – or some _other_ opinion on the situation. Well even if I were to tell Ford…now wasn't the time nor the place.

"Try me, Bren," Ford said sincerely. In fact…it was weird to see this much sincerity and genuineness from her. Maybe she really has changed?

Looking at her for a few moments, trying to make a decision, my homeroom teacher stepped outside the room and said, "Ms. Carver, let's go…You're gonna be late."

"Sorry," I said, smiling politely at my teacher and making my way into the room.

Turning around again before my teacher closed the door, I called after Ford, "After school!"

* * *

><p>At the end of the school day, I headed to my locker to change into my previously-soggy-but-now-cold-and-damp snow boots. My locker <em>was <em>a mess and this was going to be all kinds of unpleasant…

Ford and I decided, once school was over, we'd meet by the school entrance and would walk to 99 Café together. Hurrying to meet her, someone grabbed me by the arm and swung me around swiftly.

"Are we **ever** gonna talk?" Greer asked, staring at me intensely – her eyes darting back and forth, to and from my own. "Or...just keep trying and failing to avoid each other in the hallways…"

So she started a conversation with me...Maybe she _doesn't_ hate me.

"I can't right now, Greer," I said hastily – which was true. Nor was I even prepared to have a conversation with her. "I have to go…"

"Brenna, it's been weeks," Greer said. "That phone-call out of nowhere…the break-up…and then _nothing_. For weeks."

"Greer, I _really_ can't do this, right now," I repeated, clenching my fists out of nervousness – my eyes dropping to the floor.

Greer looked at me for a few more moments, her stare some blend of devastation and a desire to understand what _possibly_ could have been going on in my head. Honestly, I couldn't tell you, either…

"Fine," she said finally – dropping the conversation altogether.

I seized the opportunity to walk away from her as fast as I could – never once turning around to look back.

* * *

><p>On the walk over to the coffee shop, Ford and I spent our time talking about our respective days at school. You know, the usual banter revolving around silly things teachers said or the waste-of-time assignments they had doled out.<p>

Finally grabbing our cups of coffee, we settled down at the table by the bay window. After sitting down, I was overcome with this weird sensation – like I felt out of place, almost. This _was_ mine and Greer's table, after all...

"Alright, you've dodged the subject long enough," Ford said with purpose. "Why won't you talk to her? You both could _**not **_look more miserable."

"Well," I began, trying to choose my words carefully in explaining the situation. "Greer's mom kinda made us break up."

"What?!" Ford exclaimed. "That's messed up!"

"Yeah, tell me about it," I sighed.

"When did this even happen?" she asked, still taken aback.

"New Year's Day," I answered. "I went over that night to have dinner with her and her parents. After I said bye to Greer that night, her mom came out after me and basically gave me an ultimatum. Either I break up with Greer…or…I don't know what. I guess she would break us up, either way."

"Seriously?" Ford asked, still in disbelief.

"Yeah," I confirmed. "So the next day when I went to go visit April in the hospital…I just decided we'd be better off if we broke up."

"Brenna," Ford began, sounding almost irritable. "That is…the **stupidest** thing you've ever done."

"What?" I asked in return.

"So _what_ if her mom doesn't want you guys together?" she asked, rhetorically. "See Greer **without** her finding out about it."

"Ford, she'd find out eventually," I fought. "Then it'd be even worse for the both of us. We'd _never_ see each other, again."

"Then don't get caught," Ford countered, as if it were the easiest thing in the world to maintain some sort of secret relationship.

"That would _never_ work," I reasoned.

"No, you don't know that…because you haven't even tried!" Ford said.

"I'm not about to ruin **both** our lives," I said. "Eventually we'd get caught, and it's gonna hurt _much more_ than it does now."

"Brenna...," Ford began calmly. "I can understand – with all that you've been through and all that your family's been through – that you don't wanna jeopardize anything…and you wanna be super careful…"

She paused for a bit, looking at me almost as if to silently ask my permission to continue – which was oddly considerate of her. I nodded to indicate I wanted to hear more of what she had to say.

"I _also_ understand," she continued, "…that she's made you the happiest you've been in a while. You'd think I wouldn't notice these things…but I did. I mean, come on. I was **such** a jerk to her…and she still reached out to _me_ to come _here_ – right here! – and talk it out with you. Why would you give a relationship like that up? Why would you give _her_ up?"

"I mean, honestly, Ford," I began. "Even if we _were_ to get back together, I can **never** tell her what her mom did."

"Why not?" Ford asked, throwing her hands up in frustration. "You can't let her mom get away with that!"

"What am I supposed to do?" I said, equally frustrated.

"Tell her," Ford repeated. "Just…_tell_ her."

"How? I wouldn't even know where to begin!" I added.

"Well…you better figure it out," Ford said – and I would soon _finally_ understand why she was pushing this so hard. "Because I texted her to come meet us here."

"You did _**what**_?!" I said, almost shouting – looking around to see that the owner was indeed glaring at me.

"Yeah, I texted her on our way over here," Ford repeated. "I knew there was _no_ way you were going to talk to her on your own…or at least soon enough. So…this is…a _shove_ in the right direction."

"How do you even have her number?" I asked, incredulous.

"I have my ways," Ford said, shrugging. "But you should probably..._instead..._focus on what you're gonna say to her..."

"I don't even know where to start!" I said panicked – though now at a whisper lest I be glared at some more. "_Why_ are you doing this, Ford?"

"Because I'm your _friend_, Brenna," Ford said with conviction. "And I want you to be _happy_."

Standing up and grabbing her cup of coffee as a familiar blonde entered the coffee shop, she continued with a smile, "And that pink-loving weirdo over there…makes you **_happy_**."

Greer really _does_ love pink…

With that, she walked out of the café, flashing Greer a genuine smile before heading out the door. This room was beginning to feel smaller and smaller...and I was beginning to feel more and more _trapped_.

Oh God, Brenna – say "hi". Just…say…"hi".

Instead, I struggled to peel my eyes away from my coffee cup until her voice broke my staring contest.

"So…_now_ we talk?" she asked quietly, standing before me - her eyes full of hope, I think...

I nodded, "Now we talk."

* * *

><p><strong>Enjoy! I must say, your comments and compliments thus far have been thoroughly appreciated - Thanks for reading along!<strong>


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